re:Position Your Preparation by Paul Wilson, Jr.

What if I told you I had $1 million to give you today, but I needed to see a plan for how you were going to use it? What would you do to multiply that money into $2 million, $10 million or $100 million? What would you do to ensure that your grandchildren would benefit from my initial investment?

Don’t have an answer? Why not? You don’t think it would happen or you’re not ready if it did?

The sad truth is that many people don’t live their lives in preparation mode. They sit back hoping something good will happen to them. They expect opportunities to come, but they don’t do the things necessary to get ready for them in advance. Unfortunately, for most people their “big break” never happens.

It’s very interesting that in the midst of these economic challenges, the greatest buying opportunities of our time exist for those who have the resources to purchase rock-bottom-price houses, stocks, real estate and other wealth-building investment vehicles. Regrettably, most people over spent and lived above their income levels when the economy was going good so they didn’t have anything saved up for these lean times.

There is a saying that goes, “Success equals opportunity plus preparation.” My pastor says it like this, “God shows up when our willingness intersects our preparation.” It’s too late to prepare after the opportunity is already here.

A wise person prepares with the expectation that what they are preparing for could come at any time.
 If you want to start a business, but you’re working for someone else right now, use your job to gain knowledge and skills that you can use later in your own company. Also, start writing your business plan and begin networking.
 If you want to change jobs or careers, start developing the competencies and knowledge base needed to allow you to transition when the opportunity comes available.
 If you want to go back to school, start researching and determining which one is best suited to help you reach your goals.
 If you want to be a professional speaker, start writing your speeches and practicing your delivery - even in the mirror if needed.
 If you want to write a book, start writing.

If you want to do anything the first step is to start doing something!
You don’t know when your big break will present itself. So don’t get sucked into the black hole of complacency and apathy, thinking that your opportunity has either passed you by or isn’t coming. Preparation is an exercise of faith that moves you in the direction of expectation and possession.

The next time someone asks you the $1 million question, be ready with a well-prepared answer. You never know who would want to invest in your dream.

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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I'm Done with Love! by Anonymous

How can anyone get to that point?

Good question. Well, since I don’t know the thought pattern of men, I won’t comment on them. However, I will talk about how I have gotten to that point. Reaching the point of being absolutely done with the idea of love…through with it once and for all.

It occurs to me that many men (and even some women) have no understanding of how a woman can reach the conclusion that love is not a part of her life. It’s easy….all it takes is enough rejection and enough disappointment. There’s a scripture in the word of God that says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” When your hope has been deferred (for an extended period of time I might add) it’s easy to give up on hope all together.

After years of wanting love and never getting it, years of wanting to understand men and never getting a chance to (so to speak), and years of feeling like for the simple fact that you don’t look like, act like, or think like most women (from a societal view); that you are not allowed to be a candidate to receive love, not even by the standards of the body of Christ. Considering all of this it’s easy to give up hope.

Bishop T.D. Jakes did a lesson years ago on “Breaking the Spirit of Failure.” One of the things he mentioned was that after a while, failure can be a relief. After a while of hoping for something, it almost becomes easier to just accept that it will never happen than to allow yourself the luxury of hoping for it to happen and then being hurt yet again.

When I was 27 years old, I became friends with a man that I that began truly caring about. After two years he didn’t make the move to begin dating me like I thought he would and I was done. Done all together! I mean, as far as I was concerned that part of my life was dead, not to be resurrected or revived ever again. I looked at it from a very logical standpoint. Men had never seemed like they were genuinely interested in me, and I never bought into the cat and mouse roles that society says that men and women should play. I never wanted to join cat and mouse approach (it just kinda seems like a lot of faking; not to mention I resent the fact that I have to be “unavailable” or “coy” in order to peek a man’s interest). What does that mean? My real personality isn’t intriguing or interesting enough so I have to pretend? How incredibly degrading! Truthfully, it took a lot for me to like someone at all so I’d prefer not to add layers of games.

