Discipline for Success - 2009: By Paul Wilson, Jr.

I have to make a confession. I am writing about something that I have not yet mastered in every area of my life – discipline. I am still a work in progress. Nevertheless, as hard as it might be in some areas, I realize how essential discipline is for me to accomplish my life purpose.

Success equals opportunity plus preparation and discipline is at the center of that preparation. Personal discipline allows us to streamline our focus by cutting away the “fat” (unnecessary stuff) from our lives just like an athlete preparing for his/her upcoming season. The fat represents all the trivial things that keep us from fulfilling our potential.
Those who either consider themselves “free spirits” or just don’t like structured environments often view discipline as a dirty word. Furthermore, most environments that we encounter in life are undisciplined and allow undisciplined people to operate freely. Very few environments exist besides the military that can “shape” someone into a disciplined person. Therefore, discipline must be a choice that starts in a person’s internal environment, i.e. their character.

When a person develops and practices discipline in their habits, time management, health/eating, work ethic, relationships, etc., the result is that person can go into any undisciplined environment and thrive. The truly disciplined person can keep from being negatively influenced by other undisciplined people.

Discipline does not happen overnight. It must be developed over time through practice and intentional decision-making. The challenge is that the process of discipline can be hard and lonely. It’s hard because it forces us out of our comfort zone and makes us do things that we have not yet developed a taste for (or may never). It’s lonely because much of it is done behind the scenes and often other people, who aren't pursuing discipline in their lives, can’t relate to us.

Discipline takes focus, sacrifice, and commitment to your dream. When things become difficult, you must shift your focus to the purpose of the process and not the process itself, with the purpose being you positioning yourself to achieve your long-term goals. Only focusing on the process eventually will become discouraging. However, focusing on the end goal provides motivation to endure and appreciate the process. Short-term pain results in long-term gains.

Your success in life is directly correlated to your willingness to be disciplined in the following areas:
- Time management
- Financial decision making
- Utilizing your gifts and talents
- Relationships (family and business)
- Speech/Conversations
- Thoughts
- Health & Nutrition

Without discipline as a core component of your lifestyle, you will never reach your ultimate goals. So, think about the areas in which you are undisciplined and develop a plan to get better. You may need to get a coach or an accountability partner. This ultimately will help you to maximize your resources and not waste energy.

Don’t shortchange yourself or give yourself excuses for not being disciplined. Your success depends on you.

Perfect practice makes perfect…

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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Physical Intimacy and the Single Man: By Matt Schmucker

I have been married for 16 years and have four children. Here are several questions I want you to consider:

-Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me, a married man, to have sex with a woman who is not my wife?
-Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me to kiss, caress, and fondle a woman who is not my wife (something short of intercourse)?
-Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me to have a meal with a woman not my wife and engage in extended conversation about each other's lives (likes/dislikes/struggles/pasts)?

If you answered "unacceptable" to three out of the three, or even two out of the three questions — "yes, it would be unacceptable for you as a married man to do those things" — I want to suggest that a double standard may exist in your mind. Many people who answer "unacceptable" with regard to me, as a married man, would not say "unacceptable" for the single man.

Four reasons not to have any physical intimacy with any woman to whom you are not married

Let me give you four reasons why physical intimacy with a woman — at any level — to whom one is not married is potentially fraudulent, dangerous, and just as unacceptable for a man prior to marriage as it is after marriage.

1. We are made in the image of God

First, as we have already seen, we are made in the image of God, and everything we are and do images, or represents, God. Therefore, we should be careful in what we do with our bodies. This is particularly true for the Christian, who has been united to Christ who is the perfect image of God. As Paul writes:

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Cor. 6:15-20, NIV)
Now to the male reader who says, "Lying with a prostitute is a black-and-white issue, and of course I would never do that," allow me to reply: You are missing the point. Being bought at a price by God should compel you to honor him with everything you have and with everything you are, including your body. You are an image-bearer. And if you are a Christian, you are a name- bearer. Are you bearing well the image and name of a holy God by the way you conduct your relationships with the opposite sex?

2. We are called to protect, not take advantage of, our sisters in Christ

Second, Christian men are called to protect their sisters in Christ, not take advantage of them. Consider 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6 (NIV):

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.

Please click the following link to read the remainder of this article

http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001193.cfm

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Can't Let Go!

