You Need a Commitment!

How many of you know someone in a relationship that seems to be going nowhere? How many years must go by before making a commitment or deciding that other options are desired? Today is the day where you decide that some type of commitment is required from your ‘friend’ or significant other. It is no longer good enough for you to wait while he or she finds himself or herself. It is no longer good enough for you to wait while he or she figures out what he or she wants to be when he or she grows up. It is no longer good enough for you to wait while entangled in a relationship with someone who hasn’t figured out whether or not they want you. It is time for you to have a grow-up conversation that will either solidify the direction you are both going in, or frees you up from a relationship that will WASTE VALUABLE TIME IN YOUR LIFE.

Life is an asset that has a predefined expiration date. You cannot add to or take away from the allotted time God has prescribed for you. Understanding this, why would you remain ensnared in a relationship that doesn’t align with your future aspirations or desires? It is time to make a firm decision to only allow those with like minds and goals to remain connected to you. If your ‘friend’ or significant other is not progressing towards the big picture goals you have for your life, then it’s time for you to set them free. Life is too short to remain connected to people who will hold you back from what God has birthed inside of you. Take control of your life and continue towards the destiny God has called you to.
Be blessed!

“Every day that you waste delays you from progressing towards your destiny!” --Kenny Pugh

Breached Relationship Boundaries

I had the opportunity to speak with a friend last night about an uncomfortable situation she experienced regarding an ex-boyfriend. She and her ex-boyfriend had not communicated regularly since their breakup several years ago, but he recently reached out to her due to a death her family recently experienced. Even though the initial call was to serve as a source of encouragement, he used this as an opportunity to re-connect with someone he had history with. To complicate matters he contacted my friend again to share an intimate dream he recently had about her. Now this may not seem too out of the ordinary, but this ex-boyfriend is now married with a family. The nature and timing of his call were shocking and caused discomfort within the spirit of my friend. Fortunately, she did the right thing by not entertaining the conversation and not feeding into the potential trap that could have presented itself.

As I sat and listened to this scenario, I began to ponder the various men and women who remain in contact with individuals from their pasts. The above scenario highlights a married man approaching an ex-girlfriend. However, some married women are just as guilty of remaining too close with ex-boyfriends.

1. Is there anything wrong with remaining friends with ex-boyfriends or girlfriends?
2. Upon entering into a serious relationship, do you discuss past relationships of your mate and request boundaries to be implemented?
3. Are there dangers of remaining connected to an individual you have a history with?
4. If you are friends with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, how do you keep the contact appropriate?

Remaining too close with someone you have history with serves as a potential source of discord and contention, which can lead to breached boundaries.

Is It Just a Fantasy?

Workplace topic of the week...

Has society helped women create a conceptualized view of relationships that they will never realistically experience?

Will black men ever catch-up to the expectations that have been placed upon them?

Do Something Unconventional!

As I sit here at my desk this morning, I continue to ponder why so many people never experience happiness during their unmarried season. Unfortunately, many (myself included), get caught-up in the redundancy of everyday life and never step out of the box to experience the new opportunities everyday life brings. How can we expect to ever grow if we never break the routine of working, going to school, eating and sleeping? When was the last time you did something unconventional?

If you cannot remember, then I challenge you to do something unconventional this weekend! Go see a movie with friends or by yourself. Go patronize a new restaurant in your area. Go serve as a volunteer at your local Boys and Girls Club. Go to the spa and treat yourself. Go workout and improve the temple God has blessed you with. If you don’t like any of the aforementioned ideas, then do something you’ve been wanting to do personally (go hiking, white-water rafting, camping, etc.).

Relationship Tip - 07/24/08

My pastor preached a message this past Sunday on managing conflict. While meditating on the message, a very important relationship tip was revealed to me.

"It is very difficult to have a true and validated relationship without learning how to overcome adversity and conflict."

The reason many relationships fail and marriages end in divorce, is based on the inability of two people to resolve conflict. The more I think about the process of dating, courting, engagement and marriage, the more I am an advocate of experiencing the four seasons of relationship.

I will do a future post providing a more in depth look at each of the seasons listed below.