A man could be attractive, but I was never affected in the least until he began looking at me. As I got older, I began wanting to know that he not only had integrity, but that I could actually be my unconditional self with him. Ironically, as I got older, I found my ability to be transparent less and less possible with men. It went from 50% chance as a teenager to about 25% in my early twenties. By the time I was 23 or 24 it was 15% and then by the time I was 26, when I had the encounter with this man, it was .000000005%....or at least that’s how it felt.

All my life I had heard that I wasn’t “good enough” for any man to want me; either because I was too fat, too skinny, my hair was too nappy, or too thick, or I was too shy, or too outgoing, or too outspoken or not outspoken enough. By the time I was in my late twenties, I was extremely angry about all the mistreatment that I endured as a child being picked on by my peers and even my family, so at that time I gained the label “too angry.” I was always “too” something; and I was tired of it.

So I made a decision, a tearful one; to accept the idea that I would be alone the rest of my life. I believed love would never be a part of my life…..PERIOD. It’s not that I didn’t want love because I did. It was just I never believed that I would ever experience it. The reward seemed way too low for me to invest any of my energy into it. Interestingly enough, I got to the point where I couldn’t even hurt anymore….I was numb. I would never talk about it because I didn’t want anyone to try to “talk me out of it” or tell me that I just had a severe case of not knowing my own worth. As far as I was concerned, it didn’t matter how much I thought I was worth, it was impossible for any man to find anything in me valuable enough to want to marry. It’s not like I didn’t have value but believe men weren’t able to recognize or value it. I thought men only valued a woman who was skinny with long hair. Even if she wasn’t skinny with long hair, she was at the very least extremely willing to play the cat and mouse game. The game that lets the man hunt her like an animal so that she can be placed upon his mantle piece like a trophy and not a human being.

Since it made no sense to me to even consider, I would look away when men noticed me and I still do, it’s instinctive now, I don’t even think about it. If a man that I’m attracted to begins to behave like he likes me, I automatically become defensive and think he must be trying to play a joke on me. The thought of this makes me mad and offended since I refuse to be made a fool out of. When a man who I’m not attracted to approaches me or notices me, my thought is usually “it figures.”

Truthfully speaking, if you haven’t already figured out, this is still something that I struggle with. Usually, people don’t understand. They just say things like “you don’t love yourself” or “you don’t know your own worth and value.” I always want to say, “What does that have to with anything?” Just because I think I’m beautiful, smart, thoughtful and have a lot to offer doesn’t automatically mean that everyone will agree with me; especially, men who seem to have been brain-washed by our culture. People say “so what if a man can’t see your value, you don’t need a man!” Then my reply is “you’re right, so why even be open to the possibility?” It seems like a lose-lose battle. So why would I bother? Or for that matter, why even be friends with a man if there’s even a hint that maybe I could possibly develop feelings for him in the future? Why would I set myself up to be hurt that way?

Another thing I’ve realized is that a guy doesn’t have to be a jerk in order to hurt me, all I have to do is care enough about him and that’s all the required ammunition. Couple this with the sense that I should have known better than to think any man on this earth would ever want to be with me since they just don’t feel that I’m good enough; it’s just way too much stress to bear.

Ironically, in the midst of all this, God keeps saying I’m supposed to be married, and as much as I’ve begged him to remove the desire all together, but He simply will not. I still don’t fully understand, if He knew I was supposed to be married all this time, why would He allow me to be rejected so many times? Why would He allow me to grow up as part of a culture that says if a woman isn’t perfect, then she is not worth the trouble (I’ve heard that, not just in mainstream, even in the church.). Not to mention, I’ve watched my mother get called everything but a child of God by the man who supposedly loved her and the one she loved. Not to mention seeing so many other women love men hard and be taken advantage of. Why didn’t God prevent those things? I guess I’ll never know.

I do know this one thing…I’m tired of being tormented by fear!

Anonymous

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Don't Quit!!

Here is a poem of inspiration for all areas of your life. I periodically call upon this poem when things get a little tight in my life. The circumstances of life will change, but you have to maintain the mindset that believes they will!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

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re:Position Your Pain by Paul Wilson, Jr.

