Worth the Wait

As I stood in line awaiting the opportunity to cast my vote for the next President of the United States, I began reflecting on something that resonated within me spiritually. At the beginning of this week I began assessing the various voting locations and associated wait times in order to decide when and where I would cast my ballot. Being a Cobb County resident, the various early voting locations had waiting times ranging from 2 to 6 hours. Because of the importance of this election, I decided to pick a location, jump in line and wait for 2 hours and 47 minutes until I was able to accomplish my goal. I forfeited my desire for a shortcut and persevered through the twisting and turning of a line containing hundreds of individuals. I was eventually able to accomplish my goal and it was indeed worth the wait.

When you reflect over your life, most things you have achieved came with an associated process. Many of you had to endure 16 years of education in order to achieve our college degree. Many of you had to endure 18 years of life prior to transitioning out of your parent’s house in order to live on your own. Many of the successful marriages you hear about required years of processing in order to achieve a level of harmony and happiness.

What am I trying to say? Many of you are willing to endure some level of discomfort in life in order to achieve goals that are important to you. However, in other areas of life you seek a shortcut to your desired goal. If relationships and marriage are important to you, why would you want to usurp the process in order to engage in one outside of God’s will? If education is important to you, why would you seek a shortcut to avoid the process of learning? If growing spiritually is important to you, how can you justify not reading your Bible and spending time with God daily?

Don’t allow your flesh to convince you to do something that IS NOT in your best interest long-term. Focus solely on the Lord and your priorities will endure the process needed to attain the goals you desire.

Stunted Growth

Are you surrounded by people who speak negativity into your dreams and desires? Do you feel like your relationships are in a state of stagnancy? Have you ever wondered why you keep experiencing the same things over and over and over again?

My diagnosis is that you are going through something better known as ‘Stunted Growth.’ If you are experiencing ‘Stunted Growth,’ it is imperative that you perform an immediate assessment of the people you are influentially connected to and the ones that pour into your life. If you review the people on your list and don’t have the Lord as the primary source, an emergency transplant will be required. The core of your inner-being needs to re-wired, re-routed and connected to the true vine of life.

John 15:5, 5"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

When you are connected to the true vine of life, you receive the nourishment and nutrients needed to grow and mature. Many of you are wondering why ‘Stunted Growth’ has set in and the branches of your life haven’t started bearing fruit. Well, it’s because many of you are connected to the stereotypes of society, superficial realities of life, your friends, your job and your image with others.

Fortunately, when you transfer the source of your life over to the Lord, the manifestations of your dreams and aspirations will begin to bear fruit. You will no longer seek affirmation from the people around you and begin to place your desires, future and faith in the Lord.

John 15:7, 7"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Once you are truly connected to the Lord, He will extend to you the petitions of your heart. There is something beautiful about being connected to the Lord and Him blessing you with the fruit of your dreams and desires. Keep your head up and realize that NO PERSON should be able to detour you from living life to its fullest. Get rid of ‘Stunted Growth’ so the rest of your life can become the best of your life.

Corporate vs Domestic

I had an interesting conversation with a close friend who is recently divorced. I asked him if he could do it again, what would he do differently this time around. He responded simply… “I would marry someone who is more nurturing than career focused. I understand my personality and recognize that I need someone more who desires to focus on family and life rather than career ascension.”

I began thinking to myself about which one I’d prefer, corporate or domestic. It definitely makes for an interesting discussion.

Workplace topic of the day…

Which one means more to you, career or family?
Is there a way to integrate both into a marriage relationship without compromise?
Based on your selection, are you aligning yourself properly for success in that area?

All Hope is Lost for Women Over 30

I’m glad I’m not a woman who has progressed past the proverbial age of 30 without the slightest hint of a suitable marriage partner. Seemingly all hope is lost for women who fall into the category of over 30 seeking a husband! Why? You have been taught since an early age that life’s pinnacle is reached once you complete your education, establish your career and experience marriage which is the foundation to family. What many of the people feeding into your mind and spirit at an early age neglected to tell you was the first two goals could be accomplished independently; whereas, the last goal involves participation and cooperation from another responsible and willing human vessel.