Dear KP,

Over the past year I have been in a long distance relationship or should I say friendship. Everything was going good, then one week he just dropped off the face of the earth. I took it as he needed time to clear his head, at least that's what he told me. However, things have not been the same since that lapse in our friendship. I have expressed my feelings with him and it's just like he doesn't understand. We have agreed to see other people and go our separate ways. It just seem like we can't do it. I try deleting all of his contact information, not talking to him, but he insists on text messaging me and calling me. I have prayed about this situation and am trying to let go, but it doesn't seem to be working!

What advice would you provide to this young lady?

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8 Steps to Cultivating Winning Habits - By Paul Wilson, Jr.

Ingredients of a Winner

Everyone wants to be associated with a winner - someone who is regarded as successful. However, just because you know a winner doesn’t automatically make you one, just like being in a garage doesn’t mean that you are now a car. There are some key criteria that qualify someone as a winner.

I define a “win” as an achievement or accomplishment and I define “winning” as on-going, successive achievements. The habit of winning occurs when a person is able to follow a specific pattern of thoughts, behaviors and actions that allows them to consistently overcome obstacles and challenges in order to achieve continual victories in their pursuits.

Talent and good ideas can get you started, but these alone are not enough to build continual, sustainable success. You must combine your talent and good ideas with discipline, diligence, passion and perseverance to succeed over the long-term.

“Perfect practice makes perfect.” (Vince Lombardi)
Winning is contagious. Each win builds momentum and can lead to others like a snowball rolling downhill. The key is figuring out how to keep winning to create success-momentum in your life. Here are some tips for developing winning habits:
1. Develop a strategic plan. “Discipline without direction is drudgery.” (Donald Whitney). Focus on the long-term goal, so you can move past short-term pain. When you have those bouts of laziness or discouragement, use your vision to get your focus back.
2. Don’t procrastinate, start now. Avoidance delays or prevents your success.
3. Embrace the inconvenient. Don’t run from difficulty. Do what others won’t so that one day you can do what others can’t.
4. Do what works. Stop doing what doesn’t work. Learn from your own and others’ mistakes.
5. Work hard behind the scenes, so you can shine brightly under the spotlight. Practicing in private allows you to perform your best in public.
6. Sharpen your skills. Don’t settle for good, when you can get better. Yesterday’s “great” may not be good enough for today.
7. Commit daily to learning, growing and challenging yourself to get better.
8. Fight to the finish line. You can’t win if you don’t finish. Don’t cheat yourself or those who will benefit from your win.

Choose to Win

Unfortunately, people can also develop the habit of losing just like they can develop the habit of winning. They get used to failure or self-sabotaging ways and begin to expect these negative patterns to continue. Although it’s sometimes hard to stay focused on winning, don't give yourself excuses or blame others for you not achieving your goals.

Successful people don’t solely rely on happenstance or good fortune for their success. They win consistently because they operate with discipline, diligence, passion, and perseverance. They take the time to develop winning habits that apply to their relationships, career and personal pursuits.

Winning is a learned behavior. You can develop the necessary habits to win repeatedly. Do whatever it takes to win!

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

Marriage: More Than Just A Lifestyle Option

I am currently reading a publication called A Guy’s Guide To Marrying Well. The first part of this publication has really captured my attention and I want to share an excerpt with you.

Marriage: More Than Just A Lifestyle Option

According to the Bible, marriage is not primarily about our self-esteem and personal fulfillment, nor is it just one lifestyle option among others. The Bible is clear in presenting a picture of marriage that is rooted in the glory of God made evident in creation itself…

From Genesis to Revelation, the Bible assumes that marriage is normative for human beings. The responsibilities, duties, and joys of marriage are presented as matters of spiritual significance. From a Christian perspective, marriage must never be seen as a mere human invention – an option for those who choose such a high level of commitment – for it is an arena in which God’s glory is displayed in the right ordering of the man and the woman, and their glad reception of all that marriage means, gives and requires.

Albert Mohler, Jr.

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Workplace Topic of the Week – 2/16/2009

Have you ever, would you consider or would you demand that you live with someone prior to committing to a marriage relationship with him/her? If yes, why do you feel this way? If not, why are you opposed?

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A Single Woman's V-Day Thoughts

As a single woman in today’s society, Valentine’s Day is one of the most dreaded days of the year. This is the day where, to the world, your worth is revealed. Girl, she didn’t get any flowers is equivalent to not having a man or he’s just not a good one for not ‘showing’ his love through material possessions.

