It has been stated that women fall in LOVE and men sort of grow into LOVE over time. Men really have to choose to LOVE someone because we are taught in our youthful years to flee from or suppress our emotions. In spite of our ability to camouflage our emotions, we basically know within the first couple of months of dating/courting whether we are interested in pursuing a long-term relationship. Men find someone who they consider attractive and then seek to grow into LOVE over time. Women on the other hand, typically find a man who they view as quality and seek to confirm their LOVE interest in them. Women can become progressively attracted to a man over a short period of time.
I used to wonder why I would often see attractive women with men who society would view as ‘average’. It is because the ‘average’ man displayed quality characteristics which led the woman to become progressively attracted to them.
Women – Do you agree that men of quality become more attractive over time?
Men – Do you know if you’re in it for the long haul early on in the relationship? Does anything really change for you after a couple months of dating a woman?
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3 comments:
Based on my previous relationship, I COMPLETELY agree with the ideology that men of quality become more attractive over time to women. Why? Initially, I was NOT attracted to my significant other..at all...it took a while. Prior to that relationship, I had a couple of "boyfriends" who I felt were really, really cute--so did every other female :) I decided to try something new...My philosophy was, "If I date/marry a guy who is NOT that attractive, then chances are he will more than likely be faithful". Wellllll--- that didn't work! I have certainly matured and become much wiser over the years......
My perspective of LOVE today runs much deeper--ocean deep-- than just the physical. Yes, chemistry/attraction is a MUST..I only want who God gives me to "stir" that type emotion...no one else should be able to...
Now, if he happens to be a man of God, compatible to me, chosen by GOD for me AND fine as ever...hmmmmm....all I can say is.........OH GOD--THANK YA'--HALLELUJAH!!!
As a woman, for me I disagree that men of quality become more attractive over time. I can't force myself to be attracted to someone no matter how good they are or how much they have going for themselves. If we don't click and have that "spark", it doesn't work out. Believe me, I've TRIED to connect with guys that KP considers "average", but the fact that I wasn't really attracted to them overpowered my desire to really get to know them. It didn't matter how deep into the church they were or their relationship with God . . . how good the credit, the fact they didn't have any kids and had never been married, etc. I couldn't force it. We can be set up by associates and talk on the phone all times of the night and have the most in common just talking on the phone, but when we meet and there's no "chemistry", you can't buy a real conversation after that. lol. It's really hard to get beyond the fact that this guy is a whole foot shorter than me while I'm only average height for a woman. It's even harder to get past the serious case of halitosis or the major obesity issues when that person has no desire to see a dentist or to get fit & healthy. It's sad, but I've experienced it and seen it happen to both male and female associates of mine.
Even if the husband God sends for me is "average" or unattractive in some other sense to most other people, I really pray that He opens my heart enough to see his heart just as He looks beyond the physical and superficial to see ours.
Loved your comment....my situation was MUCH different. However, had I known you 20 years ago, we could have had an awesome dialog.....
My life, by far was not forced....
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