I have a friend who feels like his emotions are involved in a real life tennis match. Everyday his feelings go back and forth about a young lady he has been in and out of a relationship with.
He recently had a relapse which I advised him against, but the heart provides a devious source of life-direction. The unfortunate reality of it all is...bouncing in and out of relationship with the same person is detrimental to both individuals’ healing and growth processes.
Have you ever had a serious relapse while trying to get over an ex? Was it because you simply missed the person, because you felt convicted about your contribution to the failure of the relationship, or because you were struggling to move on with your life?
Have can you tell when a relationship is clearly over?
Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com
 |
Subscribe to Chat Kafe |
Visit this group |
Posts
.jpg)
2 comments:
Oooh my--the "ping pong" relationship--awful situation! Regarding my split from my ex, I FINALLY understood what my dilemma was regarding my relapse a couple of years ago--my progeny! I felt guilty, like it was my fault or something--NOT a reason to stay together because you are cheating each other out of happiness. I had to THROW that situation so far on the alter to get my confirmation.....thank you JC!!
Now, regarding the friend....he is going to have to make a choice to be "emotional attached" or "healthier detached"...it is so unfair to him to suffer with that sentiment. HONESTLY ask yourself....."What am I tripping about over this person"?
When did I know that my relationship was clearly over....when I had absolutely NO feeling WHATSOEVER outside of Christian love.....for me that means OVA!!!!!!!
Theorists have actually compared "tennis match" relationships to an addiction. One or both parties are chasing the high of the make up period or the honeymoon phase. When you leave, you do have a moment of relief that you finally broke free, but then loneliness and guilt sets in. You start thinking about the good times. You rationalize that relationships take hard work and that you shouldn't be a quitter. The next thing you know, you're back in and for a period of time, it's great. At the beginning or re-beginning, both parties put their best foot forward. Everything seems grand and you're not lonely anymore. Then, the issue(s) that led to the demise of the relationship at the beginning returns. The next thing you know, you're running for the hills. The cycle continues from there. This is much like an addiction. While you know that you shouldn't take this substance, feelings of loneliness or facing your own issues compel you to run back. You're high or drunk again and you don't have to face your demons until you realize that substance is just an unhealthy distraction.
Post a Comment