It is a difficult feeling to overcome, but we must be strong and know that during this season of singleness we all have one objective-to please God. The worldly pressure we receive do not equate to the love we feel from the spirit. More often than not, we are placing ourselves in a box and allowing our spirits to be drained knowing that we are without a companion.

I’d like to challenge all single women who are feeling a little down today. Why are you feeling that way? Have you placed the priorities of your life in the incorrect order? Where is your spiritual love for the Father and does it outweigh that love you seek from a man? When you look over your life and have wasted time pursuing, chasing, and hunting a man, the One you need has been with you the entire time. As a matter of fact, He gets a little angry when we don’t give Him all of our attention. When we decide to take these matters of the heart into our own hands, is when it all goes downhill.

When we desire to have a mental, physical and emotional relationship with a man we must gauge the level of that same type of relationship with our Father. It happens in the same way. God shows us His unfiltered, unconditional love. He courts us. He wants an intimate relationship with us. He knows us mentally. He knows our physical needs. Once we recognize that we can return that same intense love to Him. Take a look at yourself. What is that you want to be? How are you going to get to that goal? Our ability to grow in our Father/Daddy relationships is totally dependant on the way we accept ourselves.

I once read that the key elements to a growing relationship are: 1) Humility, 2) Appreciation, 3) Acceptance, 4) Responsiveness, 5) Trusting and 6) Being Secure. Accept your faults and embrace your qualities. Be at peace with where you are in life. Celebrate for yourself. Love yourself and you will be loved!

- By AProsperingSoul

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My Special Valentine's Day Date!

This weekend is going to be awesome! I just confirmed a date with someone I know very well. This person also knows everything about me. This person has been with me through the ups and downs of my life. This person knows how to finish the statements I creatively contemplate in my mind. This person has seen the good and bad of my relationships and worked through the healing process of hurt.

I have the perfect outing planned for us too. We are attending church tomorrow night at 6:00PM. That will be followed immediately by a nice dinner outing at an urban bistro. After sharing thoughts over a nice entrée, the night will conclude with a time of wonderful relaxation. It’s great to spend time with someone who is 100% behind your personal goals and aspirations.

My Valentine’s Day Date will be with ME, MYSELF and I! If you cannot learn to enjoy and appreciate yourself, then you will never be prepared for the ONE God wants to send into your life. Don’t let commercialized holidays define who you are, be willing to enjoy life no matter what season you are in. Life is short…so enjoy it!


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Mirror Mirror: Success is a Lifestyle, Not an Achievement - By Paul Wilson, Jr.

Most people are familiar with the fairy tale of Snow White. In this story, her beautiful, yet vain stepmother queen had a magic mirror, which could answer the questions that the queen asked of it. Of course, the most well-known question that she would ask was, "Mirror, mirror upon the wall, who is the fairest of all?" Initially, the mirror would tell her that she was. However, as time went on Snow White became more beautiful and the mirror began to answer that she was more beautiful than the queen. At this point the jealous queen became furious and wanted to kill Snow White.

How does this story relate to you? Success is a never-ending pursuit. You must embrace the fact that as good as you might be today, eventually someone will come along who is a little bit better. They might be smarter, more experienced, better qualified, more creative, bigger network, etc. Regardless, if you aren't continually getting better, your success will eventually come to an end. The moment you think that you have “arrived” (i.e., “I’m the best and can’t get any better.”) is the moment that you start to decline.

Corporations often learn this the hard way. Many companies that existed 10 or 20 years ago are not around today. The fact is a lot of them had their customers taken by start-up businesses they overlooked or dismissed as insignificant. Furthermore, many that exist today have had to drastically change their business models to stay competitive in the marketplace.

Successful people are proactive. They don’t wait until they are threatened by their competition to start focusing on getting better. By then it could be too late.

Successful people engage in a continuous improvement lifestyle. They view their past and present experiences as building blocks not a plateau. They understand that if they want to sustain their success, they don't have time to rest on yesterday's achievements or today's accolades.

The world around you is not stagnant, so you can’t afford to be stagnant in terms of developing your skills, enhancing your experience, and building your network. Every day you must be willing to look in the mirror to assess the good, the bad, and the indifferent. Acknowledge the truth. Identify your needs. Then go to work on yourself.

