Married and Miserable vs Single and Sexless
Dear Lord,
I have come to the realization that our generation has some serious flaws and gaps as it relates to marriage and dating relationships. I look all around me and notice that the number of failed relationships and marriages seem to dwarf the number of positive relationships and marriages. Why is that Lord? Is it because black men decide that marriage doesn't seem worth the headache after having already committed? Is it because the number of men and women coming from stable two-parent households has pretty much become non-existent? Is it because black men like myself wait so long to consider marriage that selfish habits and ways settle in as roadblocks against our desire for marital bliss? Is it because many of the women we seem to attract give us the full experience of marriage-like privileges without the need for a ring or commitment?
As a black man, the options for evaluating the God-sent ONE seem to be numerous in quantity, but scarce in quality. The options appear in many shapes and sizes...they are Christian and Non-Christian, they represent various professions and educational backgrounds...and possess many skills and gifts. However, there is no amount of money, no level of beauty or no gift outside of Your love that can replace being blessed with THE ONE You have chosen for me.
My boy asked me to name the number of married couples between the ages of 25 and 40 years of age whose marriages I would model mine after. I couldn't really even answer the question with optimism, but came up with a very short list of individuals. Unfortunately, in the requested age group I can name way more couples who are married and miserable. Maybe I am focusing too myopically! My sad reality is married and miserable has become the unfortunate face of what bachelors like myself have in our presence to contaminate our thinking. If marriage is so good, then why are so many people trying to get out? Why do so many married people seem married and miserable? Has the enemy's selfishness crept in to disrupt what You have created as good? Do men and women stick around simply because they have become numb to their unhappiness? Why are single black women the only ones who seem gung ho about marriage? Is it because they've never tasted it before and once they do...the excitement will dissipate? Hmmmm....
The other alternative is to remain single and sexless. The Word of God speaks against premarital sex and preaches abstinence unless you begin to burn. Awwww dang...that's not the alternative I want to pursue long-term! Let me reflect and be realistic...I've had enough sex during my teenage, college and early adult years to last a lifetime so will I really miss it? Lord all I can say is please deliver me from me :). I don't want to become consumed by this season of life because each year of singleness adds to the already constructed wall of self-consumption in my life. Single and sexless...well this does allow me time to focus without the cloud of emotional entanglement associated with unauthorized sexual relationships. Lord You deserve so much more and at the end of the day it's not about me, but ultimately about giving You glory! I haven't received confirmation on a lifetime of singleness from You so I will continue developing myself, continue pursuing relationships and following You for my direction on marriage.
Prayer
Lord I seek to discover the purpose that you have for my life and pray and trust that you have included the marriage chapter that I desire so much. Allow me to surround myself with positive married role models that can help mentor me as I seek to explore that area of my life. I thank You for providing my parents and grandparents as role models for marriage. Despite what goes on around me I can always look home for the structure that is outlined in Your Word. Lord now I know You want to know if I'm willing to give up all I have for You? Lord I know You want to know if I'm willing to go places that may be uncomfortable? Lord I know You want to know if I'm willing to lay prostrate and worship you unashamedly and unconditionally? Well Lord the answer to all of Your aforementioned questions is YES YES YES!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
.jpg)
1 comment:
Hey Minister Kenny!
In addition to my previous comments, I am COMPELLED to say this from the heart.....
Your feelings toward relationships today, without question, are validated. Yes, the divorce rate is SKY HIGH, mine included! Broken homes, scarred families, the "why buy the cow when the milk is free" syndrome and the list goes on and on and on. Please remember this..... When God is the focal point of EVERY area in our lives, we CAN'T lose. Sure, obstacles, situations, challenges and God knows what else with certainly effect our lives as well, INCLUDING the happiest of marriages. I truly, truly believe that God's plan and design for the family is the foundation needed to succeed. The rest is up to us as a people. The husband, wife and children (if included) each play a vital role toward the successful, christian family. The "enemy's" plan includes tearing down ANYTHING that exemplifies Christ--especially the family. The responsibility of just BEING a dedicated Christian would make such a difference in this universe..... Whatever and "whoever" God has for ya' my friend is YOURS--no matter what the statistics or what is happening to EVERYBODY ELSE around you .....I believe that he truly gives us the desires of our heart if we are faithful to him. Hey, I may have got my only shot at "marital bliss", but I'm willing to do whatever God's plan is for my life. Keep up what you are doing----you are truly on your way. Farsighted......that's what I am capable of seeing.
I hope that helps a little....
Post a Comment