Pain hurts. That’s not a very profound statement, but it’s true. Another not very profound statement that’s true is our lives our filled with pain. That is something we cannot escape. In fact, a very well known ancient Hebrew teacher guaranteed that we would have trouble in our lives (hint: his initials are J.C.). So the issue is not if we will experience pain, but how we should respond when it happens.

One of the things that’s been painful to me recently is seeing people who are coping poorly with the challenges and difficulties that have accompanied the financial pains they have been experiencing. A loss of a job or significant amount of income can be painful, not only financially, but also emotionally, mentally and relationally.

It breaks my heart to hear stories of people who after having lost their jobs decided to take their own lives and the lives of loved ones also. Was the pain of getting fired so bad that their situation couldn’t be worked out? Was the fear of starting over too much to bear?

That doesn’t have to be your story. You can re:Position your pain!
“There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss, and no loss without pain.” - Anonymous

Pain often signals that something in your life is wrong or needs to change. When you were younger and your feet were still growing, pain in your toes let you know it was time to get some new shoes. Although, they might have been your favorite pair, they were now hurting you. The great thing is you could then enjoy the anticipation and experience of getting new shoes. You had to be willing to let go of what was hurting you in order to embrace something new – even if it took a while to get used to it.

As painful as some of our experiences are, new opportunities often present themselves out of these same hurtful episodes. Many times we get the opportunity to start fresh or do something new/different that we wouldn’t have pursued otherwise. Unfortunately, people don’t usually choose to change until the pain of not changing becomes greater than their fear to engage in change.

“A healthy perspective of pain, equips you to turn your financial, emotional, and relational injuries into assets.”

When you re:Position your pain, you realize that pain can be a good thing. While the pain itself doesn’t feel good, the response to the pain can propel you forward into a new life. Your painful experiences will either grow you or ground you. It’s your choice.

God never wastes a hurt in your life. You can use everything that has hurt you to help you. Don’t let your pain imprison you. Instead, re:Position your pain so it can help drive you to your destiny.

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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We All Marry Strangers

One of the myths out there is that if you just spend enough time searching, if you can just gather enough information, you’ll find a woman with whom marriage will be “easy.” The fact is, such a woman doesn’t exist, and if she did, she likely wouldn’t marry you. And that means that you don’t need as much information as you think you do.

No matter how long you’ve dated, everyone marries a stranger. That’s because fundamentally dating is an artificial arrangement in which you’re trying to be on your best behavior. Marriage on the other hand is real life. And it’s only in the context of day-in, day-out reality, with the vulnerability and permanence that marriage provides, that we learn what another person is really like. Some of the things we learn about each other aren’t easy. But who ever said that love and marriage were supposed to be easy?

Men, the point of marriage is that we learn to love our wives as Christ loved the church. Yes, as Revelation 21 and Ephesians 5 tell us, one day, Christ’s bride will be perfectly beautiful, without spot or blemish, altogether lovely and loveable.

But the church is not there yet. First, Christ had to commit himself to us, even to death on a cross. This is the model we’re called to follow. It’s not an easy model, but it is worth it.

So your goal should not be to date a girl long enough until you’re confident marriage won’t be hard, but to date her just long enough to discern if you’re willing to love her sacrificially, and if she’s willing to respond to that kind of love.

By Michael Lawrence in ‘A Guy’s Guide to Marrying Well’


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The Communication Gap Between Men and Women

This past weekend I had an opportunity to participate in a relationship discussion that brought together the minds of men and women from various walks of life. The event included those who have never been married, divorcees, the young and exuberant and those who seemed to have given up on love. We had a very free flowing dialog that included sex, friendships, biological clocks and communication.

