Different Commitment Levels

Workplace topic of the week...

I have recently noticed people are remaining in relationships and experiencing turbulence because of differing commitment levels by both parties.

Can two people with different levels of commitment operate in a relationship together?

If so, what are some of the challenges they will face? If not, how should they address their situation?

How Far is Too Far?

Freelance Friday features a young woman who has some advice for anyone trying to figure out How Far is Too Far???

By: 7-years Holding On :)

Being a single, celibate woman (seven years) is not easy. It does not present you with many long-term relationships. When I think about dating BC and compare it to dating AD my concerns are completely different. I now find myself sitting and waiting for the undesired moment when the man sitting next to me finally makes his move and pounces on me like a panther.

I know it is coming…just not sure when.
It may start with a simple, seemingly innocent gesture like holding hands on date #4…But I know it is coming!
It may progress to a seemingly innocent gesture like me laying my head on his shoulder on date #7.
Yet…I wait, because I know it is coming.
It is date #12 and he has been a perfect gentleman…so far…maybe he is different?
But yet and still…I wait…because it is coming….
Sadly, history has a way of repeating itself…
So, here I go….once again…having to have a talk about celibacy, morals, character and obedience with another brother-in-Christ
Oh well. Another one bites the dust.

You may ask why I would start off with this story. The answer is to simply say “when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death…spiritually.” Don’t get me wrong I am not a male basher. Women… we must admit that men are not always the ones stirring up sexual tension in relationships. We definitely play our part. Unfortunately, like me many singles have to live and suffer through the consequences of having previously engaged in fornication. The result of previous sin is….current frustration!

My spiritual desire is to live a holy and pure life and abstain from sex until marriage, but my flesh has a different agenda. So, which will I/you choose to obey?

It is not merely enough to say “I am not having sex until I get married.” You must devise a plan and set rules to ensure that you do not fall prey to sexual immorality. So ask yourself the question: how far is too far?

I am currently in year seven of celibacy and guess what…..seven is rough. So I continue to revise my plan, because what was acceptable in year six …just might lead to trouble in seven.

So, how far is too far?
Can we hold hands? I don’t know… can you without it leading to sexual immorality?
Can we cuddle? I don’t know… can you without it leading to sexual immorality?
Can we kiss? I don’t know… can you without it leading to sexual immorality?
Can we lie on separate sides of the bed and go to sleep? Play with fire you eventually get burned!

Sin is progressive. Don’t give way to compromise….compromise will lead you into a compromising situation. Satan wants to sift you like wheat and prove you unfaithful to God. I can say that in seven years I have had a couple of close calls, which forced me to devise a plan of action.

I always say that “the right touch and the wrong moment can cause any single Christian to fall prey to sexual sin.” Know your limitations and boundaries and stay within them….well within them.

So, how far is too far?
Has your conscience been seared to the point that you can go as far as you like without conviction? If so, you have a serious problem.
Has your conscience been seared to the point where things that previously convicted you do not seem to bother you anymore? If so, you are standing on shaky ground.

SIN PROGRESSES
Know your weaknesses…I know mine.
I did not make it seven years because I am strong or lack sexual desires. I made it because I know that I am weak, which forces me to rest in the arms of my Heavenly Father and obey the Holy Spirit.
FLEE FORNICATION!!!! I have had to RUN! Run Forest, Run!

I have not had to run many times, but I will take flight if needed. As I sit here I think back to one of my close calls and laugh at my stupidity. Thank God the TV was on because I was not hearing the Holy Spirit at all that night. At the very moment that I even paid remote attention to the TV the sitcom was showing a church group singing a song that said “Abstain, abstain, abstain.” HILARIOUS…right! God definitely has a sense of humor. He was trying to keep his silly, weak fleshed child from making a horrible decision. I sit here and thinking about that silly TV show singing that silly song at the moment that I was about to make a silly decision. And if it were not for that, my testimony today would probably be different.

As I wrap it up I would like to leave you with some advice….abstain, abstain, abstain.

Proverbs 1:10 (New American Standard Bible)10My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.

1 Corinthians 6:17-19 (King James Version)
17But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.
18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."

