The "IN" Crowd

by Kendra J. Gamble

(Romans 5:1-5)

Layoffs, foreclosures, growing debt, and decreasing finances are in the forefront of our society like never before. Stress, pressure, sadness, depression, anger, fear, and despair are all arresting the hearts and minds of many believers. What do we do? How can one handle the tribulations in this day and still rejoice in the Lord? Many are crying out to God for deliverance while others seek a way out in their own strength. It is quite common for us as humans to ask for deliverance "out" of a situation. Nevertheless, as children of the Most High God, He is able to teach and deliver us "IN" the situation. Yes, we can even rejoice during our most difficult trials and tests.

Romans 5 begins by reminding us that since we are justified by faith we have peace with God through Jesus Christ. Inspite of all that we are going through, whether it is financial, spiritual, or emotional, we can give God praise for peace and relationship with Him. In times like these we must return to the joy of our salvation, the true object of our worship. Because of our faith we are legally declared righteous and through Christ " have access...into this grace wherein we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God". We are still covered and kept by God's grace no matter what is happening. God's grace is our blanket in the ark of His safety. Remember we STAND AND REJOICE in hope!!! Regardless of the situation, by the power of God's grace you can stand, not bow down to your problems. You can rejoice and not allow sadness and depression to overtake you. Now here's the shouting part, verse 3 declares, "And not only so, but we glory IN tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope". It's IN the situation that our faith is nurtured. It's IN the sitatuation that we learn to offer up the sacrifice of praise. It's IN the situation where our testimony is birthed. Remember, Jesus said in John 16:33, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." Our tests and trials are not a surprise to God. He gave us His word, His promise that He would never leave nor forsake us. He has already proclaimed our victory through Christ Jesus! I remember a passage from a song that says, "if I never had a problem, I wouldn't know God could solve it!" Ahh yes, there it is, our problems are our experiences! Because of those past experiences we now have hope in seeing the glory of the Lord revealed through these current experiences! Others may not understand your reason for hoping and believing God while all hell is breaking loose in your life. They might even call you foolish. Verse 5 declares "And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given to us". In other words, You will not look foolish for trusting in God. He is faithful to do as He promised. He is faithful to deliver and restore. You can cling to His promises because He loves us and the Holy Ghost reminds us of that love. God wants to dress us with a new attitude IN the middle of our storms. He wants to give us a new song IN the midst of our tears. Our Father is triumphant and because of our relationship with Him, SO ARE WE!!!

Brothers and sisters don't give up. Continue to press on. Look at you, still getting up and going to work, or applying for jobs. The bank might have taken your home, but it ultimately belongs to God who has the power to give you another home! It may seem like things are going from bad to worse, but God still gives you life and another opportunity to go forward. You may not know it, but everyday that you arise you're letting the enemy know that he won't win! You are not alone. Our circumstances may not be the same,but we serve the same God who is able to strengthen us IN our storm. My pastor once said, "Your worst day with Jesus is better than your best day without Him!" You are not counted out because of your problems. You are not an outcast. Don't go another day with your head down. REJOICE! You are in the "IN" crowd!

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Are You Tangled In Sin?

I had an opportunity to teach this lesson for Sunday School two weeks ago and thought it was so powerful that it needed to be shared with the masses.

We learn that when God’s people confess their sins, God responds by forgiving their sins and giving them a new start. If you want an excellent biblical illustration of the impact of sin, please review the story of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel Chapters 11 & 12.


Sin Must Be Confronted
o We often become tangled in sin due to a series of bad decisions or an obsession with a specific feeling. In order to make progress in dealing with our sins, we must first be willing to confront our sins.

Sin Is Personalized
o Too often we can be quick to point out the sins of others yet hesitant to admit our own sins. Even now we might need to take a personal inventory of the many things that can be considered unhealthy and sinful behavior. Let us not get caught up judging others for their behavior when we have not adequately addressed our own.

