Dating Dilemma – Part 2

As I continue through my series on the dating dilemma, I would like to take a look at dating through the eyes of men. Unfortunately, men are the scapegoats when it comes to the dating dilemma, but I’d like to offer-up my support for the men. Men within the church face some very unique challenges when it comes to dating.

1) The Ratio of Women to Men – Unfortunately, the one aspect that is embellished by men all over America can also serve as a detriment. It’s sort of like a kid in a candy or toy store, too many options can impede the ability to make a decision (I won’t chase this rabbit, but it’s tempting). Too many options make it difficult for men to observe and truly collect the data important for making solid dating/relationship decisions. What is the typical result of a man having too many options? A man who has trouble making a decision and/or making a commitment. Until a man recognizes that there will always be more beautiful, sexy, intelligent women out there, he will continue waiting for the perfect woman, who rarely surfaces.

2) Identifying the Best Approach – Many men get this wrong and it usually shatters their confidence for future opportunities.

Here is a list of the wrong times to approach a woman for dating inquiries:
a. Before service begins on the way into the doors of the church. There is nothing worse for a woman than being interrupted on her way into the house of the Lord in order to receive a Word from God.
b. During the middle of service by way of a note written on the back of the church program. What are you here for? This isn’t your high school history class, so please pay attention to the preacher and the message. If a woman thinks you are attractive, you ruin it when you pull this foolishness.
c. At the altar when the pastor or minister is praying for the congregation. Please don’t try this! I’ve seen it attempted and it provides an awkward experience for everyone who witnesses it.

Here are some more opportune times to approach a woman in order to express your interest:
a. After church service is over and people are socializing in the hallways, parking lot or sanctuary. This is a great way to obtain informal information about a person you may be interested in. Take advantage of the informal opportunities for fellowship with your church brothers and sisters.
b. During a church fellowship where the environment is a little more relaxed and the traditional social barriers are removed. Church fellowships are a healthy alternative to the club life and prove to be more fulfilling long-term. Healthy church fellowships can remove the tainted taste of smoke filled clubs, strip clubs and gatherings that typically lead to a path of unrighteousness.
c. While serving in ministry. There is no better way to learn about a potential interest, than by serving with her in ministry. I cannot speak directly for Christ, but I imagine He would smile down on His children serving together in ministry while also developing a long-term relationship.

3) Making a Good Choice – Many men have experienced this hard fact. In the church body, a lot of women run in similar circles. As a result, if a man has his eye on more than one woman who may be friends, runs the risk of blackballing himself if he selects the one who he isn’t compatible with. The only way to avoid finding yourself in this predicament is to sit back and observe the behavior of the women you have an interest in. Based on a more thorough observation you can better assess the woman you may have more in common with, etc.

Overall, dating is a very challenging process and one most men get wrong. Hopefully, the tips above provide some insight on how to better position you for successful opportunities. In the end, God is sovereign, and He will position you to meet the one He has in store for you in His timing. Amen!