As much fun as it was to discuss the topic of sex, we spent the majority of the discussion focused on communication. One of the women in attendance brought the book ‘The Five Love Languages.’ Although many of the people in attendance had never read the book, most of our discussion emphasized the importance of why a book such as ‘The Five Love Languages’ has significant value. Communication is a very important piece in bridging the gap between the minds of men and women. Far too often men speak, but women hear something totally different than the intended meaning. Women speak and men miss out on the subtle emotional/desired meaning of what she is truly saying to him. Why is that? God has wired men and women in very different ways and our differences cause us to struggle with reaching common understandings. Based on my experience, women communicate verbally and emotionally and need details to obtain clarity and understanding. On the flipside, men are simple communicators who don’t provide much in the form of detail at all. Our responses tend to lack feelings, which lead to barriers when communicating with women. Where does this leave us? It often leaves men frustrated about the amount of information being asked of them by women and leaves women totally unclear on the message being communicated by men. What’s next?

Quick Communication Tips

For Women

-Men speak more with their actions than they do with their words. This is a potential catch 22. Men show interest by taking you out, spending time with you, making time for you within the things that are important to him (business, sports, family). If you want to know if he’s interested in you, ask him. However, make sure his actions correspond to his answer. If he says he likes you, but doesn’t make time for you, then take it as “He’s just not THAT into you!”
-Men are not necessarily interested in the details, just the result/answer. Too much information has the potential of causing men to drift off or shut down. Men don’t want to go around the block if the destination is right across the street.
-Men have trouble interpreting your emotions or feelings. If you are upset, then say so. If your feelings are hurt, then say so. If you have desires that you want him to address, then spell them out. Otherwise, he may be totally clueless about what you really want him to acknowledge.
-Men don’t regularly offer-up additional details. If you want to know something specific, then ask the specific question you want answered. If you want to know if a guy is interested in pursuing a relationship with you, don’t ask “Do you like me?” Instead ask “Do you have an interest in pursuing a relationship with me?” Liking you and wanting to pursue a relationship with you are two very different things.

For Men

-Women enjoy details of situations and thoughts. One and two word answers work when dealing with male friends, but drive women insane. Be mindful to include details that she may be interested in. It may not seem relevant for you to include, but women love being able to create a complete mental visual picture.
-Women don’t like short answers when it comes to relationship/friendship status discussions. Be willing to expound upon your thoughts, feelings and desires towards her upfront in a discussion. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a line of questioning until you answer the specifics of her question(s).
-Women enjoy when you share your feelings. Don’t be afraid to say…”I miss you,” “I was thinking about you,” “I really care about you,” etc. It may seem a little awkward in the beginning because of how men are raised, but sharing your feelings allows you to speak a language that most women understand.
-Women generally have emotional desires connected to their statements. Be intentional in trying to understand the true message she wants you to receive. If she tells you that she had a hard day at work, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s looking for a solution. All she may truly want is for you to listen with a compassionate ear.

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re:Position Your Career by Paul Wilson, Jr.

One definition of insanity is continually doing the same thing, but expecting different results. This applies to many people in their career pursuits. They put their dreams on hold while working at a job they don’t like, for people who don’t appreciate their talents, and for pay that doesn’t reflect their true value or contributions. Their hope is that “one day” they will be able to pursue what’s really in their hearts. Sadly, “one day” often never comes for the majority of people who live/work like this.

Since January 2008, close to 4 million jobs have been lost to this current economic black hole. And it doesn’t seem like there’s an end in sight to the corporate job hemorrhaging.

I’m wondering how many of these 4 million people immediately turned their attention to seeking another job at a company that also just fired thousands of people. I’m wondering how many people are sending out hundreds of resumes, competing against hundreds (or thousands) of other applicants in the hopes that a recruiter or hiring manager will be able to sift through the embellishments and lying to see them for the wonderfully talented, uniquely qualified, and distinctly special individuals that they are.

So many people are searching for acceptance from a corporation without truly understanding or appreciating their own self worth. They are caught in an unending cycle of chasing something that only wants them for what they can produce versus who they are as individuals. In any other situation this type of relationship would be unacceptable. However, in career pursuits people tend to just accept this arrangement rather than pursuing a job/career path where their value is clearly recognized and highly appreciated.