Sin Is Judged
o Our sins always carry spiritual consequences but also can result in devastating temporal consequences. Temporal consequences include damage to our physical and emotional health as well as damage to our families and careers. God graciously offers forgiveness to those who repent of their sins; yet some temporal results of sins may not be undone this side of heaven.

Sin Can Be Confessed and Forgiven
o We need to realize that our holy God is amazingly gracious and forgiving, willing to restore those who repent and confess their sins. Those who have committed sins and question if God will forgive them should take heart from David’s example of humble confession.

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Is Your Life On Hold?

Here is an interesting entry written by a young lady on the Christianity Today website.
____________________________

I read a quote recently from Carolyn Hax, an advice columnist I read frequently, that made me stop and think. Although her advice doesn't come from a Christian perspective, I enjoy reading her because she has a lot of common sense.

Here's an excerpt from a recent advice column:
"Is there any element of your life that's based on the assumption that you'd someday be married?

… the signs that you're waiting for your life to come find you aren't always obvious, like living with your parents. It can be your savings strategy, your hobbies, your neighborhood, your hangouts, your eating habits, your choice of friends, your behavior on dates, your travel plans, your taste in clothing or music or art, your willingness even to buy art.

… If you identify any part of your life that's in limbo because you're single, try knocking it back out again. Make the choices you'd make if this were it, your life, no one but you calling shots."

—Tamara

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Where Are The Single Church Brothers At?

As the leader of an Unmarried Adult Ministry, this is a question I hear quite often from many of our women members. Yes, the lack of single men in our churches is bad for the whole relationship/dating landscape. However, that's not the biggest problem! The biggest problem is that most single men aren't even attending churches. I'm concerned about my Christian brothers. Why are we less active in our faith? Is a relationship with our Creator important?

I don't think it's something for us to easily pinpoint—or even that it's just one source to the overall problem. I think there are different contributors to the problem all over the place, including cultural gender roles, societal expectations, and the setup of the church.

Men commonly just don't know what or who we're supposed to be. Mixed messages and gender confusion can particularly screw up younger, single men. Without clear guidance, it's easy to follow the wrong path.

Think of culture and Christianity as two advertisements next to each other on street billboards. Culture advertises sex, profit, alcohol, instant gratification, and not having to rely on anybody but yourself. On the other hand, the church seems to promise judgment, rules, profiting pastors and a focus on money. To add to the tainted appearance, there's a focus on family and a largely female appeal.

Looking at it this way, it's a little more understandable why many men leave the church after high school and come back only as married men with families and a greater emotional maturity, if they come back at all. They've sown their wild oats, seen the errors of their ways, and now understand what's truly lasting and important in life.

I know things don't look good for those seeking a balanced church experience. And I admit the problem with a lack of men active in the church can look discouraging. I offer to you that it's too soon to quit on the situation. Continue sharing your experiences with those who are currently unchurched and organizing activities that will show our brothers that Christianity an church can be exciting. It only takes a remnant to change things. Are you willing to be a part of the solution? Or will you continue contributing to the problem?

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Points of Reflection

Here are a couple points of reflection for your Monday morning.

For the Ladies...

"When you chase after a man to get him, you'll have to chase after him to keep him!" Allow Proverbs 18:22 to be your source!

"Don't play the mistress in relationships. If a man cheats with you, you can be assured that he'll cheat on you."

For the Gentlemen...

"If you desire to find the 'good thing' described in Proverbs 31, you must stop pursuing the 'lust thing' available at many of your local clubs/bars."

"Make sure you develop relationships based on the core values you desire for your family. The best lifemate for you may not look like a video model."

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Risk of Relationships

Here is a quote by C.S. Lewis that reminds me why, despite all past pain, it's still worth the risk of being open to relationships.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

While rejection and heartbreak are horrible, these results of trying to avoid such things altogether sound worse. And surely aren't part of the full, abundant life God desires us to lead.