It is very easy to buckle-down and focus individually on overachieving academically and professionally because many of the challenges you encounter can be overcome through personal motivation and perseverance. However, the process of joining with a lifemate is a bit more challenging and requires a touch of divine intervention. Interestingly enough, the inability to obtain marriage ‘on-demand’ is something that is now unconquerably frustrating the minds of women and driving down the self-esteem of many women across the country. This dilemma is being experienced not only in major cities like Atlanta, Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles, but also in smaller cities across America. The movie ‘Soulmates’ highlights many successful African-American women who have achieved success from an academic and professional standpoint, but yearn deeply to find the missing puzzle piece who may have been passed by during the process of pursuing greatness. Whose fault is it? You have done all that was asked in order to position yourself as a ‘good thing’ to be found as referenced in Proverbs 18:22. Whose fault is it? Being ashamed of achieving academic excellence in a time when men are unable to keep pace is displeasing. Whose fault is it? Having goals and dreams should not penalize you from experiencing the full-life you were taught to pursue. Is it your fault? I say absolutely not!

How does a woman rebound from a twisted perspective induced by today’s society and remain focused on the things in life that truly matter? Can I help you with this? Your breakthrough doesn’t lie in the form of the Oprah Winfrey show, Essence, Ebony or advice from your girlfriends. Your breakthrough will come after you decide to relinquish control of the very things that are not in your power (Matthew 6:33). You may be able to control your personal pursuit of academic excellence. You may be able to control positioning yourself for career opportunities through diligence and dedication. You may be able to control the process of superficially filling the void of marriage through your selfish pursuits. However, you cannot control the love-filled, God-honored, God-ordained union of marriage as described in Scripture because it is a GIFT arranged, orchestrated and confirmed by the Lord. All hope is not lost in your pursuit! You just have to shift your focus, take your hands off of the steering wheel and relinquish control back to the One who can change your life situations.

Devotional - Grace and Mercy

Below is a devotional written by a Chat Kafe contributor...


I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and it was explained that they felt at though God has forgotten about them. I can honestly say that I have had those same feelings from time to time and have had to go back a trace my steps to figure out why I was feeling that way. God places us in situations to show His strength. Not sure what message it was I heard, but the preacher was saying when you are at your weakest point the enemy should beware and watch out. God show out when we are weak so long as we surrender to Him. Had it not been for his grace where would I be was the question I asked myself this morning. Those times when we doubt God, those times when we’re feeling alone are the times we should cry out and seek His face. God’s good grace has sustained us this far, why should it fail us now!

“But as soon as they were at peace, your people again committed evil in your sight, and once more you let their enemies conquer them. Yet, whenever you people turned and cried to you again for help, you listened once more from heaven. In your wonderful mercy, you rescued them many times! You warned them to return to your Law, but they became proud and obstinate and disobeyed your commands. They did not follow your regulations, by which people will find life if only obey. They stubbornly turned their backs on you and refused to listen. In your love, you were patient with them for many years. You sent your Spirit, who warned them through the prophets. But still they wouldn’t listen! But in your great mercy, you did not destroy them completely or abandon them forever. What a gracious and merciful God you are!” Neh. 9:28-31

Though the problems in our lives seem to come back and if we were serving someone in the world they would have written us off by now. Our friends would get tired of hearing the same old stories and the same issues, but I know I am glad that I serve a God that allows me to come to his throne with the same garbage, the same issues and the same mess to receive his grace in my situation. You have to be willing to seek God and His instruction in whatever difficulty you have in life and be ready to adjust your behavior according to his instruction.

--Anonymous

Diary of a Christian Black Man - The Dilemma

Married and Miserable vs Single and Sexless

Dear Lord,

I have come to the realization that our generation has some serious flaws and gaps as it relates to marriage and dating relationships. I look all around me and notice that the number of failed relationships and marriages seem to dwarf the number of positive relationships and marriages. Why is that Lord? Is it because black men decide that marriage doesn't seem worth the headache after having already committed? Is it because the number of men and women coming from stable two-parent households has pretty much become non-existent? Is it because black men like myself wait so long to consider marriage that selfish habits and ways settle in as roadblocks against our desire for marital bliss? Is it because many of the women we seem to attract give us the full experience of marriage-like privileges without the need for a ring or commitment?

As a black man, the options for evaluating the God-sent ONE seem to be numerous in quantity, but scarce in quality. The options appear in many shapes and sizes...they are Christian and Non-Christian, they represent various professions and educational backgrounds...and possess many skills and gifts. However, there is no amount of money, no level of beauty or no gift outside of Your love that can replace being blessed with THE ONE You have chosen for me.