Aren’t you fed up with feeling empty of passion when you wake up in the morning? Aren’t you tired of having a vocational longing in your heart that’s not satisfied? Aren’t you sick of being jealous seeing other people doing the things that you love and are capable of doing? It’s time to stop this cycle of frustration, irritation, and stagnation as it relates to your career. It’s time to re:Position!

re:Positioning means taking an in-depth assessment of your personal assets (knowledge, education, experiences, skills, relationships, other) and making some strategic decisions to leverage the realities of the current financial/economic environment to your benefit. The purpose of re:Positioning is to shift your thinking about your life perspective, relationships, career path, and any other areas of your life that need to be adjusted, so that you can flourish like you were created to do.

The upcoming re:Position Summit on May 2, 2009, will equip you with the tools you need to re:Position your aspirations (Registration: http://repositionsummit.eventbrite.com).

re:Positioning is not about you trying to change the external environment. It’s about changing your approach to the external environment so that you can thrive no matter what’s going on around you.

Don’t embrace the insanity that is often disguised as a job search. Life is too short to be stuck doing jobs that are unfulfilling, unchallenging, unsustainable, and that don’t allow you to flourish as a professional and as a human being. re:Position your career today!

re:Position Summit facilitated by Paul Wilson, Jr.
Shift your life from striving to THRIVING!
~ Learn how to flourish in any economic environment ~
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Alpharetta, GA

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“Give It To Him”

. . . casting all your care upon Him, because He cares about you.—1 Peter 5:7

I’m sure you know like me, becoming a Christian does not make your problems go away, in fact in some cases it sets you up to have more! But what it does do is give you an Advocate to whom you can take every concern. Casting our cares is a choice. It means consciously handing over our anxieties to Christ and allowing Him to carry the weight of our problems.

At times this is the most difficult part of trusting God! Because truth be told we really don't like turning over the responsibility for our problems. We have been taught that self-reliance is good and praiseworthy. Some of us may even enjoy worrying! Yet if we are to be freed from the burden of our concerns, we must choose to cast them into the strong hands of our Father.

In the text Peter does not distinguish between little cares and big cares, all he says is, “Give It To Him”. In like manner God does not differentiate between problems we should handle on our own and God-sized ones. He asks us to turn them ALL over to Him. I believe one of our greatest errors is that we assume we can deal with something ourselves, only to discover that we really can't. But beloved God sees you as His frail child, burdened with a load that surpasses your strength. He stands prepared to take your load and to carry it for you. The question is, Will you let Him?

I don’t know what care you may be carrying today, but the Word for ME that I wanted to share with YOU is, Give It To Him.

Peace and Blessings,

Pastor J.

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Red Flags in Dating

Here is an interesting article I pulled from oprah.com's website about dating...



Is today's society relationship challenged? Rabbi Shmuley says there are two kinds of commitment phobia: the active, in which the person is aware of the issue, and the passive. "The latter reveals itself by dating the wrong person in the first place … thereby sabotaging the relationship before it even begins," he says.

Rabbi Shmuley highlights red flags he says to look out for in a relationship:

-He flirts overtly with women—even when you're with him—and says it's harmless.
-He is someone who wants to be taken care of. He's looking for a mommy, or she's looking for a sugar daddy!
-He tends to shut down and won't communicate.
-She is jealous of time you spend with your friends or limits your access to your friends.
-He has a terrible temper. He yells, doesn't apologize and blames you for it. He says he would stop if you wouldn't provoke him.

In order to avoid dealing with these red-flag situations, look for the following values in your significant other, he says:

-Are you attracted to him?
-Does she have a good heart?
-Does he have the capacity to put other people before himself and empathize with another person's plight?
-Does she share your core values? If not, does she at least harbor other fundamental core convictions?
-Does he understand that a relationship is the ability for two people to cater the needs of each other (even if they do not understand each other)?

Today's Shmuleyism
"Many people today are passive commitment-phobic. They date the wrong person at the outset, thereby sabotaging the relationship before it even begins. When it comes to choosing a spouse, attraction and compatibility are, of course, vital. But nothing is more important than good character."

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In the Mirror

Today is a cloudy day for those of us who currently reside in the Atlanta, GA area. However, it’s an awesome day to take a step towards the ‘new you’ that you desire so much. Everyday we open our eyes is another day that we should live with and on purpose. I know many of you have things that you desire in your heart to accomplish and I want to simply encourage you to ‘go for it’.

