Where Are The Single Church Brothers At?

As the leader of an Unmarried Adult Ministry, this is a question I hear quite often from many of our women members. Yes, the lack of single men in our churches is bad for the whole relationship/dating landscape. However, that's not the biggest problem! The biggest problem is that most single men aren't even attending churches. I'm concerned about my Christian brothers. Why are we less active in our faith? Is a relationship with our Creator important?

I don't think it's something for us to easily pinpoint—or even that it's just one source to the overall problem. I think there are different contributors to the problem all over the place, including cultural gender roles, societal expectations, and the setup of the church.

Men commonly just don't know what or who we're supposed to be. Mixed messages and gender confusion can particularly screw up younger, single men. Without clear guidance, it's easy to follow the wrong path.

Think of culture and Christianity as two advertisements next to each other on street billboards. Culture advertises sex, profit, alcohol, instant gratification, and not having to rely on anybody but yourself. On the other hand, the church seems to promise judgment, rules, profiting pastors and a focus on money. To add to the tainted appearance, there's a focus on family and a largely female appeal.

Looking at it this way, it's a little more understandable why many men leave the church after high school and come back only as married men with families and a greater emotional maturity, if they come back at all. They've sown their wild oats, seen the errors of their ways, and now understand what's truly lasting and important in life.

I know things don't look good for those seeking a balanced church experience. And I admit the problem with a lack of men active in the church can look discouraging. I offer to you that it's too soon to quit on the situation. Continue sharing your experiences with those who are currently unchurched and organizing activities that will show our brothers that Christianity an church can be exciting. It only takes a remnant to change things. Are you willing to be a part of the solution? Or will you continue contributing to the problem?

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