The pursuit of personal and professional development is a race that never ends. As the African proverb states, "… It doesn't matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle. When the sun comes up, you better start running!"

Dream B.I.G.,

Paul Wilson, Jr.

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The Celibacy Struggle

It is amazing how the flesh constantly wars against the spirit. I have been going through a back and forth tug-of-war with my body yearning for what it cannot have and my spirit telling me to chill out because I know what’s right. The past month has been quite an intense experience dealing with this component of my life. Anyone who has tasted the forbidden fruit of sex and intimacy understands that it can become negatively addictive when it is experienced outside of God’s plan. Unfortunately, the majority of men and women fall into this category and are left joining themselves with various suitors because of the ‘feeling’ and not because of ‘purpose’. Because of my promiscuous sexual history, I am now left with the ‘thorn’ in my flesh of continuously trying to weather the ups and downs of sexual urges that sometimes feel like raging internal battles. When you begin to think about past experiences, feelings and visuals, it becomes that much harder to resist the flesh. Fortunately, God positions us in battles that can only be fought off by way of the spiritual foundation of His Word. Paul illustrates this continual tug of war best in Romans 7:14-20, referencing the ongoing battle between flesh and spirit. In addition, I’d like to offer a couple of verses that should be committed to the mind, heart and spirit of any unmarried individual seeking a life of celibacy.

1 Corinthians 6:18 (Pertaining to our bodies)
18 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

1 Corinthians 10:13 (Temptation)
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

1 Corinthians 7:9 (If you cannot control your desires)
9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

We will all mistakes throughout our spiritual journeys, but the goal is to continuously seek God’s guidance. It is also imperative to lean on His Word daily in order to fight off the many urges and situations that may be presented in our lives. We must also take accountability for our actions and behaviors, knowing that we should not make deliberate decisions that put us in the midst of compromising situations. Let me encourage you to take this celibacy journey one day at a time and celebrate the little victories along the way!

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Relationship Hangover

I have a friend who feels like his emotions are involved in a real life tennis match. Everyday his feelings go back and forth about a young lady he has been in and out of a relationship with.

He recently had a relapse which I advised him against, but the heart provides a devious source of life-direction. The unfortunate reality of it all is...bouncing in and out of relationship with the same person is detrimental to both individuals’ healing and growth processes.

Have you ever had a serious relapse while trying to get over an ex? Was it because you simply missed the person, because you felt convicted about your contribution to the failure of the relationship, or because you were struggling to move on with your life?

Have can you tell when a relationship is clearly over?

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Kind of Pissed About This... by A Prospering Soul

As I sit here typing this blog, I have the urges to call someone and say, “Hey, I am not sure why you keep doing the things that you’re doing but they’re making me feel like ‘you are into me.” The only thing holding me back is that immediate response that could possibly be rejection. But I still need to know what is he really thinking and why is he make the choice not to say anything to me, because I know he has to like me, right?? Why do we always want what seems right for us, what we think is good for us but we know it’s not God’s will? Why do we continue to allow ourselves to go through unnecessary heartache and pain because of something a man has never said? This can’t be the way God intended this love thing to work.

The independence of modern day women has caused us to forget our places in life. Men are born to be leaders, priest, providers and protectors of the family unit. Knowing this, you should ask yourself do you really want to be with a man who can’t make a decision as to whether or not he going to express his feelings towards you? Are you creating a pseudo-relationship that will leave you heartbroken and bitter? Is it him that I am really wanting or am I wanting the fantasy of having a relationship?

When our lives are succumbed by the action and moves and responses of a man, we need to take a step back to check ourselves. Am I seeking the Father first? Am I wholeheartedly submitting my life to Christ and allowing Him to move and make the decisions or have I decided to take the wheel? When you seek God, things will line up in the way he sees fit for your life and that is usually not the way you see things. In all that we do we must “…seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matt. 6:33. When we seek his Kingdom, His ways become our ways and we will never settle for anything less than what our Father has to offer. As women, we must learn to guard our hearts at all times and never underestimate the power of the Father. He will give us the desires of our hearts as his word says and when he does, it will be more than we could ever imagine!


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Conquer F.E.A.R. by Paul Wilson, Jr.

