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Monday, December 1, 2008

Has Technology Ruined Courtship?



I stumbled across a question on my friend's Facebook page that I found quite interesting.

Why do guys date you via text/email/IM? No more talking until 4am like the old days, courtship has gone to cyberspace.

I found this question to be most interesting and asked permission to post on my blog and on other communication avenues. Does anyone have any thoughts about this question? Let me universalize the question because women are also guilty of this practice too.

When you take the time to engage in meaningful conversation to the point where information is exchanged, why do so many people opt for text messaging, e-mail and IM for communication? I understand during the day when folks are working, but what about in the evening when your day has come to a close? Are our relationships failing because people only get access to the technology side of a person?

Personally...I will not proceed in a relationship where effective, direct communication is lacking.

Your thoughts please!!!

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have reservation about anyone who whats to spend most of there time in passive communication. One of my friends, he would rather text or IM than call me on the phone. I am more of a in your face or hear your voice person. I think your responses to conversation can be better delivered. Occasionally text is ok, but to constantly do it bothers me and I just stop calling.

GB

Tiff said...

I totally agree... A person can be whom ever they want to pretend to be in a text message or IM/email. You can't possibility know who you are dealing with, if there is no REAL communication between the parties.
Call me old fashion but I'll take a phone til 3am over a text message any day of the week.

Anonymous said...

I, without a doubt, prefer to talk face to face....I love studying the eyes of the person I am conversing with...a big dilemma for me is not appearing too forward. In other words, I wouldn't want to appear as if I am chasing a guy just because I want to know more about him. I believe my openness is a hindrance, depending on the gentleman. I am extremely old-fashioned in many ways and have learned that face to face communication is best...however, since a woman can't pursue a man, we must wait to see if a man is even interested, let alone holding a conversation.....

Anonymous said...

Forgot to add...when face to face is not an option...the phone absolutely suffices....just hearing the voice of the other person does makes all the difference.

Anonymous said...

I disagree to some extent. I can be quite busy during the day with regular work, but I have several other things on my plate when the "day" ends. Not many of which can be done while I'm on the phone. I'd rather shoot a text to tell you I'm thinking about you than not to reach out at all and vice versat. Some of us lead very busy lives, and even with the various other methods of communication, there is no reason to not even get a text during the day to say hello. Of course I prefer to have a face-to-face or voice convo of some sort, but that's not possible all the time.

I've also seen it where some people hide behind their messages because they aren't bold enough to say some things to you personally. The shy bit may be cute at first, but if you can't hold a real conversation and it takes you 10 to 15 minutes to respond to a message (not because you're busy but because it takes you that long to come up with a suitable response), it's not happenin. I can talk . . . A LOT . . . so we have to mesh in that area no matter what method we use to communicate.

Anonymous said...

I consider this as a red light that something is wrong. Meaning it is possible that he/she may be hiding something. My next thought would be how serious is this person feeling about me, or are they just playing games. How could you determine that if you never speak to them by phone. Food for thought ladies and Gentlemens. When someone is really feeling you ,there is no question about it they are going to want to hear your voice.My advice to you is beware of a person that only wants to commuincate with you only by text and emails. Something is wrong with that picture.