I appreciate the various comments posted on the most recent entries regarding ‘Should Women Pursue Men.’ God disconnected me from technology for a couple of days so I could reflect on all of the comments that were posted. Fortunately, the temporary disconnect allowed me to think spiritually about the intent and sources for some of the comments, and avoid taking things too personally. In the end here is what God revealed to me…
1. All men, as well as all women; have issues that need to be addressed. This is something that is an ongoing process because no one is perfect. We must understand that we are ALL works in progress (Romans 3:23).
2. Men do need to regain their rightful roles in relationships and head of the household. Our inability to remain in alignment with God’s Word has encouraged the ‘21st Century Deborahs’ to stand up and take lead. However, we should remember that God’s original plan should not be aborted despite many women having to take the role of Deborah in today’s society.
3. Women do need to understand the delicate balance of making relationships work harmoniously despite the pursuit of career and educational goals. Submission does not mean aborting your dreams and aspirations, but does call for an evaluation of what’s best for the relationship in its entirety.
4. Harboring hurts and pains from past relationships (family and interpersonal) is the best way to remain shielded from being sent ‘the one’ God has for you. Please go back to the source of your pain and forgive those who hurt you (Matthew 18:21-22). Utilize your season of singleness to prepare the way for a smooth transition into relationship with the person God sends your way.
Here are some points to evaluate when assessing your self-readiness for a biblical relationship:
1. How do you see yourself? - You need to be able to clearly articulate who you see yourself as at this point in your life. You cannot successfully merge with anyone until you understand who you are and what you bring to the relationship.
2. How does God see you? – Do you know your God-purpose in life? Or do you find yourself defined by what others around you think? You should be able to biblical define who God has called you to be.
3. How do you see God? – Do you have an established relationship with the Father? How often do you pray? How many spiritual growth classes have you taken? You will not be able to recognize a God-ordained relationship until you truly KNOW who God is.
At the end of the day all relationships come down to God's timing and your ability to compromise and sacrifice for the well being of the relationship.
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6 comments:
Revisiting the Pursuit commentary. I agree that the man should pursue the woman; but this is not the case in today's society. Years ago I had a coworker who told me that because I was desiring and waiting for the man to pursue me was the reason I was alone, and she proceeded to tell about her relationship and how she pursued her husband, and so much so that she asked him to marry her. I thought that was so messed up. It was truly an example of role reversal.I often wonder do men today not know how to pursue women, or feel that it is not necessary because so many women pursue the man now. What are your thoughts on this from a male perspective.
Thanks for your comment! My question back to you is this..."Why do you think that traditional biblical roles do not apply in today's society?" We often allow our situations and circumstances to discourage us from the foundation we know, believe and profess to be true. I think we oftentimes get caught up in numbers, but God's plan doesn't work according to societal odds. Also, be careful who you allow to feed into your mind and spirit. Many of our male and female friends may try to assist us with advice, but don't mistake their good intent with God’s Will and His Word. You may be unmarried, but if you are in Christ, you are definitely not alone.
Role reversal today is due to the breakdown of family structures that God intended for us. We are reaping the harvest of irresponsibility, laziness and lack of strong willed men today because of seeds that were sown years and years ago. Men are being raised in single family homes (please don’t mistake this comment as an absolute statement), in two-parent households with no strong male example and based on fallacies presented by hip-hop, reality television and poor educational systems. The issue is multi-faceted, but we need to remain focus on our beliefs. A word of encouragement for you is that it only takes one man to fulfill the marital partner role in your life. He may appear at church, at the gas station or at a get together with friends. Remain focused on God and allow Him to work in your life.
Interesting posts, KP. Many of the disconnects between men and women seem to stem from folks trying to reconcile Biblically defined roles in our modern day culture. Much of it being push-pull since it's tough for self sufficient women to be just that without potential partners feeling emasculated. Must investigate Deborah.
Would like to see more on men being raised on the fallacies...
Thanks for visiting mytwocents! Go checkout Deborah and let me know your thoughts.
Good morning KP! I read your Pursuit topic and I would like to add that society has taught us the a wife is not to seek her husband but instead let the husband seek his wife. In Thessalonians 4:4 the scriptures tells us that it is ok for a woman to seek her husband but she must do it in honor and holy. If we take the time to read for outselves and not adhere to lessons made up of human a lot more marriages would take place and a lot of women would not be alone "waiting on her man". I'm a single woman and that's what I've been taught, Thank God for his words and now I know it's okay for me to seek my husband and do it in honor and being holy while seeking without feeling ashame or overwhelmed. So many people fail to see the glory of our Lord thru his Son Jesus.
Hey Lilly! I appreciate you taking time out to visit my blog. I would like to challenge you to go do an in depth study on the book of Thessalonians. The passage you reference has nothing to do with man or woman pursuing one another. That passage is totally dedicated to purity and maintaining purity according to God's Word. 1 Thess 4:4 is a direct reference to control of one's sexual desires. You have to be sure to watch the context of the text before reaching a conclusion. Pursuit of relationship doesn't fit into the passage, chapter or book of 1 Thessalonians in its entirety. I would love to hear if you have some other supporting evidence of your view.
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