Friday, April 4, 2008
Relationship Tip - 4/4/2008
A relationship cannot be considered authentic or validated until two people have demonstrated vulnerability and openness with one another. One of the main reasons why I preach the Friendship -> Courtship -> Engagement message is because openness and respect is typically attained through genuine friendship. The reason why so many people claim irreconcilable differences in marriages is because they only saw the 'dating' side of their spouse and not the 'real' side of their spouse. Today's contemporary dating practices connect people together based on perceptions instead of realities. The 'dating' side of a person doesn't allow you into the inner-most corridors of a their heart, mind and emotions. The 'dating' side of a person doesn't want you to see something that may make you judge them. The 'dating' side of a person always wants you to see them at their best and on their best behavior. The 'dating' side of a person leads to a false reality and eventually marital unhappiness. Friendship allows two people to be themselves while pursuing a healthy platonic relationship. Many people will confess that they have a long-time friend of the opposite sex who knows more intimate things about them than their current boyfriend/girlfriend. This means information is intentionally being withheld in hopes of it never coming to the surface (i.e., STD’s, anger issues, sexual struggles, children out of wedlock, etc.). Why marry someone when you don't have enough historical and present information to make a sound decision? Do enough homework on the front-end to eliminate life's misery on the back-end.
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3 comments:
Well said KP! A popular comedian once said that in the early stages of a relationship you meet your partner's representative. As the relationship continues ( or progresses to marriage) then you meet the real person. People by nature are afraid of rejection. So, there are those who neglect to tell their potential mate the truth,the whole truth,and nothing but the truth. That is why friendship is so important. There is a freedom in true friendship that does not reside when you are "on the fast track" of relationships. People in a hurry to marry often times make the mistake of not learning about the one they're with. There is no need to rush with God at the helm. You can enjoy being that man or woman's friend,learning their heart,hopes,dreams, flaws,and fears. Remember,the first couple was "naked and not ashamed". God wants that for His children in relationships. When it is right and real, that man or woman will not walk away upon learning the truth,because God has placed on the inside of that individual an anointing of understanding,mercy, and healing. Not only that, that person is able to look beyond their mate's faults and see the gift that they are. In my opinion, true friendship in the start of a relationship takes the limits off of a couple.....KG
Wow! I was just having this discussion at work with some people.
I almost had it right once, the problem was that the friendship part wasn't solid, it wasn't build on trust everything else that was built on top of it -- CRUMBLED!
This is important. A lot of people get into relationships with, and sometimes choose to marry, people that they would never be friends with. I really appreciated this topic.
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