James 1:13-15 (New American Standard Bible)
13Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.
14But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
15Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

Art Of Being Single

By JoAnn Scaife

Have you ever considered your life of singleness as a piece of art? Most singles view singleness as a curse, or do not view it at all. Some just absolutely do not want to discuss it. Well, we want to challenge you to think differently this year by taking the time out and really viewing where you are as a single person, beginning with looking at your life as a gift and a piece of art.

Let’s pause a minute and look at this concept, “singleness as a piece of art,” from an artist view.

Singleness as a piece of art is simply viewing singleness through the eyes of a true artist and his masterpiece. Applying this concept to singleness, I want to take you through four important parts that contribute to creating a painting, 1) a blank canvas, which represents you and your beginning or coming into the world and the mind, 2) the sketch, which represents influences of parents and surroundings, 3) colors, which represents life experiences, and finally 4) the painting or masterpiece, which represents your life expression.

Firstly, let’s look at the blank canvas, which simply represents the beginning of ones life. Each of us was brought into this world for a purpose and reason. We all were conceived in our mother’s womb and supernaturally developed by God. We all have been given the gift to breath the breathe of God daily in this life. In the womb we were imputed with specific gifts and abilities to fit each person. Slowly as we become in the world and experience our atmospheres and the different surroundings we begin to learn and develop our individual make up which contributes to and defines the blank canvas.Then the actual concept of the painting is then developed and thought out as we grow.

Second, the sketch is made with our parents and surroundings- daily influences; painting daily the way we walk, talk, and react to our world. Taking the best parts of our lives and painting them on the canvas of our mind. Every stage of life we are creating a painting with our lives. Individually we slowly develop the gifts and talents that were given and try to discover purpose. As we discover, gradually, we live it out.

Living it out clearly represents the third part, the colors of life experiences, defeats and wins. Each color represents some experience in life that we embrace and form into the painting. Yes, you choose the colors to develop the masterpiece, which represents your life. Then finally, life becomes a drawing or painting of experiences both good and bad.

When faced with each step of each day the discovery question is, “what type of painting are we creating with our lives?” Is the painting of your life one that is going to enhance your life and others or will it draw others away? We all should strive to paint the best picture we can with our lives, because with each step and stroke, we have been created for a reason and to lead someone else to their right path and masterpiece. Then eventually match up with the right individual created for us.

The whole reason for taking a look at this concept is because as you review your life, you should realize that God is the the true artist and the one who develops your painting or life masterpiece.

So think outside the box this year about your singleness and begin to view it as a piece of art, continually sketching it out daily. You will then discover that singleness at this time is a gift. A gift to discover who you are and what type of gift you have become to the one that will receive.

**JoAnn Scaife is the Director/Campus Minister/ Ministerial Specialist for TSU and Fisk University of Tennessee Baptist Convention and an Music entrepreneur in Nashville, TN.

Sleepless in Atlanta!!

Workplace topic of the week...


The following scenario can happen to anyone who makes a move from one city to another due to a job change, pursuit of a new career or desire for a fresh start. What happens when you make a major move from a place where you have family, a close circle of friends and a sense of normalcy, to a place where you have to operate independently because no family is nearby and all friends are out of state? How do you make the adjustment to a large city like Atlanta, Chicago, New York or LA when you pretty much have to start all over? This is a scenario submitted to me by one of my blog readers. I would like to solicit feedback from those who have gone through a similar experience. Please provide your comments and recommendations.

6 Steps to a Non-sexual Relationship

Welcome to Freelance Friday. Below is an awesome article written by Coach Yvonne, The Single Woman's Cheerleader. Check it out!