Change starts with the man or woman you see everyday in the mirror. If you desire change, then you must take action. Otherwise, you will have to keep looking at yourself in the mirror and explain why you never fully lived the life you truly desired to live.

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Are You the Uncola? by Paul Wilson, Jr.

Do you remember the 7Up commercials back in the 80s with the tall Caribbean dude with the all white suite, wide brimmed hat, deep voice, and James Earl Jones laugh check out this commercial on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHMKyWgkChk&NR=1? Was that really 20 years ago? Wow!

Any way, 7Up’s marketing slogan back then was “The Uncola.” 7Up wanted to position itself as different from the typical, common, average colas, such as Coke, Pepsi, and others. They also wanted to demonstrate they had more natural ingredients and no caffeine unlike the colas and other sodas.

As I look across the landscape of our society, it’s often rare to see someone pursuing the title of the “uncola”. Rather than creating something new, intriguing, and distinct, it seems that most people are trying to copy everyone else’s formula for success. Nearly everywhere you look is another 5, 8, or 20-step book, program, or formula to achieve society’s standard of success - which is fleeting at best.

One of the key problems with this is that just because a particular process or formula worked for one person, doesn’t mean the same process or formula will work for everyone else. One person’s life circumstances are totally different than another’s. One person’s unexpected opportunities – which often are matters of circumstance rather than intention – are totally different than another’s.

Something else that is negligently overlooked is that one person’s character composition - similar to 7Up’s use of more natural ingredients than the colas - is totally different than another’s. In actuality, character is often the determining factor between success and failure, no matter what the circumstances are.

Just like 7Up, I challenge you to be an “uncola.” That means being distinctly original in how you live, relate, work, play, and worship. In this society, that means words like apathy, mediocrity, status quo, passivity, fear, lethargy, inferior, subpar, and inadequate should be foreign concepts to you.

I don’t even want you to think about trying to be “above average.” Above average is not always good, because that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are different. It means you’re still a cola, but you just taste a little better or have a little less caffeine - kind of like a “diet” cola.

Some of the people that have had the greatest impact on our society were not just above average - they were distinctly different. They had labels such as rogue, rebel, revolutionist, outsider, maverick, and the like. In essence they were “uncolas.” Although you can glean best practices and principles from their lives and experiences, there is no magic formula they could give you that would result in your life having the same exact results as theirs.

Your purpose and life path are as distinct as your fingerprint. Therefore, you need to learn how to embrace words like: irregular, abnormal, atypical, uncommon, unusual, and peculiar. If you are living in a way that truly inspires, invigorates, and ignites others with effective originality and creativity, you can claim these words as compliments not insults.

Now don’t become a freak of nature just for the sake of pursuing one of these labels. Instead, I’m encouraging you to be so brilliant at who you are and what you do that it would almost seem like you were from a different planet, because of the standard of excellence that you exhibit (hint: John 17:14).

I encourage you to explore, innovate, pioneer, and blaze new trails that others will want to follow. If you live like this, just like 7Up claimed to be back in the 80s, you would be absolutely refreshing!

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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A Fight Against Loneliness

It happened again! This past weekend I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of one of my line brothers in Washington, DC. As has become the habit, I had to respond via RSVP that I would be attending all of the wedding festivities by myself. Of course I could have picked someone to travel with me and share in the overall experience. However, I have come to realize that special moments like weddings are not to be shared with those who you are ‘casually’ dating.

It is amazing the various tricks the enemy tries to play on your mind when you are surrounded by groups of people who are married, engaged or seriously involved. For one of the few times, I found myself in another fight with loneliness. Loneliness is one of those emotions that seeks to weigh you down, causes you to re-evaluate your self-worth and tries to hijack you from focusing on the purpose God has for your life. I sat back for a brief moment, while the rest of the group was out on the town, focusing and reiterating the things I desire for my life. I desire to have a God-centered, God-focused marriage. I desire to have a family that will serve as witnesses to Lord’s goodness. I desire to have a special person in my life who I can share my successes, failures and thoughts with. I desire to have someone whose shoulder I can cry on when the temporary issues of life become overwhelming. (sigh)

It is a blessing to have a relationship with the Lord. He is so in tune with His children that He knows what we think before we actually think it. He provided me with a sense of peace during my temporary fight with loneliness. I was assured that He understands the desires of my heart. The one question that I left my time of reflection with was simple…”Am I willing to share my desired experiences with God during this season of my life?”