My boy asked me to name the number of married couples between the ages of 25 and 40 years of age whose marriages I would model mine after. I couldn't really even answer the question with optimism, but came up with a very short list of individuals. Unfortunately, in the requested age group I can name way more couples who are married and miserable. Maybe I am focusing too myopically! My sad reality is married and miserable has become the unfortunate face of what bachelors like myself have in our presence to contaminate our thinking. If marriage is so good, then why are so many people trying to get out? Why do so many married people seem married and miserable? Has the enemy's selfishness crept in to disrupt what You have created as good? Do men and women stick around simply because they have become numb to their unhappiness? Why are single black women the only ones who seem gung ho about marriage? Is it because they've never tasted it before and once they do...the excitement will dissipate? Hmmmm....

The other alternative is to remain single and sexless. The Word of God speaks against premarital sex and preaches abstinence unless you begin to burn. Awwww dang...that's not the alternative I want to pursue long-term! Let me reflect and be realistic...I've had enough sex during my teenage, college and early adult years to last a lifetime so will I really miss it? Lord all I can say is please deliver me from me :). I don't want to become consumed by this season of life because each year of singleness adds to the already constructed wall of self-consumption in my life. Single and sexless...well this does allow me time to focus without the cloud of emotional entanglement associated with unauthorized sexual relationships. Lord You deserve so much more and at the end of the day it's not about me, but ultimately about giving You glory! I haven't received confirmation on a lifetime of singleness from You so I will continue developing myself, continue pursuing relationships and following You for my direction on marriage.

Prayer
Lord I seek to discover the purpose that you have for my life and pray and trust that you have included the marriage chapter that I desire so much. Allow me to surround myself with positive married role models that can help mentor me as I seek to explore that area of my life. I thank You for providing my parents and grandparents as role models for marriage. Despite what goes on around me I can always look home for the structure that is outlined in Your Word. Lord now I know You want to know if I'm willing to give up all I have for You? Lord I know You want to know if I'm willing to go places that may be uncomfortable? Lord I know You want to know if I'm willing to lay prostrate and worship you unashamedly and unconditionally? Well Lord the answer to all of Your aforementioned questions is YES YES YES!

4 Mistakes Women Make in Relationships

Here is an interesting perspective shared by a Chicago Pastor.

Chicago, IL (BlackNews.com) - In his first cover story for a national magazine, 33-year-old Pastor Patrick Shaffer speaks candidly about some of today's most pressing social issues. Featured in the October/November issue of Being Single magazine, the divorced Pastor of Chicago's City of Faith Christian Church openly discussed his effort to fight AIDS in the Black community and what he sees as the top 4 mistakes many women make in relationships.

While most Christian churches subscribe to the ideology that single Christians should not engage in sex before marriage, Pastor Patrick doesn't whole-heartedly agree with the traditional school of thought:

"Abstinence is the first verse of a whole song," Shaffer told Being Single. "With the majority of my congregation being women, I cannot preach a message that's strictly abstinence only. I believe it would be irresponsible to ignore the reality of people's lives and the HIV/AIDS statistics in our community," he said.

In the article, Shaffer says the Church has "blood on its hands" regarding the AIDS crisis due to the fact that it has "failed to have bold and courageous conversations about sex and sexuality."

On the issue of relationships, Shaffer told the magazine that there are four mistakes women often make:
1.) They see relationships as the answer to all their problems.
2.) They usually give up too much too soon, such as sex, money and their hearts.
3.) They get involved with men who are not their equal believing they can change them.
4.) Too many women exude a poor self-image. According to Pastor Patrick, "When a woman doesn't see herself as valuable, she will attract like-minded people into her life."

A Do-It-Yourself Guide to a Romantic and Highly Frugal Date Night

Here is an article that I felt was worthy of sharing with the group. Trent provides some ways to date economically!

October 8, 2008 @ 2:00 pm - Written by Trent

Whenever I talk about being married or the six years in which I was dating my wife, people always ask for suggestions on how to put together an interesting, romantic date without blowing a lot of money out on the town.

I’ve been collecting ideas and tips for a while and I’ve come up with some fairly modular options for coming up with a frugal romantic date. Choose one option from the “Dinner” section and the “Entertainment” section and then top it off with one item from the “Follow-Up” section.

Meal
Most dates usually involve the participants sharing food in some form or another. Many people immediately equate that to eating dinner at some expensive restaurant, and it’s an image that’s constantly perpetuated in pop culture. I invite you to think outside the box a little on this one. Here are six suggestions for doing things just a bit differently - it’ll make you stand out and save you quite a bit of money.