Let's talk about sex baby,
Let's talk about you and me,
Let's talk about all the good things, And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex. Salt n Pepa

I don't know about you but being a Christian does not erase sexual temptation from my world. Because God created this incredible gift that is only to be opened in marriage, the devil is going to do everything he can to make us disobey and these days, he doesn't have to work too hard. We live in a sex crazed world where sex is used to sell everything including burgers at Carl's Jr. Have you seen those racy commercials? Why are we using sex to sell burgers? And have you seen the ads for KY Jelly? They're equivalent to soft porn. Where do we draw the line? Babies used to be made during "Midnight Love, The Quiet Storm and Kissing After Dark" but nowadays, you can turn on your radio and make a baby while listening to the early morning show. Sex is everywhere and in everything; you can't get away from it. Movies, magazines and media are all driven by sex. I don't care if you go to sleep speaking in tongues and wake up speaking in tongues, sexual temptation is real. So, how does a single Christian say no to sex while getting to know the opposite sex? By following my 6 recommendations below:

Date someone who is on the same page with you in the same book. What does this mean? It means you should only date a man that has the same conviction and belief as you do about sex before marriage. If you date a man that thinks its okay to engage in heavy petting, passionate kissing and oral sex, this is not the man for you. You want a man who wants to cross the finish line in complete victory not a man who is okay with compromise and says, "At least we're not having sex." When I dated Chris who had been celibate for 3+ years, he came to the table with his own set of boundaries and he came ready to hold me accountable to our mutual agreement of no sex before marriage. As a result, we never went anywhere near the line of sexual intercourse. He fiercely protected our relationship from any form of sexual sin and we were victorious. You want to date a man that is going to fiercely protect your relationship while holding himself and you accountable to God's standards.

Know your hot buttons. If you've had sex before, I'm sure you are fully aware of what turns you on and stimulates you sexually. Even if you haven't had sex, I'm sure you've been physically intimate on some level with the opposite sex. Kissing is cool for some while for others it's the prelude to sex. Holding hands is cool for some while for others its not so cool. We're all grown folks capable of making our own decisions but if you asked me, I would stay away from continued bouts of passionate kissing. Sometimes all it takes is one kiss and you're off the mark. Be honest with yourself and your partner about what you can/cannot handle.

Be smart. "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?" The answer is no. Don't put yourself in compromising situations. Hugged up on the couch late at night watching Love Jones is not the best idea. None of us is that great or that strong to think we can play with fire and not get burned. Don't set yourself up to fall and you won't fall.

Be honest. Talk about your feelings w/your partner. If you're feeling tempted or having a challenge w/self control, talk about it. Your partner may be doing something unconsciously to trigger that temptation or he/she may be going through the same thing. The more you talk about it, the closer you become and the deeper the level of communication grows between you.

Shift your focus. Instead of focusing on not having sex, how about shifting your focus to honoring God as you date? The more you focus on not doing something (not having sex, not holding hands, not kissing and basically not being human), don't be surprised at how quickly your clothes leave your body the first time you get close to the opposite sex. It's like going on a restrictive diet of not eating sweets, not eating carbs, not having a glass of wine and any other thing on your list of not's. As soon as no one is looking-I guarantee you will eat a whole bag of sweets or loaf of bread or drink a bottle of wine. Once honoring God becomes our focus, our actions fall in line and the Holy Spirit will equip us with boundaries and steps to ensure that we stay on track.

Stay close to God. The closer I get to God the harder it is to sin and break his heart. I equate my relationship with God to a relationship with a dear friend; the more time I spend with that friend, the more I want to do things to add happiness to that friends' life. I feel sad and disappointed when I break that friends' heart. If we focus on cultivating this kind of relationship with God, our desire to fornicate will wane and our focus will shift from not having sex to pleasing God.

In her book Passion and Purity, Elisabeth Elliot sums it up perfectly, "A man's love for a woman ought to hold him to the highest standard. Her love for him ought to do the same. There should be accountability from both parties to ensure that lines are not crossed. Love means following the commands of God. This means trying every day to do what he says to do not to do what he says not to do. There are things to be aimed at and things to be shunned."

Something to think about!

Coach Yvonne Chase
The Single Woman’s Cheerleader
Available and Happy = Hitched and Happy
http://www.availableandhappy.com
877-7-RELATE (773-5283)

Compatibility Questions - Part 2

As promised, there are some additional compatibility questions that one should consider when evaluating a potential lifemate. Please don't minimize the importance of these questions as they could lead to conflict down the road in your relationship.

Consider the following:

1) Will one or both of you work when you start having kids?

2) Who will retain primary responsibility for managing the checkbook and household finances?

3) Does your potential mate allow his/her family to become too involved in your relationship? If so, are you willing to deal with this for a lifetime?