Many people allow loneliness to move them into the unauthorized action of taking matters into their own hands. Unfortunately, it is not you alone who can bring fulfillment to the things you desire in life…only a relationship with God can. Ask the many people who have taken matters into their own hands who now find themselves absolutely miserable. Don’t make the mistake of jumping the gun before you are released into the next season of your life. In order to win the fight against loneliness you must not allow the temporary emotions in life to move you to unauthorized actions. Continue focusing on your relationship with God. Continue focusing on your relationship with yourself. Continue being a blessing to others. God hears your cry…just allow Him to work out the final details within you so you can be successfully equipped for the next season of your life.

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I Dare You to Thrive! by Paul Wilson, Jr.

I dare you. I double dare you. I triple dog dare you!

I dare you to look beyond your problems to see your potential.
I dare you to look beyond your obstacles to see your opportunities.
I dare you to look beyond your frustrations to see your future.
I dare you to look beyond your drama to see your dreams.

I dare you to look beyond your guilt to see your giftedness.
I dare you to look beyond your bruises to see your blessings.
I dare you to look beyond your burdens to see your brilliance.
I dare you to look beyond your losses to see His love.

I dare you to go where no one has gone before!
I dare you to grow when others are groaning!
I dare you to conquer when others are cowering!
I dare you to comfort when others are complicit!

I dare you to be positive when others are pessimistic!
I dare you to be fearless when others are failing!
I dare you to be faithful when others are fading!
I dare you to love the unlovely!

I DARE you to THRIVE!

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Real Men Take Risks!

One thing I am learning as I travel this journey called life is being a Christian doesn’t offer me an excuse for not being a man. As I study and read God’s Word, and even watch what’s going on in our society, we desperately need men who are willing to get back to the basics of what manhood is. One element of being a man involves taking risks.

As God’s mighty creation, He expects us to take charge and fulfill our roles as head of the household. Unfortunately, there are many of us who are willing to take risks professionally, financially and socially, but aren’t willing to do so relationally. One of the detriments of having the number of women to men odds in our favor is our tendency to lay back and wait until women throw themselves at our feet for attention. Like many of my brothers, I embraced this royal treatment and soon recognized that I didn’t have to do much except sit back and benefit. I realized during that phase (notice I said ‘that phase’) of my life I picked up some habits that were detrimental to God-centered relationship development.

As long as I continued to live according to my own selfish agenda, I found myself never having to take risks or make challenging relationship decisions. Why settle down? Why commit? Why explain myself to those I was dating? Those were questions I often pondered, but never felt a responsibility to address. I left many decisions suspended in mid-air because I found myself wanting to remain comfortable and keep those around me happy. As long as I remained focused on pleasing people instead of God, I found myself out of alignment with His purpose for my life.

To My Brothers…

Being a real man means making tough choices and taking selfless risks. Once you realize the call God has on your life, being His chosen leader for the family household requires you to take risks and make difficult decisions. It’s only when you realize the responsibility God has bestowed upon you that you can stop playing games with the women in your life and focus on building the best possible relationship with the ONE woman He blesses you with.

The woman you marry will look to you to lead, sacrifice, offer a selfless perspective and offer a big picture view according to what’s best for the entire family. The role of being a man, leader and head of the household, involves an ongoing process of taking risks and making difficult decisions. A real man is willing to approach a woman and risk rejection. A real man is willing to make tough professional decisions. A real man is willing to make decisions that may result in failure. A real man is willing to make decisions that may not be popular with friends or family. Are you willing to take risks that will allow God to mature you into the man He desires for you to be?

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