This is an excerpt from my forthcoming book:

Dream B.I.G. in 3D: How to Pursue a Bold, Innovative, God-Inspired Life! (available March 2009)

Many people never accomplish great things in their lives, not because they didn’t have the ability, but because of fear. For some people it’s the fear of failure. But for others, it’s the fear of success, as in “how will the people who I am closest to treat me if I advance beyond where they are?” Success or greatness requires you to be different, special. It requires you to stand out from the crowd, to be a difference maker. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that God has created you to be special and to do great things. You can’t let fear stand in the way of what God has for you.

There are four key components to conquering your fears:

1. Focus on God. You are going to have trouble in this world. Count on it. The question is how will you respond? Will you be peeved or will you praise? Will you pout or pray? Will you worry or worship? The only difference between worry and worship is that with worry enlarges your problems in comparison to God, while worship enlarges God in comparison to your situation. Keep your eyes focused on Him.

2. Evaluate the obstacle. God is bigger than any challenge that could prevent you from accomplishing your dreams. I can’t, but God can. Identify what you’re up against, but also recognize that you have already won. Everything else pales in comparison to God.

3. Attack the enemy “in-a-me”. You have to overcome the enemies inside of you, before you can successfully defeat the enemies outside of you. Many times you are your own worst enemy. It’s not the “Man” or somebody else’s fault for your situation. Many times it’s YOU! Internal enemies include fear, pride, lack of integrity, and tendency to self-sabotage in pressure situations. Even Jesus had to deal with fear and the temptation to quit. The Bible (1 Cor. 10:13) says that there is no temptation that we deal with that Jesus didn’t deal with. He can relate to us. It is not a sin to be tempted. It is a sin to give in to the temptation. Don’t give in to the temptation to quit on your dreams no matter how difficult things may seem.

4. Respond to the challenge. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is acknowledging it and doing what you have to do anyway. You must make a decision to move forward no matter what it looks like. When you have the Father on your side, there is no need to fear, because He said He would never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

So, what are you afraid of? Whatever it is, you need to submit it to God and move forward with what He has put in your heart to do.

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So Fresh and So Pure by Michelle Bonilla

Left Over Love

Ever wonder why it’s so hard to forget your first love? Picture someone carving a message onto stone. We all know what happens when something is carved in stone don’t we? It’s there for life and so are our hormones. In women, a hormone called Oxytocin, which is derived from Petosin, is released during three phases in a woman’s life 1) during intercourse 2) during childbirth and 3) during breast feeding.

This particular hormone allows for the woman to make these kinds of memories more memorable. It’s connected to our heart and emotions so during a break-up things can get pretty ugly. Oxytocin, often called the “Love Hormone,” is responsible for women not being able to forget their first love. It is it also one of the reasons some women find themselves going back to unhealthy relationships.

Let me give you a scenario; Ruth tells her girlfriend Beth “Girl why do you keep on going back to him? He has no right to treat you that way!” And Beth says “but I love him!” Sound familiar? Not only do we know Beth, some of us are Beth. We hang on despite what our friends, family, conscience and even the Bible says about the man in our life. Giving in to lustful desires of the flesh blur the hearts vision and can cause you to become emotionally handicap. There are many “Beth’s” who are latched onto guys they wouldn’t otherwise be with if they hadn’t had sex.

It is said that women are emotional but men are visual. They respond to what they see and are persuaded often by what’s right in front of them. So when a man sees an attractive woman his natural instinct is to look. In a society where women are objectified and painted by the media as vixens and fantastical creatures, it’s not that hard to admit that a straight man whether married or single will indeed look. Here’s why the struggle continues.

Epinephrine, also known as adrenaline, is the hormone responsible for the reproduction of sexual thoughts in a man. A concept is being built in his mind of what’s attractive to him and at any given moment he can reproduce that memory. It’s like being online and hitting the download button. So what’s the difference between a saved man and an unsaved man? Jesus! and that’s it. A relationship with Christ brings hope to any man or woman struggling with this issue. Believing that a Christian man doesn’t struggle with sex is a myth. He’s still human and thoughts from the past don’t just wash out like the laundry.

So how do we work this out? If these hormones are innate and these reactions instinctual then how can we help ourselves? The answer is found in the Holy Scriptures. The Bible tells us that marriage was designed by God for a man and woman to have the ultimate relationship. It is taking friendship to its maximum; and making love is the icing on the cake. This sacred act was designed specifically to stay within the confines of marriage. Therefore, according to Ephesians 5, sexual relations outside the marriage bed will not receive God’s blessing. All the emotions both partners were meant to experience are supposed to be shared between a husband and a wife (1 Corinthians 7). To wait for the one you love is one of the toughest exams to pass but True Love indeed waits.