4) Does your potential mate allow his/her friends to become too involved in your relationship? If so, are you willing to deal with this for a lifetime?

I pray that the compatibility questions shared above will help prevent potential roadblocks in your relationship!

KP

The Waiting Room

Here is an article that I think will bless all of the women who are unmarried, but desire to be married one day.


I want to write to encourage the ladies who like me are in the Waiting Room in life. While we are waiting we are working, studying, excelling, growing, enjoying life and in anticipation are not able to enjoy marriage. We know it's God's will that we enjoy the best that He has available for us so we wait. We wait...not with arms folded, eyes rolling, not sitting down doing nothing, but we wait... This season is the best season to seek to understand who God is and who we are. Our relationship should be so close that we can hear Him whisper, truly know His voice, character and His word. Our prayer and worship time should be passionate and our concern as Paul said, should be to do the work of the Lord in ministry. While we are waiting we should be searching...not for a man but for understanding.

This is such an encouragement that my husband is en route…he is not late, he is not lost, he was not taken by another. He will come so I don’t have to become impatient or try to make this happen. I can wait in patience and with the right attitude. The Amplified version of Hebrews 10:35-36 says “35 Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. 36 For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.” This encourages me to believe in God and hold on to my trust in His promise concerning my spouse-to-be. My Adam is a reward! The Contemporary English Version of Hab 2:3 says this about waiting for what God has said will come: 3At the time I have decided, my words will come true. You can trust what I say about the future. It may take a long time, but keep on waiting-- it will happen!"

Vision? What has God shown you about your spouse? What word has He spoken about that mate? I asked God many years ago to tell me about my husband. Since He has been very clear, I am not to settle for any less than the one He has already selected, He has given me the strength, confidence and peace to wait for that one! He has revealed so many things about me: my purpose, destiny and ministry while I have been getting to know Him. These things helped me to understand the vision He has shown me of my spouse: not so much the physical but the spiritual, emotional, the character, the important stuff..... I am in the waiting room in this season of life, but I am busy in the Kingdom until God says I am ready and the season has come. Unlike others in this generation, I believe that my Abba Father has pre-destined the best man for me to marry, and now more than ever I trust Him while I wait. It seems like a long time but even a good thing out of season (like a piece of fruit) enjoyable @ first, then more drama follow. Be encouraged while you wait, “For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry.”(Heb 10:37)

--Author Miss Trapp

Relationship Coaching

- Are you tired of experiencing disappointment in your relationships?
- Why continue to invest time in relationships that will never manifest into the healthy long-term relationship you desire?
- Tired of making the same mistakes over and over again?

Consider hiring KP to serve as the relationship coach in your life. All successful people have coaches who help them navigate through various obstacles of life, and the area of relationships is no different. For less than a tank of gas you can be on your way to establishing the framework necessary to build healthy long-term relationships. Contact KP at chatkafe@kennypugh.com for more information.

Compatibility Questions

Workplace topic of the week...

Although there is no 100% guaranteed way of predicting if a relationship will be successful, there are some key factors to consider when interviewing a potential mate. I will provide a list of these compatibility questions over the course of the next week or two.

Please consider these as good starter questions to ponder and evaluate:

1) Do we share the same religious beliefs?

2) Do we share similar family experiences, upbringing and desires (kids vs no kids)?

3) How does my potential mate view and manage finances?

You will never have a firm foundation in your relationship if religion, family views and money management are out of alignment. Differing views on any of the above questions are cause to truly consider pursuing a relationship with your counterpart.

GET MOVING!!!

Welcome to Freelance Friday. Below is an article related to health and fitness that should encourage you to get moving! I hope you enjoy.

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There are so many people living sedentary lives today. This type of inactivity can lead to being overweight or obese and people are dying everyday because of the illnesses that it brings along with it such as diabetes, heart disease, strokes, etc…... This is especially so in the African-American community. There was actually a time when parents would force their kids outside in the hot sweltering sun to play all day long during the summers. Whether you spent summers at your grandparents house in the rural country, or whether you grew up in the city or lived in the suburbs, or you may have simply went to camp every summer. Being outside was a natural part of growing up. Sadly today, there’s not much of that taking place. And as a result, more and more kids are growing up over-weight. These same over-weight kids are growing up to be over-weight parents, teachers, ministers and other positions of leadership which entails being role models for our society. Well, being a role model is not only predicated upon what you say and do but it includes how you look and feel. Remember, before anybody sees what you do and before anybody hears what you say, people see what you look like.