Date and Walnut Pie and Ice Cream by kspoddar on Flickr!Just eat dessert instead of a full meal Instead of going out to dinner, go out for dessert - it’s cheaper, can be a big change of pace from the usual dinner routine, and can show that you’re not uptight and trying to create some generic “perfect” date.

Prepare a home-cooked meal There’s a certain intimacy and care that comes from preparing a meal for your date. Dining in someone’s home, eating the food that they’ve worked on, introduces a connection that can’t be replicated in a restaurant. Plus, a wise food preparer can make a delicious meal without a strong financial cost. If you don’t know what you’re doing in the kitchen, stick with something simple - make a simple pasta dish, like spaghetti with a tomato basil sauce along with a salad.

Have a night picnic Another option that my wife and I used to do regularly in our dating days is to simply pack a picnic basket and eat outdoors together. Often, we’d do this at night, preferably out in the country, where we could lean back on our picnic blanket, look up at the stars, and talk about life.

Go to a community festival An evening at a community festival can often be a good way to not only entertain yourself for the evening, but eat on the cheap as well. You can often get a very inexpensive taste of local cultural fare, see a lot of interesting free events, and also have ample opportunity to talk and get to know each other better.

Use Restaurant.com or an Entertainment Book to find a strong discount on a dinner out You can often find heavily discounted gift certificates to restaurants using tools like Restaurant.com, Entertainment Books, local newspapers, and so on. Before you even consider taking your partner out on the town, do the research first and save yourself some significant coinage if you do decide to go out to eat.

Go to an “off the beaten path” place Another tactic for a cheap dinner date is to go to an unusual place far off the beaten path. My wife and I used to love to frequent small ethnic restaurants during our college and early professional years, where the two of us could eat an enormous, delicious ethnic meal for less than $10 - beverages and all.

Entertainment
But what else are you going to do on this date? Dinner’s fun, but going out on the town can be expensive, as can going out for a movie. Not only do they cost money, they can make for pretty boring and repetitive dates. Instead, why not save yourself some money and also step outside the box a little bit for something different? Here are thirteen options to do just that.

Go for a walk in an exciting place … or a romantic place In almost every community, there are areas that have a certain special flavor. Perhaps you have an area that’s particularly romantic at night - fountains, nice views, and some seclusion from noise and bustle. Or perhaps there’s an area with a very lively street culture that turns almost into a festival each night when the lights go down, with people performing in the street and interesting things going on everywhere. Just go for a walk in such an interesting place and enjoy the environment together.

Teach something Is there a skill you’ve acquired that the person you’re dating would love to learn? Spend the date teaching it in a safe and friendly way. Perhaps you’ve got martial arts experience and your date would like to learn some basic self-defense. Perhaps you’re a skilled painter and your partner’s always wanted to pick up a brush. Maybe you’re good with mechanics and your date has always wanted to know how to change the oil in a car. Instead of doing a typical date, teach your date how to do something. It’s intimate, special, and something your date’s not likely to forget.

Have a movie night You don’t even have to go out and rent one. Just mine the DVDs or VHS tapes that either of you own and watch something. Watch your date’s favorite movie - or your own. Have each of you pick out one and watch them both. Watch one you both know very well with the director’s commentary turned on. Pop some popcorn and kick back.

Go to a playground Seriously. Go to a playground in the late evening. Go on the swings. Slide down the slide. Spin on the merry-go-round. It’s a great way to reconnect with your childhood and spontaneously share that with your date.

Go to a place personally important to you This is a great thing to do if you’re starting to genuinely become close to your date and build a string relationship. Just take your date to a place genuinely important to you. Visit your parents, perhaps. Maybe just show your date where you grew up. Take your date to the spot where you spent countless hours reading during your teen years. Take your date to that old pasture out in the country where you used to go on picnics when you were little. Talk about it - open up a little.

Play board games My wife and I do this all the time after the kids go to bed. We just get out a bottle of wine, pour each of us a glass, and play a board game - Scrabble, Puerto Rico, Princes of Florence, Carcassonne, Power Grid, Acquire, or something else. We talk about our day while also hunkering down and really thinking about the game in front of us. It’s a great way to spend an evening and if you’ve already got the game in the closet, it’s basically free.

Go to the beach A nice long walk on the beach provides a great opportunity to get to know each other better in a quiet, peaceful setting. A rocky beach can provide a great opportunity to skip rocks together on the surf, or you can just sit on the sand, sharing stories and truths.

