Enter Relationships at Your Own Risk

Jesus is the supreme example of living without fear of being disappointed by others: "He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave.... He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death - even to death on a cross" (Philippians 2:7-8).

Disappointed and hurt people sometimes find it difficult to move onto new relationships. This is a direct result of being hurt by someone who was able to break through the brick wall often erected by someone who has had a bad past experience. Should disappointment and hurt detour us from pursuing future relationships and opening ourselves up to people in the future? Of course not! Remember…all people in their humanity have the ability to disappoint and hurt others because no one is perfect. We should never operate with a spirit of fear towards relationships because that is contrary to what God wants for our lives. Let’s face it…all people, even Christians can be rude, uncouth, obnoxious, and sometimes downright disgusting. After experiencing heartbreak we as unmarried adults may even be tempted to display signs on our desks that say "Enter relationships at your own risk."

Forgive my sarcasm, but I am not naïve enough to believe Christians and non-Christians are incapable of hurting others! What are we supposed to do when we know that a move toward another relationship exposes us to the risk of being disappointed? We move forward in love which is easy to say, but definitely difficult to do. Making ourselves vulnerable to hurt and disappointment is frightening, but this has to happen if we are to love as we are loved.

Mature Christians are those who are willing to look fully into the face of hurt and disappointment and feel it, knowing that because they do, they will come to a deeper awareness that no one can comfort the heart like Jesus Christ. In the presence of such pain, one more easily sees the uselessness of every attempt to find solace in one's own independent strategies. Facing and feeling the pain of disappointment underlies more than anything else the gripping truth that only in God can we trust.