Season 1 Infatuation - Usually at the beginning of a relationship when everything seems like Utopia.
Season 2 Reality Check - Usually follows the season of infatuation. Reality check occurs when you begin to see the person for who they really are.
Season 3 Adversity - This season can occur at any point in a relationship. Adversity is experienced when job loss, death, financial stresses and difference in views start to surface. Overcoming the season of adversity is very critical in the success of relationships.
Season 4 Status Quo - This is the season where things seem to remain the same within the relationship. Status Quo can be good if things are in synch with two people or can be bad if two people aren't seeing eye to eye.

These seasons can occur in any order, but most relationships experience these in some form. I would be extremely careful about declaring victory in your relationships until you have experienced the full cycle of these seasons.

True Meaning of Marriage

Here is another article written by Jimmie Evans of MarriageToday. If you are currently unmarried, then look at this article from the perspective of discussing it with your significant other (i.e., potential sexual fidelity).

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Have you ever wondered what marriage really means? In other words, what occurs when a wedding ceremony is performed that makes things different than before? Here are the three main distinctions from a social and legal perspective:

* We share assets and liabilities (financial unity)
* We become next of kin to each other
* We swear sexual fidelity and exclusivity

Marriage is a big deal. Even when you exclude the spiritual dynamic of becoming one flesh, marriage bonds us together with another person in a profound manner. It also makes us more dependent on that person than on anyone in any other relationship in our lives.

For that reason trust is a premium in marriage. And as you can see from the bullet points above, trust must be reflected in three main areas - finances, personal care and sexuality. When we are operating in good faith in those three areas, marriage is good.

However, when any one of those is compromised, a marriage is almost always significantly impaired - if not devastated. The three distinctions of marriage reflect the essential areas of commitment and care we must assume and continue in with good faith if we are going to succeed.

I encourage you to think seriously about these three areas. If possible, discuss each of them with your spouse and see if there are any problems you need to work through. As you consider these, here are some questions to think about:

* Am I diligent and considerate financially? Do I think about how my financial habits affect my spouse and our overall well-being? Do I discuss expenses or financial decisions with my spouse before acting?
* Do I care for my spouse and meet their needs? Are they the foremost priority in my life in practical terms? Do I put them off or take them for granted?
* Am I sexually faithful? Do I faithfully meet my partner’s sexual needs? Do I keep my heart pure related to temptation? Do I have any inappropriate relationships or conduct that compromise my marriage or my conscience before God?

It is important to remember what marriage means. It is even more important to work hard to let our spouse know that we are committed to financial unity, personal care and sexual faithfulness.

Equal Opportunity???

Workplace topic of the week...

How open are you to exploring relationship opportunities with people of different races?

Men are typically more open to dating women of different races; whereas, women are more likely to stay within their race in search of Mr. Right. Take time to personally explore yourself to see where you fit in.

Have you indirectly placed God in a box by saying that your spouse has to come in a certain package? Hmmmmm....

I'm interested in your comments so please feel free to leave them :).

Upgrade Me

Checkout today's Freelance Friday article written by Arlecia D. Simmons!


One of the most popular secular song’s of 2007 is Beyonce’ Knowles’s “Upgrade You.” In the popular R&B tune the vocalist articulates to her partner that her presence in his life can be considered an asset and not a deficit. While the song begins with an expletive spewed by her rap mogul boyfriend, Jay-Z, it is essentially a song about being a good helpmate. This embedded message does not surprise me, as I Corinthians 27 reminds that God will use the foolish things of this world to confound the wise.

If a song played in bars and clubs can articulate the importance of a woman standing by her man, then why is that our churches and families spend so little time talking about our individual roles in build healthy relationships? Instead of identifying the areas we must work on before we are suitable mates, we spend our energy outlining the characteristics we would prefer others to possess.

Single women often have lists of attributes we desire in a prospective mate. From year to year our lists changes; however, it is rare that we simply throw them away. Here’s a generic version my list: has a relationship with God; loves his mother; possesses a college degree; enjoys traveling and new experiences; gives back to his community… You get the picture; the list goes on for a few more lines. Even as Christian women we sometimes want our needs or wants to be met with little consideration as to what others might desire or require.

Do you desire a man with a high FICO score when you cannot get a 13-inch television financed? Do you require dates to take you to the most exclusive restaurants when you won’t even leave an appropriate tip at the local steakhouse? Have you said that you’d prefer to date a man without love handles, yet you are 40 pounds overweight?