No matter what bad experiences you have encountered in your past, don't complicate/delay God's ability to change your situation by living life through your rear-view mirror. Everything in your past happened for a reason! Your past experiences give you a foundation to make wiser life decisions and enhances your recognition of good, 'quality' people who God sends into your life. Every failed relationship puts you one step closer to the one God ordains for you to have! Celebrate the fact that you now have a clearer picture of what you desire in your future mate.

Please visit http://chatkafe.blogspot.com for more helpful entries like this!

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Reality of Love

The reality of love is this: We don't have the ability to really love without the power of the Holy Spirit working through us.

In Galatians 5:22-23, the Apostle Paul tells us the fruit of the Spirit is, “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control...” According to this scripture, we don't have the capacity to love without God giving us that ability as we surrender ourselves to Him.

So how are people able to “love” when they don't know God? Well unfortunately they can't. At least they are not able to love with the type of love God demonstrates. God's love is a special love the Bible calls “agape”. It is a love that flows out of the will and does not change. It does not change based on feeling, emotion or attitude. It is the most stable and predictable kind of love and the only type that can provide a lasting foundation in marriage and/or other relationships.

Often, when people say they love someone, they are just talking about sexual desire or a passionate feeling. These kinds of feelings fluctuate regularly and are not synonymous with pure love. Modern day love outside of God isn’t strong enough to endure the many storms of life relationships and marriages experience.

Agape love, however, is a committed and sacrificial love that is modeled after Jesus. When Jesus tells us He loves us, He isn't talking about a feeling that comes and goes. He is telling us He is committed to us forever and will not change. He loves us regardless of whether we are a drugaholic, alcoholic, sexaholic, lustaholic, workaholic or any other holic you can name. Jesus’ love for us remains the same no matter what we do to Him. We really need to consider what we mean when we tell our spouse, fiancé/fiancée, boyfriend/girlfriend “I love you”. Are we saying that we are experiencing an emotional feeling when we are around them or are we saying we are committed to him or her forever and will demonstrate love regardless of bad feelings or negative circumstances?

People controlled by their emotions are unreliable and their moodiness can do a lot of damage to relationships. Relationships built on personalities and moods are destined for failure. The most stable and dependable people in relationships are those who are submitted to the influence of the Holy Spirit. They are powered by a supernatural love that will lead them to do the right thing through thick and thin.

Prayer for today

Ask God to fill you with the power of His Holy Spirit. He never intends for us to go around trying to love people out of the shallow well of our own emotions. The ocean of His love is always available to any of us who would just admit our weaknesses and depend upon Him. His agape love is the highest love and will transform any person, relationship, or marriage under its influence.

Please visit http://chatkafe.blogspot.com for more helpful articles like this!

(Some content taken from Jimmie Evans' Marriage Today. You can visit his site at www.marriagetoday.org.)

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Innocent or Guilty?

Here is a point of conviction for you today...

During a trial, the burden of proof always lies with the prosecution--the defendant is innocent until proven guilty. One day you will stand before the Judge of all mankind. Will you be found innocent or guilty on that day? To examine the evidence, let's look at God's moral Laws (the Ten Commandments): Have you ever lied? Ever stolen anything? Ever hated anyone? The Bible says, "Whoever hates his brother is a murderer" (1 John 3:15). Ever looked with lust? Jesus said, "Whoever looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27, 28). If you've broken any of the Laws, God sees you as a liar, a thief, a murderer, and an adulterer-at-heart. The penalty for sin is death, and eternity in hell. Do you see the predicament you're in? God knows your every thought, word, and deed, and your conscience confirms that you're guilty. What will you say in your defense? No amount of good works will help your case. The good news is that God has provided a way for your penalty to be paid. Jesus Christ suffered and died on the cross in your place to take the punishment for your crimes against a Holy God. If you repent (turn from your sins) and place your trust in Jesus alone to save you, God will declare you not guilty. Then read your Bible daily and obey what you read. Please visit www.TheGoodPersonTest.net.

You can view this along with other posts at http://chatkafe.blogspot.com!

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Relationship Tip - 11/11/2008

Here is your relationship tip for this week.