As Christians, we are supposed to teach that our bodies are temples so that they could be used as vessels for God. Well, how can we teach this when there are so many of us are overweight-so obviously harming their bodies by leading non-active lives and embracing bad eating habits? This is clearly not God’s will for our lives. Christ told his disciples “Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28: 19. How can we live out this charge if we are constantly being ailed by sickness and disease due to leading non-active lives? How can we live out the more abundant life that Christ speaks of in John 10:10 when we can’t even get out of bed because we have to be hooked up to a machine to monitor our hearts due to all the damage we’ve done to it. As Christians the way we live our life is supposed to be seen as an extraordinary life. A life where our light shines brightly-this should not only be in spirit but physically as well. Our energy level should be high and exciting. We should always have a song of joy in our hearts! People should look at us and say, “Wow, there’s something different about her/him”. Yes, we all have bad days but no one should ever say, “He/she seems like there’s always something wrong”. I believe a large part of the reason why we feel and look sluggish and tired is because of a lack of physical activity and because we’re putting the wrong foods into our bodies. (Lack of water, fiber, and sleep are other culprits for sluggish behavior). We are God’s masterpiece, marvelously made in his image-why wouldn’t we take care of our bodies the way that God wants us to?

Don’t you think it’s time to make a change in your life today? A change that will not only affect you but the people you come in contact with every day. I’m not only speaking to those of you that may be over-weight but to anyone who may be damaging their bodies by indulging in bad habits such as smoking or excessive drinking. Notice not once in this entire article did I mention exercise or diets (that’s another topic). I’m merely speaking of physical activity, whether it’s taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work, taking your family or friends bicycling around-the-neighborhood, parking further away from the grocery store (during the day of course), going to the pool, joining or starting a walking club, joining a flag-football or softball league, taking a hike with friends, and so many other activities that involve moving your body. God wants us to enjoy life at its fullest and you can’t do that by sitting on the couch everyday. Sisters, if we learned to take care of our bodies the way we take care of our hair, we’d be set!!! (I’m sorry, I had to say it.)

To start this new life it is imperative that we change the way we think about ourselves. We must view ourselves the way God view’s us. He sees us as His precious children set apart from the world. This is not only in spiritual matters but physically and mentally. He wants us to be strong and healthy so that we can live out His purpose and plans for us. (Romans 12:2) Do not let a heart-attack, or stroke or bad news from a doctor’s visit be the catalyst for this change. Take a preventive step now by embracing a healthy and active lifestyle and GET MOVING.

Author--Charmain P. Davis

Been There...Done That!!

Been There...Done That - (Isaiah 53:1-4)

No one is a stranger to sadness,grief, trouble, or depression. Regardless of age, sex, race, economic standing, or educational background we have all encountered upsets in our lives. You may find yourself looking at an infant or a child and reminisce on the carefree days of your youth, then breathe a silent prayer for the next generation.

Many of us in the body of Christ have settled into an abyss of grief and pain and have decided to embrace the mantra of "that's life". There is no cure for a virus. One must allow it to run it's course and treat the symptoms. There are those who have concluded that there is no cure for everyday woes and we should just deal with the hand we are dealt until things get better. I beg to differ. In Isaiah 53, God gives us a picture of His suffering servant. This chapter is the prophecy of Christ's coming spoken through Isaiah. Not only is His physical existence displayed, but His emotional turmoil and physical abuse is illustrated. The chapter concludes with purpose, victory, and reward. Isaiah 54 then opens with declarations of encouragement, what I like to call a "shake yourself" declaration.

God is NOT surprised by our sufferings. He knew what we would encounter before we were born. He knows the end from the beginning and all points in between. Before we encounter the problem, God already has the solution. The solution? Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior!