Fifty pounds ago I was considered morbidly obese and I would look men and say some were too big to be attractive to me. It was only after taking a self-assessment that I realized that I did not reflect, mentally or physically, what I was attempting to attract.

Whether we desire a mate or we find joy in our singleness, we should seek to follow the path of the Proverbs 31 woman. In addition to be a blessing to her family, the Jewish woman is a respected businesswoman. She is able to manage her home and business, which creates multiple streams of income. Little is said about her husband, but we can assume that he was a “baller” in his own right. We learn that she was the quintessential example of someone able to upgrade her mate and gain his respect and trust: "Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value."

Before you continue adding attributes to your “He Must Be” list, consider assessing your strengths and weaknesses. I want a man that will patiently listen to the ideas I have for artistic works: however, I have to work on becoming a better listener? How fair is that?

1) What are the attributes you possess that would enhance a future relationship?
2) Are there emotional or financial issues that you might need to resolve before pursuing a relationship?
3) If you were to get married today, would you be able to cook your new husband a meal? Would he be able to comfortably sit in your living room, or would he need to call you in advance so you could clean your house? What are your views on the two tasks?
4) Do you believe that cleaning and cooking are responsibilities shared between mates? If so, would you be able to satisfy your end of the deal?

Arlecia is also a blogger and her site can be accessed at http://arleciasimmonsinspires.blogspot.com/

Dating Dilemma – Part 2

As I continue through my series on the dating dilemma, I would like to take a look at dating through the eyes of men. Unfortunately, men are the scapegoats when it comes to the dating dilemma, but I’d like to offer-up my support for the men. Men within the church face some very unique challenges when it comes to dating.

1) The Ratio of Women to Men – Unfortunately, the one aspect that is embellished by men all over America can also serve as a detriment. It’s sort of like a kid in a candy or toy store, too many options can impede the ability to make a decision (I won’t chase this rabbit, but it’s tempting). Too many options make it difficult for men to observe and truly collect the data important for making solid dating/relationship decisions. What is the typical result of a man having too many options? A man who has trouble making a decision and/or making a commitment. Until a man recognizes that there will always be more beautiful, sexy, intelligent women out there, he will continue waiting for the perfect woman, who rarely surfaces.

2) Identifying the Best Approach – Many men get this wrong and it usually shatters their confidence for future opportunities.

Here is a list of the wrong times to approach a woman for dating inquiries:
a. Before service begins on the way into the doors of the church. There is nothing worse for a woman than being interrupted on her way into the house of the Lord in order to receive a Word from God.
b. During the middle of service by way of a note written on the back of the church program. What are you here for? This isn’t your high school history class, so please pay attention to the preacher and the message. If a woman thinks you are attractive, you ruin it when you pull this foolishness.
c. At the altar when the pastor or minister is praying for the congregation. Please don’t try this! I’ve seen it attempted and it provides an awkward experience for everyone who witnesses it.

Here are some more opportune times to approach a woman in order to express your interest:
a. After church service is over and people are socializing in the hallways, parking lot or sanctuary. This is a great way to obtain informal information about a person you may be interested in. Take advantage of the informal opportunities for fellowship with your church brothers and sisters.
b. During a church fellowship where the environment is a little more relaxed and the traditional social barriers are removed. Church fellowships are a healthy alternative to the club life and prove to be more fulfilling long-term. Healthy church fellowships can remove the tainted taste of smoke filled clubs, strip clubs and gatherings that typically lead to a path of unrighteousness.
c. While serving in ministry. There is no better way to learn about a potential interest, than by serving with her in ministry. I cannot speak directly for Christ, but I imagine He would smile down on His children serving together in ministry while also developing a long-term relationship.

3) Making a Good Choice – Many men have experienced this hard fact. In the church body, a lot of women run in similar circles. As a result, if a man has his eye on more than one woman who may be friends, runs the risk of blackballing himself if he selects the one who he isn’t compatible with. The only way to avoid finding yourself in this predicament is to sit back and observe the behavior of the women you have an interest in. Based on a more thorough observation you can better assess the woman you may have more in common with, etc.

Overall, dating is a very challenging process and one most men get wrong. Hopefully, the tips above provide some insight on how to better position you for successful opportunities. In the end, God is sovereign, and He will position you to meet the one He has in store for you in His timing. Amen!