Remember that relationships are a two-way street that require flexibility, compromise and forgiveness. You must recognize that things may not always go your way and when they don't...you must be willing to look at the situation with an objective eye. Many arguments occur in our relationships because two people view the situation from their own individual perspective. This would work extremely well if the world centered around us. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that is not the case for all of us (even though some folks think contrary to this). It is essential for two people to look beyond themselves individually in order to come to a mutually agreed upon roadmap that is in the best interest of the relationship. Sometimes this means giving more in one area and less in another. At the end of the day all relationships require balance, flexibility, communication and compromise.

What good is having two people in a relationship if they cannot agree on their final destination?

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Incomplete Assignments

Today's post is short and sweet! My Sunday School class has often discussed our selfish human nature. In the midst of our selfishness, many of us leave assignments given to us by God incomplete. How fair of a response is that from us to the One who is in control?

- We expect God to wake us up every morning in preparation for life's enjoyment.
- We expect God to protect us from the many dangers that we naturally face each day.
- We expect God to provide places of employment so we can meet our daily needs.
- We expect God to heal us when we become ill.

The list goes on and on...but my question for you is simple!

Have you completed the last assignment God gave to you?

Did you pray to Him for guidance this morning?
Did you read His Word today for strength?
Did you tithe as He commanded you to do?
Did you invite that co-worker or family member to church as you have been prompted?
Did you disassociate yourself from people who are negatively influencing you?
Did you give to the homeless today during lunch?

Just some food for thought on this Monday!

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Dating and Privacy

When going through the process of 'dating', you should expect the common courtesy of learning the basic information about the person you are sharing with. Information such as age, occupation, children, likes and dislikes should not be viewed as 'out of the ordinary.' However, there are some areas of life that begin to push the limit for those going through the 'get to know you' process (e.g., income, credit score inquiries, number of past sex partners, etc.).

Men tend to be a lot more private/secretive of themselves when it comes to sharing information. I think this has a lot to do with a woman's natural desire to learn certain things; whereas, a man doesn't really focus on things outside of the basics.

- How private should you be when you are dating someone new and you want to explore a relationship?

- At what point during the relationship do you begin to share the more intimate details of yourself with the person you are dating? Are you an open book? Or does someone have to pry information out of you?

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Male Biological Clock

We spend a lot of time addressing the ever-present gasp of women racing against their bodies for relationships, marriage and children. However, let's take an opportunity to view a very different life-perspective. Do men have biological clocks?

A man's biological clock is a measure against his ability to play ball in the yard with his sons, his ability to retain cultural relevance with his children as they go through adolescence and his ability to maintain his household during his pre-AARP years. Do men have biological clocks?

Now this question may seem a little odd or even illogical, but it does have relevance to that small group of men seeking to accomplish their God-ordained life goals. I personally have no immediate pressure of a biological clock because there are other things in life that currently have my focus and attention (e.g., ministry, profession, school, etc.). However, I do have some close friends and associates who press the issue to find, create or marry into family, so they can beat their self-assessed 'biological clocks'.

The unfortunate result for many of these men is the unattractive aura they give off by wanting to accelerate relationships to the altar. I wish I had a dollar for each of the discussions I've held with women who were turned off by men who pressed too hard to make things work quickly. Although many desire to get married, women will forego proposal opportunities in situations where a man seems 'thirsty'.

Let's not take my biased view of the issue of male biological clocks. Below are some responses to a survey completed by Christian Singles Today: http://www.christianitytoday.com/singles/newsletter/2008/mind1105.html

The Need for Speed
When I was in my late 30s and early 40s, I thought I needed to hurry up and find somebody to marry so I could have kids before I got too old to raise them. This led me into several relationships that weren't healthy. Now that I'm in my mid-40s, I'm not as interested in having children as in having a godly relationship with a woman. I now realize it takes time to get to know someone, and you shouldn't rush the process. But it seems most of the women I've been dating just want to hurry up and get married.
-Ken

Mild Desire
I don't think we men really have a biological clock relating to kids. Sometimes I wish I could have kids, but it isn't something that hits me—it's just a mild desire. And that desire doesn't have to do with a time of the year or stage in life; it's usually when I've been around some fun kids.
-Rob

The Clock's Stopped
As a 45-year-old never-married man, I feel like the biological clock has probably passed me by. I've felt the desire for kids in the past, but at this point, it's not much of an issue for me. Even if I were to get married tomorrow, my children would be graduating from high school around the time I'll be retiring, and that doesn't seem quite fair to the kids.

