One thing I am learning as I travel this journey called life is being a Christian doesn’t offer me an excuse for not being a man. As I study and read God’s Word, and even watch what’s going on in our society, we desperately need men who are willing to get back to the basics of what manhood is. One element of being a man involves taking risks.
As God’s mighty creation, He expects us to take charge and fulfill our roles as head of the household. Unfortunately, there are many of us who are willing to take risks professionally, financially and socially, but aren’t willing to do so relationally. One of the detriments of having the number of women to men odds in our favor is our tendency to lay back and wait until women throw themselves at our feet for attention. Like many of my brothers, I embraced this royal treatment and soon recognized that I didn’t have to do much except sit back and benefit. I realized during that phase (notice I said ‘that phase’) of my life I picked up some habits that were detrimental to God-centered relationship development.
As long as I continued to live according to my own selfish agenda, I found myself never having to take risks or make challenging relationship decisions. Why settle down? Why commit? Why explain myself to those I was dating? Those were questions I often pondered, but never felt a responsibility to address. I left many decisions suspended in mid-air because I found myself wanting to remain comfortable and keep those around me happy. As long as I remained focused on pleasing people instead of God, I found myself out of alignment with His purpose for my life.
To My Brothers…
Being a real man means making tough choices and taking selfless risks. Once you realize the call God has on your life, being His chosen leader for the family household requires you to take risks and make difficult decisions. It’s only when you realize the responsibility God has bestowed upon you that you can stop playing games with the women in your life and focus on building the best possible relationship with the ONE woman He blesses you with.
The woman you marry will look to you to lead, sacrifice, offer a selfless perspective and offer a big picture view according to what’s best for the entire family. The role of being a man, leader and head of the household, involves an ongoing process of taking risks and making difficult decisions. A real man is willing to approach a woman and risk rejection. A real man is willing to make tough professional decisions. A real man is willing to make decisions that may result in failure. A real man is willing to make decisions that may not be popular with friends or family. Are you willing to take risks that will allow God to mature you into the man He desires for you to be?
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7 comments:
Phenomenal KP....spiritually phenomenal!!
How does a real man approach a woman?
Thx 2Cents!
Hey Anonymous...a real man approaches a woman with respect, courtesy, a smile, genuineness and good intentions as a child of God.
Absolutely...that would be a real man.
I think it is important for women to allow men to take on the role of leading. There has been a reversal of gender roles within the African American community in that we are seeing more women climbing the corporate ladder and playing the role of "head of household" within their families. While I believe this shift was involuntary, it is resulting in women falling into a culture that promotes us being aggressive in pursuing men. We hear things like "put yourself out there;" "go out more;" "flirt;" and "ask the guy out." I think that the aforementioned approaches dangerously straddle the notion that we should not trust what God has promised to do for the women He wants to see married. As women, we should focus solely on seeking His kingdom and cultivating a relationship with Him. Then, we should trust that, at the right time, He will present us as a precious gift to "the one" He has chosen for us. Those men will be aligned with God's will and will know exactly how to treat us from beginning to end.
stephad19
Anonymous.. you hit a really good point. Society today promotes the “Independent Women” syndrome. The philosophy is that “I can make my own money, take care of myself, run my own business, and not need a man for anything. And because I’m able to take control in my corporate life, I can take control in my personal life when it comes to men.”
While it’s good for us to be independent and be able to take care of ourselves, we need to slightly adjust our mindset when it comes to men. And as a matter of fact, why are we even concerned about meeting a man? Like Anonymous said earlier, our focus should be on God. When God is ready for us to have the “One” man for our life, He’ll send him. Proverbs 18:22 says in the Amplified Bible, “He who finds a [true] wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Why are we looking when God said he would find us?
One reason is like KP said.. men don’t approach. There are real women out here waiting for real men to step up and say something.
Stay Blessed :-)
Thanks KP! "A real man is willing to approach a woman risk rejection", just pushed me to do something I should have done long ago. Rejection may come, but if it doesn't, the risk may be worth the reqard.
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