The Biggest Test of Your Character

Below is an interesting article written by Jimmy Evans, author and writer of Marriage Today.

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I like this statement: God didn’t make marriage to make us happy. He made it to make us grow up. So many people have a concept of marriage that is flawed. Because of this, they have unrealistic expectations that set them up for disappointment.

Don’t get me wrong. I believe God created marriage for lifelong pleasure and happiness. Beyond any other human relationship, marriage has the potential to make us happier, longer than anything else. But there is a price to happiness and that price is character.

Marriage tests our character in every way. It tests our patience, our work ethic, our willingness to forgive, our sensitivity to others, our tolerance for those different from us, our ability to cooperate, etc. Marriage is the biggest character test in life.

I also like this statement: With God, you never flunk a test. You just keep taking it until you get it right. This is true. God wants us to be like Him. He is trying to produce His character in us and is relentless in His efforts. Relationships are His primary means of testing how much like (or unlike) Him we are.

For me, marriage was like a trip to the proverbial woodshed for the first several years. I was selfish, insensitive, angry and chauvinistic. After the first few years of marriage I was convinced that I had made a mistake in marrying Karen and she was the cause of my misery.

Today, I look back at those times as crucial in the formation of my character. I have to admit that I almost didn’t make it. There were many times when I came to a fork in the road where I had to make a decision to change to become more like the Lord (patient, selfless, forgiving) or remain immature.

Every time I made a positive character change our marriage took a significant step forward. Karen also made positive character choices that benefited our relationship. Today we have a great marriage. We aren’t perfect, but we are more like the Lord than ever before and we are committed to a lifelong journey to be more like Jesus.

How is your relationship? More importantly, how is your character? Remember, it is the foundation of your marriage and every other relationship in life. Also remember, when you are experiencing marriage problems it is often the Lord dealing with a character issue.

Let me rephrase my original statement: Before marriage will make you happy it will make you grow up. It’s time to pass the test and take a step to a happier marriage.

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Please visit Jimmy and Karen Evans at www.marriagetoday.com.

Dating Dilemma – Part 1

Many people who are close to me understand that I have unique perspective when it comes to the practice of dating. After conducting an in depth analysis of the Bible, I concluded that contemporary dating is unbiblical. Any attempts we use to connect the Bible to dating are based on assumption and not scripturally supported. Does this mean we shouldn’t date? Nope…I won’t go to that extreme, but I will offer-up that our mindsets need to change as it relates to the practice of dating. We as individuals must make better educated dating decisions and not become lured into the guidelines of contemporary dating set forth by Real World, Sex in the City, Flavor of Love or Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.

We have been trained by our society that dating multiple people at the same time is acceptable and the norm. However, when you think about dating and the end result that we should be working towards, we ought to take the process of selecting a potential mate more seriously. It’s difficult enough as it is to clearly engage and assess your compatibility with one individual, but it’s exponentially more difficult when you start including additional individuals to assess at the same time. In order to date multiple people at the same time, one must truly be grounded in who you are AND have the ability to separate your dating partners without blurring the dating experiences. Let the truth be told…many of us have barely fully embraced who we are as individuals, which makes dating multiple partners a recipe for disaster. How can you assess your compatibility with someone else when you are not fully stabilized in your own personal being? I’ve provided a recommendation to many of my close male and female friends and I’d like to do the same for you. Please accept the following challenge in an attempt to better position your dating experience:

1.) Make a decision to only date one person at a time. This will afford you the opportunity to learn about the person more in depth, and provides them with your undivided attention. You will be able to quickly make a decision on how much time to give them and allows you to break off unhealthy candidates a lot sooner.
2.) Be willing to step out of your comfort zone. This will give you the opportunity to experience people other than your traditional ‘type’. Let’s face it…your type will probably get you the same results that you have already experienced in life. Give someone different an opportunity to display themselves to you.
3.) Dating isn’t a license for free sex. Refrain from allowing your intimate side to get involved in dating. Sex and intimacy clouds your judgment and causes many people to remain in dating relationships longer than they should. Sex sidetracks and distracts your ability to think clearly when evaluating a lifemate.
4.) Learn how to date yourself first. If you don’t know how to date yourself, then you’ll struggle in your dating relationships. Be confident in who you are and learn the things that make you happy and a quality candidate for a relationship. Don’t allow dating to define who you are because you’ll find yourself in an endless loop of disappointment.