So then, how do we get beyond the symptoms and embrace the cure? You must know that:

1. Christ has the credentials to cure your calamities. (Isaiah 53: 3-5,7 and Hebrews 4:14,15)
2. Christ is concerned about what concerns you; He cares! (1 Peter 5:7)
3. Christ closed the case on your crisis. (Isaiah 53:11 and John 10:10)

As pilgrims in this barren land we will experience sadness, grief, etc. However we do not have to be overtaken by them. Jesus already paid the price! John 16:33 says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Rejoice my brothers and sisters knowing that Jesus understands our struggles and pains. He's been there, done that!

--Author KG

Is Your Credit Marriage-Worthy?

As a minister and relationship consultant to unmarried adults, I find it very interesting when I come across individuals (men and women) who feel as though they are truly ready for relationship and become consumed by the desire. The first question I typically ask is, “Have you, or are you continuing to develop yourself in all areas (spiritual, physical, social and financial) of life?” The initial response to this question is usually a resounding YES! However, there is often one stone left unturned that many of us hide from, neglect or ignore…CREDIT. Finances are a big reason for the failure of relationships and marriages after the glamour of the wedding and sex have worn off. When two individuals come together they inherit the financial and credit history of their mate. What will your mate inherit when they marry you?

Credit is often the big pink elephant in the corner of the room that no one wants to talk about. I am by no means advocating that you pull a copy of someone’s credit report or offer-up your own credit report on the first or second date. However, I do encourage you to begin working on your credit during your unmarried season and during the early part of courtship. You need to understand your current credit standing in order to develop an action plan for cleaning-up and improving your credit rating. Wouldn’t it be embarrassing for you not to assist in the qualification process of obtaining a home or automobile loan because of your credit? Make it a priority to clear up the little items (e.g. $30 past due bill owed to Comcast) on your report and develop an action plan to address any larger items (e.g. $2,000 owed to an apartment complex). Money is the primary excuse many people use to avoid dealing with debt and/or past credit issues. Bishop Bronner (Word of Faith Cathedral) said something very powerful during a seminar I attended and I will share with you as a reader. He mentioned a couple of options to maximize your financial situation:

1) Downsize and downgrade your current lifestyle and spending to accommodate a savings plan. You should never go a month without contributing to a personal savings account. All gurus advocate that you pay yourself first (after God of course :)).
2) Position yourself so your time is more valuable to the market and/or your current employer. Obtain certification, licenses or advanced degrees so employers have to compensate you for your skills/knowledge.
3) Obtain a second job in order to generate additional cashflow to payoff outstanding debt and build a personal savings.

Please use the season that God has you in currently to take care of the little issues that can blossom into big issues when you connect with your lifemate.

5 Steps to Improving Your Credit

1. Start by ordering your credit reports – Visit http://www.annualcreditreport.com or http://www.myfico.com.
2. Examine your reports for errors
3. Dispute and document errors
4. Create a debt elimination plan
5. Add stability to your credit file

If you have really bad credit or even filed for bankruptcy, don't let your credit status go dormant. A secured credit card offers those with no credit and those rebuilding their credit an opportunity to start over and establish a new and solid credit history. Shop around for the best deal available, but limit your applications.

If you have questions or would like assistance going through this process, please visit my credit management website at http://www.integrityconsultinginc.com.

Devotional - 6/10/08

FOR YOU, O LORD, WILL BLESS THE RIGHTEOUS; WITH FAVOR. YOU WILL SURROUND HIM AS WITH A SHIELD. (PSALM 5:12 *NKJV)

In this busy World of ours we often forget to stop and count all of our blessings. If we are not careful we may even take them for granted!

So why not stop and count your blessings today, for when you count them you will find that there are many indeed! Also you will find that counting your blessings is a great way to begin you day!

Now the above verse reminds me of a poem that I very much enjoy. Today I would like to share that poem with you, and it is my hope that you will enjoy it as well!

Your Blessings Are So Many, Lord!

Your blessings are so many, Lord,
To count them one by one
Would take much longer than a day
That has just now begun!

You fill each day with miracles
From dawn to setting sun.
Each night You hear a million prayers
When day's work is done.

You keep this old world spinning
As seasons come and go,
And each one is a masterpiece
That stets our hearts aglow.