Go for a hike This can be a great activity for a weekend date during the day. Go hiking in a beautiful park area near you, walking to beautiful and secluded natural areas and enjoying the endorphins that the exercise brings forth in you.

Go on a “wandering walk” Another interesting thing to do along these lines is to simply go out your front door and walk in a random direction. If you happen to live in an interesting neighborhood, this can be very interesting, indeed. You can discover interesting things in your own neighborhood together with your date.

Volunteer together If your date has a social consciousness, you can often make an interesting date out of participating in a volunteer activity. One of the first dates I had with my wife was working as a volunteer at a youth lock-in - it was quite fun and it provided a great opportunity for the two of us to get to know each other while also providing a good time for youths.

Go to a poetry, book reading, or lecture Many libraries and other public places will have free public poetry or book readings in the evenings and these can provide intellectually meaty material to share with a date. College campuses are a great place to look for speakers on all topics as well.

Go on a brewery or winery tour This is another great option, particularly for an afternoon spent together. Many breweries and wineries will let you tour their facilities for free and will often cap it with a free sampling of their products. It’s a great way to spend an afternoon - my wife and I do this whenever we get the chance, actually.

Visit a museum, zoo, or historical site in your community Most communities have many such resources that are open to the public, often for free and sometimes open in the evenings, too. Take advantage of it - go take in some of the more interesting cultural aspects of the area in which you live.

Follow-Up
Many people follow up on a date with a simple phone call, which is fine, but you can really stand out (in a good way) with just a bit more effort - but not more money.

Follow through on something from the date If you pledged something during your date (like loaning a book or finding some old pictures), keep it in mind and make an effort to follow through with it. Then use that item as an opportunity to touch base with your date - and perhaps secure another one.

Drop off a handwritten note A simple blank notecard that says that you were just thinking of your date and how much you enjoyed it is a great way to keep the communication going in a personal way that only costs pennies.

Hand-pick some flowers When I was in college, I picked some fresh flowers in a field the day after a date, tied them together, and left them at my date’s door with a little note thanking her for a wonderful evening and a note to call me. That’s a lot more effective and personal than sending a note on Facebook. This is also a good way to start off a date as well.

Good luck with your romance! Just remember, it doesn’t have to kill your pocketbook.

Reality Check of Life

A common theme in our modern-day society is romance and love have both faded away. Why? Because people are now too busy to care about anyone else but themselves. Why is this detrimental? Because the love that once solidified the household of our grandparents has now been traded-in for 12-hour workdays, quarterly bonus checks and promotions. It's no wonder why many of our households are falling apart in the midst of a time when togetherness, family and love should be cherished at an all-time high. Am I guilty? You bet I am! It has taken some recent episodes and situations in my life to recognize that life is passing me by and I am still consumed by many of the same 'things' that consumed me 5 years ago.

I find myself so busy with the cares of the world that I am blind to the opportunities God is placing in my path to move forward with His purpose for my life. Is this a bad thing? Not really. I would only consider it detrimental if I never came to myself in this God-illuminated reality. I praise God for His illuminating power!

I personally desire love, marriage and family just like the majority of the people I counsel and minister to regularly. One of my mentors advised me to pour into the areas that I want to see grow and starve the areas I would like to see fade away. I will definitely put that advice into practice from this day forward :).

I would like to offer the same advice to you. If you desire certain things in life, then pray, plan and position yourself around people who can help you reach your goals. Life is too short to waste precious time (James 4:14) and not take advantage of the opportunities placed in your path.

What is it that you desire? How bad do you want it? Has God given you clearance to pursue it? Do you have people in your corner who can help you achieve it?

Too Close For Comfort?

Here is your workplace topic of the week...

Each of us have ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends from our past who we still have associations with in some capacity. Many of my friends feel very uncomfortable knowing that their current girlfriends maintain contact with past boyfriends. What happens when an argument takes place and the ex serves as a comforter? Is this a case of too close for comfort?

- When you approach new relationships, is it proper to maintain associations with your ex's?
- What boundaries should be put in place to ensure relationship integrity is maintained?

Daily Bible Verse

Enter Relationships at Your Own Risk

Jesus is the supreme example of living without fear of being disappointed by others: "He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave.... He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death - even to death on a cross" (Philippians 2:7-8).