The priorities of successful relationships are as follows:
- Your relationship with God
- Your relationship with yourself
- Your relationship with others

If you embrace the order of the above listed relationships, then you'll be positioned for happier, healthier relationships.

Secrets Happy People Know - And You Can Too!

by Kevin Sinclair

Are the daily pressures and stressors that you face each day present obstacles that cause you feelings of anxiety and hopelessness?

Do you ever look at other people who seem to have the juggling act down pat? Did you ever wonder how these people are able to handle the curve balls that Life hurls their way with the ease, grace and optimism that they display? Maybe you have a friend or family member who has the remarkable ability to see the best sides of life and this frustrates you because you are unable to understand just from where their eternal sunshine originates.

Don't worry, you are in good company. There are many people who feel the crunch from pressures at work, family routines that are hectic and an energy level that seems to have plummeted so much that your enjoyment in life has plummeted right along with it. If you have forgotten how to take the positive approach and view to life, or if Life has placed obstacles in your way such as loss of a job, illness or death of a family member and it has drained the life from you, then try these tips to return joy to our life.

Stay Connected:

When you are rushing about, paddling as fast as you can to keep your head above water and stay on top of all of your tasks, you may forget to stay connected to the people who are important to you. You may have let your family and friends slip to the back burner.

Studies show that happy people have good relationships. If you are feeling down, it may help to call a friend and go for coffee. Maybe make some special time to spend with your spouse or children. Human interaction can boost your energy and help you get your priorities in order so that you can feel joy.

Contemplate The Good Things In Your Life:

This may sound redundant, but stop to think about the things that are good in your life. When you focus on the positive things in your life it can really increase your happiness and satisfaction.

Is something going on at work that is getting you down? Have you been dealing with your kids the way that you should or are you cranky and short with them? You can turn these feelings around when you consciously take inventory of the things that you have done right. When you identify areas where you can make improvements and acknowledge that the changes are good for you, you will begin to feel better. If you spend your life beating yourself up over mistakes you've made and injustices done to you, it will only serve to break your spirit.

Get A Hobby:

Sometimes a little diversion is just what the doctor ordered to pull you out of your funk. Get a hobby and it just might bring happiness back to your life. When you challenge yourself and enrich your life with interests that extend beyond the scope of your daily routine, it can bring a zest to your life that you may have been missing.

Do Something For Someone Else:

It is easy to get wrapped up in your own problems and wallow in your disappointments, but if you take a moment to look beyond your own problems and see where you can help someone else, it can bring you great satisfaction and joy.

You really don't have to do much to start feeling better. Holding the door for someone, bringing a co-worker a cup of coffee, helping someone load their groceries into their car or picking up groceries for an elderly neighbor can do wonders for your psyche. It can make you feel better and remind you that we are responsible for our own happiness and that it comes from our own attitudes and actions.

There are instances where your lack of enjoyment of life may be related so a physiological or psychological condition such as heart disease, depression, hypertension or anxiety and no amount of good deeds are going to help. If this is the case, you should consult your physician and get some help so that you can take the steps necessary to get your life back on track, a smile on your face and a spring in your step.


Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.

Focus on the Big Picture

Please excuse any typos as I am submitting this via my blackberry.

Last week I got involved in a heated with an non-believer about the success rate of marriage relationships. He mentioned to me that he has now started focusing on his personal happiness rather than trying to satisfy the woman or women he is with. His main argument was that a man will never be able to meet the ongoing emotional demands of women and trying to do so hampers the success rate of relationships. I fought tooth and nail against this stance until he made another statement to support his position. First, he argued that there is no benefit or track record of success of those within the body of Christ versus those outside the body of Christ. Second, he argued that most men typically DO NOT choose the marriage path until they are cornered by a woman. He said the source of a woman's desire for marriage is an emotional response to societal perceptions and standards. The result he continued, is 90% of marriages are initiated because of pressure by women and their emotions. Another result is 70% of divorces are initiated by women because the emotional responses are unable to support long-term happiness.

