Relationship Tip - 07/24/08

My pastor preached a message this past Sunday on managing conflict. While meditating on the message, a very important relationship tip was revealed to me.

"It is very difficult to have a true and validated relationship without learning how to overcome adversity and conflict."

The reason many relationships fail and marriages end in divorce, is based on the inability of two people to resolve conflict. The more I think about the process of dating, courting, engagement and marriage, the more I am an advocate of experiencing the four seasons of relationship.

I will do a future post providing a more in depth look at each of the seasons listed below.

Season 1 Infatuation - Usually at the beginning of a relationship when everything seems like Utopia.
Season 2 Reality Check - Usually follows the season of infatuation. Reality check occurs when you begin to see the person for who they really are.
Season 3 Adversity - This season can occur at any point in a relationship. Adversity is experienced when job loss, death, financial stresses and difference in views start to surface. Overcoming the season of adversity is very critical in the success of relationships.
Season 4 Status Quo - This is the season where things seem to remain the same within the relationship. Status Quo can be good if things are in synch with two people or can be bad if two people aren't seeing eye to eye.

These seasons can occur in any order, but most relationships experience these in some form. I would be extremely careful about declaring victory in your relationships until you have experienced the full cycle of these seasons.