You fill the earth with beauty, Lord,
With flowers, shrubs and trees,
And we marvel at Your rainbows
And butterflies and bees.

Your words still give us comfort
For Your promises are true.
Your blessings are so many, Lord,
In everything we do!
Poet, Clay Harrison

Have a wonderful day, and: MAY GOD BE GRACIOUS TO YOU AND BLESS YOU AND MAKE HIS FACE SHINE UPON YOU. Amen. (PSALM 67:1)

In HIS Love & Service,
Pastor Allen

Guidance

Freelance Friday

This is the first installment of Freelance Friday where I will feature the writing or work of a freelance writer. If you or anyone you know has an interest in submitting an article for review, please send to chatkafe@kennypugh.com. Please review this article submitted by Author KLW.
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The culminating event for all students is graduation. Most see this experience as the ultimate validation for the seemingly endless days of hard work. This past month God blessed me with the opportunity to receive an advanced degree. However, like most of us, I was so excited that it was OVER, that I struggled to focus on the keynote speaker address, until he began to list ten things that should be used for guidance (in relation to disease/illness prevention). I began to think about how this list related to my relationship with God and my personal inner struggle with some of the topics discussed in the top ten list.

1. Confidence (Jeremiah 17: 7-8)
I always equate my confidence in God with my faith in Him and His word. Often, we put our confidence in someone or something else and this usually leads to failure, pain, destruction, etc. Through our firm foundation in God's word, we have all the confidence that we need to succeed in life and in all of our endeavors.

2. Explore outside of your comfort zone (Isaiah 40)
I honestly can't take credit for this one...Minister Pugh (KP) has touched on this topic many times! KP has explained that as followers of God we should avoid complacency, be aware that God is with us along our journey, and acknowledge ourselves as one of His chosen people. I think that these three things sum up this topic in a nut shell. Personally, I am somewhat shy, so I often struggle in settings where I am forced to talk to people that I am unfamiliar with. I have prayed about this issue and lately I have been able to walk up to complete strangers and begin a conversation. We must step outside of our comfort zones in church, school, work and other settings.

3. Passion (Romans 5:8)
Christ died for us even though we were and still are sinners. We are all familiar with this verse, and we know that the passion of Christ saved us, but what is your passion. Is it a reflection of Christ or is it a reflection of your own selfish pursuits? In all of our endeavors, we should constantly strive to serve the Lord and further His kingdom.

4. Listen (Exodus 15:26)
Our inability to hear God can come from distractions in our lives (i.e. friends, family, jobs, ourselves). We have to constantly evaluate our lives, worship God at all times, and learn to listen to God for direction in everything. My cousin explained to me that she wants to increase her discernment because people who devote the time to quiet the mind really do discern what God is communicating to them. Meditation can be a form of hearing God's word by expelling the "filler thoughts" that distract us from God's voice.

5. Climb the next mountain (Philippians 4:13)
No one is perfect and we will all have disappointments at some point in our lives. The most important thing is that we get up, brush ourselves off and try again. We must learn to climb the next mountain knowing that God will be there to help us get to the top!

6. Know where you are going (Romans 3:23; Ezekiel 33:11; II Peter 3:9; Acts 2:38)
As Christians, we strive to follow God's word and his commandments so that we can make sure that we have done everything in our power to be blessed with entry into heaven. It is very important for us to know where we are going to spend our eternal lives. We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God so we must repent for our sins, but even more importantly we must recognize God for who He is and what He represents. This requires us to live our lives according to His word and acknowledge our sins.

7. Build a team. ( Proverbs 27:17)
It is extremely important to commune with fellow believers and to form a team of friends you can call on at any moment. In our struggle to become better Christians, we need a support system, or as KP often says, we need our "accountability partners" to help us along our journey and to also keep us going in the right direction.

8. Evidence based decision making
At first, this was a hard point for me to explain, but the more that I thought about it the more it made sense. The Bible illustrates many of the same issues that we are facing today. If we look to God's word, we can find numerous examples of God's saving grace and love for mankind. As a believer, it's still hard to always look to the Bible for answers to my problems, but honestly someone else has already gone through what I'm facing, so why not use the Bible as a guide for evidence based decision making? Just make sure that when using other people's advice that they "know what they are talking about and are people who have earned your respect as a source of wisdom. Then, you need to follow your own heart in light of God's Word and do what you feel is right and good for you" (Joel Osteen).