The hormone is not your only hindrance --You are

God expects us to be human and he understands us down to the very core of our genetic make-up, but he wants us to treat our bodies like a temple that is undefiled. Sin is part of our everyday lives. We were born sinful and as long as we are in this fleshly vessel our sin nature will wage war within us from time to time (Romans 7). However, the apostle Paul tells us that through the Holy Spirit we have the strength to over come that nature and we don’t have to be a slave to it. Although we sin in thought, word, deed, and action we can overcome our circumstances by bringing our whole person captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Meditating on God and getting a daily dose of His word is the best way to keep your thoughts from running wild.

We are creatures of habit and what we’ve always done we will always want to do. This is where we need to exercise self control. Peter says “Be ye self controlled….” We ought not to sin against our bodies because we would be polluting the House of the Holy Spirit. In 1 Peter, we are also told to “Be holy for I am Holy.” God is mandating his people to be set apart. Giving in to the desires of the flesh incorporates us into a world that is governed by Satan’s lies and our own selfish desires. It will take a concentrated effort on your part and Trust in God’s word to help put your past behind. You will never completely forget your past but knowing that “He who has begun a good work in you shall complete it until the day of Christ” ought to be an inspiration. You’re not fighting on your own. Rather you are transferring the situation to Christ who has already worked out the situation on your behalf.

Practicing abstinence and remaining pure before marriage is not a common choice among people our age today; and sadly enough it‘s not a common choice among Christians. Society tells us that what feels good, we ought to do even if it means destroying ourselves emotionally and physically in the process. Fortunately, we don’t have to succumb to the ways of this world. Let’s look at UPN’s show Girlfriends or HBO’s Sex and the City. The shows might be hilarious to watch and maybe even keep our interest enough to watch the whole season; however they are portraying very real relational problems with very unrealistic solutions. As a Christian solving your problems by giving into your desires doesn’t help, it actually complicates life as we observe episode after episode.

Aside from knowing God is not pleased with promiscuity, we also have to take into consideration the drama we bring upon ourselves by not choosing to wait. Let’s go back to Beth one more time. Let’s say she chose to move on from her abusive relationship. Not only would she have a hard time leaving her ex- boyfriend, but in the event that she was to find “true” love, it might be a struggle to accept. Her potential husband may be a God-fearing man who cares for her and treats her with respect, but Beth may not be able to get rid of the hurt and pain of her past relationship. As a result she may wind up destroying what God has given her. The many complications that arise from past sexual relationships can greatly affect our future relationships. That is why scripture is specific about the marriage bed remaining undefiled.

Thankfully there is a God whose mercy and Grace are able to keep us form falling and able to pick us up if we do fall. We have the hope that God is able to restore us if we make the error of having sex before marriage. Scripture says “A just man falls seven times...” Having the understanding that we don’t have to remain in sin but overcome it is a powerful tool against the enemy. If we can realize that Christ has already forgiven us then we can move on with our lives. Renewing our minds with that knowledge will help keep us focused and moving forward. God is more concerned with our growth than he is our failures.

Hopefully the next time sexual temptation presents itself, you’ll think twice before going there. Not only will your hormones lie to you but so will your heart (1 John 3:21). If there ever comes a time where you really want to settle down you and your mate will have plenty of baggage to sift through. I’m not sure about you, but when I get married I don’t think I want to carry that bag home along with the rest of my groceries.

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Workplace Topic of the Week – 2/2/2009

How do you respond to scenarios that point to potential cheating or infidelity?

It is often easy to jump to conclusions when it comes to the behavior or evidence found against a significant other or spouse. However, how valid is the conclusion without actual proof to wrong behavior taking place? When questionable behavior takes place, is the person innocent until proven guilty? Or is he/she guilty until proven innocent?

Please consider the following scenarios:
1) How would you react if you found a telephone number in the pocket of your significant other or spouse?
2) How would you respond if you saw a man or woman being borderline ‘too friendly’ with your significant other or spouse?
3) How would you respond if you found a condom in the purse, pocket or wallet of your significant other or spouse?
4) How would you respond to a situation where your significant other is constantly working late and doesn’t answer phone calls?


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