I haven't dated much in recent years, but I know what it's like to be dating a woman with "ticking-clock syndrome." It can be very uncomfortable for a guy, and can make you feel like your only importance to her is as a means to the end of motherhood. For some women, the biological clock undermines their ability to value a man for who he is, which is what most Christian guys want from a relationship.
-Steve

Rights and Wrongs
I'm astounded at the expectant attitude of child-bearing in our kid-centric society. I believe that remaining childless is much more selfless and requires more mental energy. Most women think it's their right—or a commandment from God—to have a child. But it isn't a given that everyone is to procreate. There are far too many people having children who don't possess the ability or finances to raise them.
-Ron

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Change We Need!

I, like many other Americans, was extremely excited to witness such a monumental event in United States history. The election of Senator Barack Obama as the next President of the United States signifies so much in the lives of a people who are currently facing an overwhelming outlook of despair. Increasing job loss, a failing economy, increasing costs for everyday goods and a burst housing bubble have all contributed to the 2008 state of affairs we currently find ourselves in. However, a two-year campaign, tireless hours of sacrifice, and exposure to public scrutiny ultimately resulted in a manifestation of hope many of us never thought we’d see. The bar of expectation for African-Americans and Americans overall has been raised, the glass ceiling has been removed, change is now present and it’s now up to us to live out the potential of what God placed us here on earth for. Don’t become comfortable with simply applauding last night’s victory because the journey has just begun! The change President Elect Obama spoke about last night lies squarely in the hands of the people who can buy into the dream and vision that has been illuminated in him. Our current-state of life won’t change without a cognitive adjustment from each of us. Think about the journey of change for many of us…

Change seemed so far away!
Change persevered through baseless attacks from the opposition!
Change had God clearing the path for his journey!
Change spoke hope into the lives of millions!
Change received the support of the people!
Change recognizes there is still much work to do!
Change needs all of us to do our part to continue our progress!
Change needs all of our commitment to take our communities, cities and country to the next level!

Are you ready? All you have to buy into the concept of “Yes We Can!”

Get Your Vote On!

Many of you have already cast your ballots for this pivotal election, but if you haven't...GET YOUR BEHIND OUT THERE AND VOTE!!

This election has so many different impacts and none of us can afford to let this election past without our participation. Let me dispel a few misconceptions that people sometimes fall victim to:

1.) Your vote does matter despite what the media tells you.
2.) Not all democrats are black and not all republicans are white.
3.) Just because you are Christian DOES NOT mean you should vote Republican like many churches may lead you to believe.
4.) You have the right to investigate the issues for yourself in order to make an informed decision. Don't just vote for someone because yoru friends are voting for them :)

Recognize that one person will not change the country overnight and we need to pray for the country's patience through the rebuilding process. Make the most of this historic moment and monitor the results throughout the evening.

Enough with the overview....GET YOUR VOTE ON!

Blackballed

An interesting question was raised during a small group outing our ministry hosted this past weekend. One the guys in our group mentioned that he viewed women in our ministry as sisters and would never consider dating any of them. Of course the young man’s statement sparked an immediate response from one of the young ladies in our group as she swiftly responded “Why?” I quickly supported his claim by interjecting that if the relationship doesn’t work out, then the man subjects himself to being blackballed within the group. This seems to be the unspoken theory for men in churches, workplace environments and other organizations.

Workplace topic of the week…

Would you date someone in your inner circle (church, workplace, networking groups, etc.) even if it risked being blackballed from dealing with others in the same circle? Why or why not?

Does the answer to the above question differ for men and women?