Matthew 18:22, Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
Recently, I’ve had several discussions with individuals regarding their inability to forgive others who have transgressed against them. After reflecting upon those discussions, I’ve decided to do a blog series on the importance of exercising forgiveness as part of our daily walk. In order to set the foundation of my perspective, let me first define what forgiveness is.
Definitions
Forgiveness – The process of relating to an offence committed directly or indirectly by yourself or an individual and releasing them from it.
Here is another definition provided to me during a workshop I attended:
Forgiveness – Using God’s power to deal with the permissive will of God to accomplish the purposes of God.
When you do not forgive others who have wronged you it leads to a sense of bitterness in your overall spirit. Bitterness is a force of destruction and bondage that keeps you from experiencing the fullness and freedom God desires for you to have. Bitterness destroys people and relationships and makes you a prisoner to your hurts and hatred.
Forgiveness is a source of emotional health, freedom and release. Forgiving another has the power to set you free from the hurts of your past, inclusive of recent or long-term hurts and pains. Forgiveness is an act where you forfeit your right to hold another person accountable for the things they’ve done to you. More specifically, it means releasing that person from any obligation to ever reconcile with you.
The primary reason to forgive is because it allows you the opportunity to ‘love’ again! When you opt to not forgive others in your life, it manifests itself in a negative behavioral practice of bitterness. Bitterness leads to a stronghold of bondage in your life. Many people walk around daily not recognizing they are suffering from an unforgiving spirit. You can assess your potential for an unforgiving spirit by evaluating the following symptoms:
1. Emotional – These are symptoms that are festered internally
a. Bitterness -> Resentment
b. Hatred -> Extreme anger
c. Anger -> Mild displeasure
2. Behavioral – These are symptoms that are exhibited externally
a. Clamor -> Keep bringing up old occurrences
b. Evil Speaking -> Criticize and hateful speech
c. Malice -> Seeking to get even or intentionally harm
Do you possess any of the above symptoms toward an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, family member, friend or co-worker? If so, please stay tuned for the part 2 of ‘Can You Afford Not To Forgive?’
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4 comments:
Wow...where do I begin! This is great. I think that forgiveness is one of the first things that we must do before God will bless us with His chosen mate for us. If we don't forgive our past significant others then we are closing ourselves off from our TRUE blessing from God. Thanks KP...this was very insightful and I'm looking forward to part 2!
KP, thanks for the topic on "Forgiveness". I went through my childhood, and part of my adulthood holding a grudge, and harboring malice in my heart. My father hurt my mother and I by living a life of selfishness. He turned our lives upside down!! I will never forget this day. I was 26 years old and my father was on his death bed-he was in a coma. I knew that I had to release myself from the bondage of malice and past hurts. It took the strength of the Lord to open up my heart and mouth to say- "I forgive you." I know that he heard me because I felt a release immediately. I want to let our readers know that the spirit of unforgiveness will make you sick in your body. Please release the other person(s)from whatever they did to you. Live! Live! Free yourself! SWOGOD :)
Have you ever met someone who seems familiar while different? Well, let me tell you that is my situation and sometimes when I read these blogs I wonder if the person writing these blogs are in my head? I say that because someone I know hurt me bad and when I first found out I thought, “Did they have to do what they did?” Because I wanted to tell them my way but I was never given that opportunity and worst yet I found out not from the person but indirectly. So when I did find out I was way past 100 degrees hot. In fact I can be honest and say my BC self stepped out of my body and had long conversation with AC self. And the conversation lasted well into the night. (As there was indeed a time I was not saved) The next day I was still pretty hot but I was at good 95 degree hot but hurt entered the equation. When I was awake I was down, in fact I can not even remember a day that every minute I was awake I was sad. So I asked God since I am not suppose to worry and my emotions are not like you Lord, can I just sleep. Well in one day I slept 20 hours! Whew! Needless to say I am officially well rested! And the next day I was actually able to put my game face on and function. Then some time past and I thought and prayed and to be honest I just did not feel like I was hearing from God as to what direction to take. Then one evening I was in a card store looking for a sympathy card and I ran across a card that read, “God’s Gift of Time,” and I had one of my Hmmmm moments. Then I came here to this blog and there was this topic the one I needed at that particular moment in my life and I knew he was speaking to me and telling me it was time. Time to go back and it was time to forgive. Don’t get me wrong my flesh still wanted to go in the opposite direction. In fact, it was at that moment when my flesh was struggling the most that I was reminded of the last time I let flesh take hold so I went back. In fact, I even saw the person who wronged me and it was at that moment I realized nothing had really changed and forgiveness was truly the easy part. That night I prayed (and to be honest my prayer partner and I always pray for Wisdom, Knowledge and Understanding…He does answer prayers!) and meditated on that very verse Matthew 18:22. So I told that person I forgive them and open for God’s will to work in my life and also that if for some reason this is not where they desire to be then I do understand and I can forgive them for that too. But the decision needs to be either Yes, or No but not anything Lukewarm.) I agree with this post in that I told that person that once I say I forgive you it is not about getting even but operating in the will of God and being obedient to the assignment given and it is settled. I will remember what I need to but throwing it up in one’s face is just not who I am today. So thank you again for a post that allows me an opportunity for life application and growth! (And really this is the best I can do with keeping it short : )
Signed,
Happy, Happy Joy, Joy
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Ohhh I forgot to add something to the post I made earlier though this story is abbreviated quite a bit, I forgot to tell you I had some asking forgiveness and apologizing to do. One I had to ask forgiveness from GOD for my thoughts and my actions. And I had to apologize to that person who told me directly. Because I do admire, respect and love that someone. And to be honest a question was asked while I was thinking and studying, “Would the truth have been told any other way?” And to be honest I could not be 100% certain of my answer and that was not pleasing (I learn something about me everyday with each new experience) so I understand that it happened the way it was designed to happen. Either way I was stronger and better and wiser from it. One more person I had to apologize to the person my actions hurt too...the one most familiar to me! (Okay now for real I think I am really done with the story. See I left out some important stuff when I try to condense!)
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