For Better or For Worse

'Tis the season for marital issues in the lives of a few close friends. When the stresses of life intertwine with the intimate interaction of marriage, it is very easy to see how relationships can begin to experience strain. The covenant of marriage states that marriage is for better or for worse, but how many people actually look forward to persevering through the second part of that statement? Enjoying the ‘better’ part of relationships is the easy part. However, it's amazing how two people can get along harmoniously for weeks or months at a time, but short-term interruptions in this flow of harmony can cause two people to reconsider. Unfortunately, many people become lured by the ‘better’ clause of the covenant statement, but fail to really understand the ‘worse’ clause of the covenant statement.

I now know why the courtship process is so important in assessing the potential reality of two people becoming one through marriage. Courtship allows two individuals to go through an ongoing set of real life interviews to determine if they right for one another. Unfortunately, courtship in the eyes of some is seen as a race for the altar. However, in the attempt to race for the altar many lose sight of the little things that can cause problems later. A wise man once said that you shouldn’t rush a person to the altar with the intent on altering them. When assessing a potential mate for marriage, a person must realize a man or woman isn’t like a pair of jeans, shoes or jacket that can be returned to a store in exchange for money back. You have to be willing to accept the person that stands across from you for who they are on your wedding day for better and for worse. If the person you marry is a cheater, then you must be open to the fact that he/she may continue cheating. If the person you marry is selfish, then you must be open to the reality that he/she may continue being selfish. If the person you marry is materialistic, then he/she may continue being materialistic. You marry both the good and the bad in a person. Also, understand that marriage will magnify the shortcomings in person. You have to come to accept a person for who they are in their entirety.

Men and women are free-willed individuals who think, behave and operate according to where they are in life. God is the only one capable of changing a person’s heart, desires and behavior. God accepts all of us in our humanity for better and for worse, so as believers we should follow in His footsteps and do the same.