Disappointed and hurt people sometimes find it difficult to move onto new relationships. This is a direct result of being hurt by someone who was able to break through the brick wall often erected by someone who has had a bad past experience. Should disappointment and hurt detour us from pursuing future relationships and opening ourselves up to people in the future? Of course not! Remember…all people in their humanity have the ability to disappoint and hurt others because no one is perfect. We should never operate with a spirit of fear towards relationships because that is contrary to what God wants for our lives. Let’s face it…all people, even Christians can be rude, uncouth, obnoxious, and sometimes downright disgusting. After experiencing heartbreak we as unmarried adults may even be tempted to display signs on our desks that say "Enter relationships at your own risk."

Forgive my sarcasm, but I am not naïve enough to believe Christians and non-Christians are incapable of hurting others! What are we supposed to do when we know that a move toward another relationship exposes us to the risk of being disappointed? We move forward in love which is easy to say, but definitely difficult to do. Making ourselves vulnerable to hurt and disappointment is frightening, but this has to happen if we are to love as we are loved.

Mature Christians are those who are willing to look fully into the face of hurt and disappointment and feel it, knowing that because they do, they will come to a deeper awareness that no one can comfort the heart like Jesus Christ. In the presence of such pain, one more easily sees the uselessness of every attempt to find solace in one's own independent strategies. Facing and feeling the pain of disappointment underlies more than anything else the gripping truth that only in God can we trust.

Relationship Tip – October 8, 2008

A good relationship match is when two seemingly ‘good’ people come together and pursue a relationship with one another. However, a God relationship match is when God brings two people together for His glory, and helps each of them reach their God-ordained purpose. Two ‘good’ people coming together does not automatically mean a successful relationship. Just because someone is a ‘good’ person doesn’t mean that he/she is ‘good’ for you. Be careful to not only seek out the ‘good’ person for your life, but also make sure he/she is the God sent person for your life.

For Better or For Worse

'Tis the season for marital issues in the lives of a few close friends. When the stresses of life intertwine with the intimate interaction of marriage, it is very easy to see how relationships can begin to experience strain. The covenant of marriage states that marriage is for better or for worse, but how many people actually look forward to persevering through the second part of that statement? Enjoying the ‘better’ part of relationships is the easy part. However, it's amazing how two people can get along harmoniously for weeks or months at a time, but short-term interruptions in this flow of harmony can cause two people to reconsider. Unfortunately, many people become lured by the ‘better’ clause of the covenant statement, but fail to really understand the ‘worse’ clause of the covenant statement.

I now know why the courtship process is so important in assessing the potential reality of two people becoming one through marriage. Courtship allows two individuals to go through an ongoing set of real life interviews to determine if they right for one another. Unfortunately, courtship in the eyes of some is seen as a race for the altar. However, in the attempt to race for the altar many lose sight of the little things that can cause problems later. A wise man once said that you shouldn’t rush a person to the altar with the intent on altering them. When assessing a potential mate for marriage, a person must realize a man or woman isn’t like a pair of jeans, shoes or jacket that can be returned to a store in exchange for money back. You have to be willing to accept the person that stands across from you for who they are on your wedding day for better and for worse. If the person you marry is a cheater, then you must be open to the fact that he/she may continue cheating. If the person you marry is selfish, then you must be open to the reality that he/she may continue being selfish. If the person you marry is materialistic, then he/she may continue being materialistic. You marry both the good and the bad in a person. Also, understand that marriage will magnify the shortcomings in person. You have to come to accept a person for who they are in their entirety.

Men and women are free-willed individuals who think, behave and operate according to where they are in life. God is the only one capable of changing a person’s heart, desires and behavior. God accepts all of us in our humanity for better and for worse, so as believers we should follow in His footsteps and do the same.

Man (or woman) in the mirror

Sorry for the delay in posting another blog topic. I’ve taken some time for personal reflection in order to identify the kinks or areas for improvement in my personal armor.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, I have identified some ‘stuff’ inside of me that needs to be purged in order to achieve the ultimate personal happiness and satisfaction in life. In my BC (aka before Christ) days I often struggled with looking at everything from a myopic perspective, which simply means that I was selfish :). Due to my current life schedule inclusive of work, ministry, relationship and school, this trait has become even more noticeable. I am now forced to acknowledge the man who I now see in the mirror. The good thing is I now recognize my shortcomings. The bad thing is I may lose some things in the process :).

Workplace topic of the day…

When is the last time you took a look at the man/woman in the mirror? What did you notice?