My final response to him was that the church IS NOT doing a god job of preparing people for long-term relationships. I also agree that both men and women need to be honest in shifting the focus from the wedding day, to the big picture of long-term marital relationship. However, I still believe in the source of hope above all hope! The priorities of assessing a potential mate are:

1. Christ - If person doesn't believe what you believe, to the level you believe, then leave them alone!

2. Character - A person without good character automatically eliminates themselves from consideration. A compromise to this compnent will result in a lifelong experience of misery.

3. Clarity - Clarity is the ability to see the big picture and recognize that all relationships have peaks and valleys. During the valley experience within the relationship, be sure to focus on the future and recognize that Christ is the center of your relationship. Clarity removes the focus from the negative and shifts it to the positive.

At the end of the day, don't opt for marriage because of a biological clock, peer or societal pressure, but only when you connect with someone who helps to enhance God's purpose for your life!

Relationship Coaching

- Are you tired of experiencing disappointment in your relationships?
- Why continue to invest time in relationships that will never manifest into the healthy long-term relationship you desire?
- Tired of making the same mistakes over and over again?

Consider hiring KP to serve as the relationship coach in your life. All successful people have coaches who help them navigate through various obstacles of life, and the area of relationships is no different. For less than a tank of gas you can be on your way to establishing the framework necessary to build healthy long-term relationships. Contact KP at chatkafe@kennypugh.com for more information.

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means?

I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means?

July 4th is the day that we celebrate the independence of our beloved country the United States of America. This is a day filled with fireworks, light shows and cookouts in various areas across our US cities and towns. Well, on this day I challenge you to also celebrate your personal season of independence too! Many feel doomed because they don’t know why being unmarried is a positive season, when everyone and everything around us promotes singleness as a hassle and plague. Here are five reasons to celebrate your personal independence on this day:

1. Freedom – Do you have a desire to take a random trip with friends to an out of state destination? Do you ever want to take the day off and go to a movie by yourself? During your season of singleness, you have the freedom to do whatever you desire without having to check-in with anyone.

2. Opportunity to discover who you are – Once you are deeply involved in a relationship or marriage, it’s very difficult to personally discover who you are. However, during your season of singleness, you are able to explore your personal areas of interest in an attempt to find out what God really desires for you to do. The downfall of some marriages is due to one party still trying to figure out what their individual purpose in life is, while engaged in a covenant relationship with a mate.

3. Opportunity to grow personally and serve – Your season of singleness gives you the opportunity to take training classes for professional growth, participate in church missions trips and further your education before taking on the added responsibility of family. Why not be and become all you can during this season of your life in preparation for the long-term calling God has for your life?

4. More control over your time – During your season of singleness you don’t have to give an account of your time to anyone. Period! You have full authorization to allocate your personal time as you see fit :).

5. Sole decision-maker – What happens if you receive a job opportunity that requires you to relocate? What happens if you desire to go back to school in order to obtain a law degree or masters degree? What about those expensive shoes or that expensive suit in the mall? In your season of singleness you are the sole decision-maker and can make decisions without consulting anyone else.

After all is said and done, you have one life to live so LIVE IT UP! Keep God first, make good decisions and explore life.

KP

Compatibility Questions - Part 3

In continuing with my look at compatibility questions to consider when evaluating a mate, please consider these:

1. How does your new love handle a crisis? – There is nothing worse than finding out that your lifemate becomes abusive, dependent on drugs or alcohol, or experiences extreme depression when crisis occurs. You may not have an opportunity to personally experience crisis with your mate during the dating/courting/engagement phases of your relationship. However, be sure to engage in intimate dialog that may be able to shed light on how they have dealt with crises in the past.

2. Behave in public places? – Does you potential lifemate become extremely obnoxious towards you or others in public? Does he/she treat common workers (waiters, waitresses, doormen, custodians, etc.) rudely? When a person demonstrates a lack of respect towards people, it could be a warning that this lack of respect may one day include you.

3. Treat your friends and family? – Have you ever seen a situation where a spouse did not get along with a parent or friend of their husband/wife? It makes for a very uncomfortable situation and could be a source of friction throughout the duration of the relationship. Be careful and try to resolve conflicts quickly so they don’t linger.

Remember...do not seek ways to kill a potential relationship, but look for ways to confirm you have the right person.

1. Don't look for characteristics in a person that you are not willing to exhibit yourself.

2. There is only one Jesus...so please manage your expectations for your mate. No one is perfect, but make sure they are intentional and willing to follow the perfect Christ.