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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

In the Christmas Spirit or Not?

Christmas time is usually filled with joy and excitement. There are people out and about shopping, planning parties and making travel arrangements to spend time with family and friends. Christmas time can be an awesome time when your mind maintains focus on the reason for the season...the birth of Jesus Christ. However, for many who are unmarried, Christmas time can be a painful reminder of your current season of singleness. No matter how much you try to focus on other things, a sense of disappointment can manifest itself when you are unhappy in your current season. I know people who can manage this time of the year without any signs of disappointment. On the flipside I know many who also struggle during this time of year.

How do you deal with the Christmas season in season of singleness? What keeps you focused?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How do I deal with the Christmans season?.....Aside from the fact that JC is the center of my joy, I guess my offspring keep my "jolly"! They are a "riot"--a complete ball of laughs. I reflect on each holiday from their early years and look to the heaves and thank God for the fruits of my labor! They are a gift from God!

What keeps me focused?....In addition, a very wise man told me to focus on myself a while back (which I certainly appreciated). Others have the ability to see our weaknesses from a different point of view. Anyone who encourages me to become a better person is only doing what God would want we as christian to do. That type of advice/encouragement is better than any wrapped gift under the tree.....

Unknown said...

If we drank Madison Avenue’s Kool-aid, we would find ourselves thinking that we aren’t loved or worthy of love because we didn’t get a box from Kay Jewelers or Zales. Since I’m pass the “I didn’t get a gift from that special someone” phase, I have more recently dealt with the, “I want to celebrate Christmas with my own family in my own house.” I guess it’s some aspect of “nesting,” which comes with this strong desire to cook for days, decorate, and shop til you drop. Well, Santa hasn’t come home to mama and there is still no pitter patter at the house. So, what do you do? Well, you celebrate the season you’re in. If you place your focus on the true meaning of the season and ignore the commercialization, you begin to shift the focus off yourself and realize that even in your singleness you are truly blessed.

One of the ways to stay focused is to use this time to share love with our family members and others who are less fortunate. One of my friends who is currently going through a divorce constantly reminds me, “Love the one who loves.” While I don’t have a husband, I am blessed to have two grandmas who are still alive, clothed and mostly in their rights minds.

Instead of wallowing in anguish and rewinding, “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas, “use that energy to sort toys for the Salvation Army or serve dinner at a local soup kitchen. This past Thanksgiving, I spent a few hours as “the ham server” at an American Legion post. In the past, I have spent Christmases and Easters knee deep in potatoes or whatever item I was assigned to prepare or serve. Interestingly, I am always amazed that homeless guys don’t mind hollering at a sister. One even had the nerve to ask me for my phone number. I just shook my head and thought, “I can’t say no one’s interested.”

I’m not saying it’s easy, but this season within a season can be very difficult if you don’t keep the main thing the main thing. While you might enjoy jamming to the sweet sounds of the O’Jays proclaiming, “Christmas just ain’t Christmas without the one you love,” I pray that you will not allow that to be the soundtrack for your holiday season!