9. Optimism (Colossians 3:2; 1 Peter 1:13)
A person's level of optimism is directly related to how much faith they have. If someone walks around always thinking that something bad will happen to them, then eventually something terrible will actually happen. The power of positive thinking is real. If you believe that you have God's favor, then God will show up and prove that your faith is not in vain. Something that I have started recently is my affirmation board. The affirmation board is displayed in my room and every morning I reflect on it, pray, and read my daily affirmations. Some of the things that are on my board are: Lord allow me to walk in faith today, Today will be a good day, etc. These sayings allow me to start my day with a positive, optimistic mindset. You should try this, it really works!

10. Persistence (Hebrews 10: 36; Romans 5: 3-5; James 1: 2-4)
In our journey with Christ we need persistence. There are always times when it is so convenient to just give up and go back to our old ways, but we know that our works are not in vain. We must keep going, even when we can't see the end. Persistence goes along with optimism, patience and faith. Although we struggle with our journey, our persistence is the ingredient that constantly gets us over the hump!
I hope that this list has blessed you as much as it has blessed me. These ten bullets are things that I must evaluate in my life constantly so that I can continue on my journey with Christ!

-Author KLW

Can You Afford Not To Forgive? – Part 2

In continuing with the series I started last Thursday, it’s important to realize unforgiveness is a subtle poison that can kill the spirit of the person who is contaminated. When you hold onto something for so long, you oftentimes fail to acknowledge the impact it has over your life. That is why it takes a spiritually mature person to recognize when unforgiveness has a stronghold over their life. Otherwise, it may require an experience/encounter with God or a spiritual accountability partner to help shed light to our situations.

Remember this…forgiveness is God’s way to healing and freedom in our lives. We have to be open to forgive because God forgave us. Recognize the wonderful way God has exercised this in our lives. He forgave us for our sins past, present and future. He forgave us for all transgressions and iniquities. He forgave us before we were ever created. He forgave us for the same hurts that we refuse to release from other people. He forgave us knowing that we would not acknowledge Him in our workplace. He forgave us knowing that we would simulate Christian-like behavior only on Sunday mornings during church service. He forgave us freely and undeserving and as a result, we are to forgive those who have hurt us.

I know you are thinking to yourself, “How can I break free from the bondage of unforgiveness?” Glad you asked…

1. Let God forgive you. (1 John 1:9)
a. Confess your own bitterness; your selfish actions, hateful speech, carnal living (Proverbs 28:13)
b. Agree with God that your feelings of bitterness, wrath, malice, etc. have no place in your life as a Christian.
c. Thank God for the blood of Christ that cleanses you from your sin. (Ephesians 1:6-7, Ephesians 2:13)
2. Forgive your offenders. (Matthew 6:14-15)
a. As an act of your will in faith before God, release them from any obligation to make things right.
b. Extend to them the same grace God has given you.
3. Ask God to take possession of the place in your heart that Satan claimed as his own.

If the Lord has brought someone to mind whom you need to forgive, purpose to do it now. It may be a family member or a person from your past. There may be something in your own past for which you have never forgiven yourself. Perhaps you are saying, “But it happened such a long time ago and it no longer matters.”

If you can remember it, and you know that you have never scripturally forgiven that person, then you need to do it now. Otherwise, Satan will continue to hold that place in your heart.


A Prayer of Forgiveness

Father, thank you for the blood of Christ that cleanses me from sin. I confess that I have sought to get revenge rather than forgive my offenders.

(Confess what you have done right here)

God I forgive (name) for (be specific). In the name of Jesus Christ, and by His blood, I take back the place which Satan possessed in my heart and give it back to you. In Jesus’ name…Amen!

Does Love Really Exist?

Workplace topic for the week...

Does love really exist? Or are we fascinated with the concept of love which none of us will ever experience?

Just for the record...I am a total believer in the concept of LOVE! The questions above are based on a dialog exchange I experienced on another blog.

-KP