Click the Banner Below to Listen to Chat Kafe w/KP

The Truth About Sex Series Begins
Sunday, May 31, 2009 at 6:00PM

Listen to Chat Kafe W/KP on Blog Talk Radio

The Breakfast of Dreamers

What do B.I.G. Dreamers eat?

You are what you eat. That phrase is probably older than I am. As cliché as it may sound, it’s very true. If you eat junk food all the time, you’re going to feel like junk. The opposite is true too. If you eat healthy all the time, your body will respond appropriately.

That phrase doesn’t just apply to natural food. It also applies to your mental consumption habits. B.I.G. Dreamers understand they can’t eat anything and expect to have healthy, motivational, and progressive thoughts and actions. Your thoughts drive your beliefs, which drive your actions, which drive your lifestyle, which will determine your destiny. Therefore, your thoughts have to be in alignment with the direction that you want to move. Otherwise, you are impeding your own progress.

Your thoughts are a product of your environment and influences. These include all the sources of information and entertainment that you see, listen to (intentional), hear (passive), and read. All the people, places, and media with which you interact constitute to your mental food diet.

Let’s see what an extremely wise ancient Hebrew writer has to say about this topic:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Let’s take a closer look at these mental food groups:
- True: Real, authentic, genuine, legitimate
- Noble: Honorable, decent, reputable
- Right: Virtuous, moral, ethical
- Pure: Uncontaminated, wholesome, clean, honest
- Lovely: Attractive, appealing, pleasant, superb
- Admirable: Exemplary, commendable, respectable
- Excellent: First-class, exceptional, matchless
- Praiseworthy: Superb, righteous, wholesome

As you consider the conversations, media, and other sources of mental food that you eat, how do they measure up to this list?

Know yourself. Feed yourself.

I have a confession to make. I struggle with this topic, especially as it relates to media. One of my issues is that I’m a big fan of the cop-murder-mystery TV shows, such as CSI (all versions), NCIS, Law & Order, etc. You might be thinking, “what’s the big deal with those?”

Part of my calling/purpose is to pour “life” into people by equipping them to maximize their potential through motivational speaking, life coaching and business consulting. If I spend an inordinate amount of time watching stuff that is steeped in “death,” I am eating the total opposite of what I’m trying to produce. In essence, my media intake can give me mental constipation, restricting my creativity and effectiveness. Consequently, it will be harder for me to provide life-inspired ideas, suggestions, or motivation to those who are expecting and needing it from me.

Take an inventory of your current mental health diet. Just like it’s hard to change our food habits, it’s also hard to change our mental consumption habits. Understand, though, that it’s for your good. You will be much better off when your thoughts are unencumbered and free to flow in the area where you need them to be current, fresh, and creative.

From now on, eat like a B.I.G. Dreamer!
Paul Wilson, Jr.

Learn how to be a B.I.G. Dreamer with my book, Dream B.I.G. in 3D: How to Pursue a Bold, Innovative, God-Inspired Life! Get is here: www.DreamBIGin3D.com

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Thoughtful Conclusions About Commitment

This article was sent to me today and I found it to be very interesting. Please enjoy!
__________________________
Deciding Whether To Marry



Though we may make many commitments throughout our time on earth, few have a lifelong impact on the path our lives will take. The decision to marry someone you love 'to bond yourself to them completely' is unlike any other and can reshape your existence. When two people have similar goals, values, and needs, marriage can result in a lifetime partnership of love and respect, shared laughter and tears, friendship, and intimacy that is ultimately fulfilling. Love is often cited as the sole prerequisite of a strong and stable married life. However, the decision to get married should be made with the mind and the soul as well as with the heart. Carefully considering whether you truly want to get married, both individually and as a couple, can ensure that if you do choose to marry, your relationship can grow to unimaginable depths.

The decision-making process you employ to determine whether you should marry should be a thoughtful and honest one in which you appraise not only your partner but also yourself. Consider that love and attraction do not guarantee long-term compatibility. If your relationship is not secure, marriage will not make it so. Likewise, if your partner is not as attentive, loving, or kind as you would like, your becoming spouses will not change that. Marriage has no power to permanently fill any emotional or spiritual gaps in your life. Before you choose to marry, ask yourself whether you and your partner are adept at resolving conflict, can speak openly to one another, and fully respect one another. Your attitudes regarding the nature of marital commitment, children and child rearing, and marital roles may be the same or they may differ. It is your shared responsibility to discuss your similarities and come to agreements regarding your differences that will predict how successful your future marriage will be. Often times, younger couples rush into marriage just for the wedding dress, the ring, the party, and honeymoon. Would you still be willing to be married if you couldn't have these things?

Remember that planning a wedding is simple when compared to the intricacies of nurturing a marriage. The honeymoon and nesting period will eventually wear off, and what you are left with is a partner for life. When you work together with your partner, reassure and support one another, and are honest about your feelings regarding marriage, you'll come to the right decision.

--Author Unknown

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Chat Kafe w/KP Online Radio Show - May 31st at 6:00PM on BlogTalkRadio.com

T-6 Days and Counting Until the Official Launch of the Chat Kafe w/KP Online Radio Show!!

Stay tuned for more details...


Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Keeping Your Brand Real

It’s amazing to me how the practice of branding has gained such incredible prominence for businesses, organizations, and individuals. Branding has such a buzz that it seems like it has created its own industry. The heightened attention given to this business practice has even created specialized branding job descriptions, such as strategist, coach, consultant, promoter, and developer.

With all the hype that branding is getting many people miss the fact that branding is often just another word for image management. Our society is obsessed with image. We fall in love with things that look good even when they aren’t substantial. Even the people that are the most popular, who are supposedly “keeping it real”, often are well-manicured facades.

What happens though when an organization or individual spends more time and resources enhancing their brand image versus developing the character or integrity of their brand?

Whether people want to admit it or not, a brand that masks character or integrity issues is similar to a building with a faulty foundation. It could come crashing down at any time!

Over the past few years we have seen too many businesses and individuals whose brand communicated one thing, but their behavior displayed something totally different. That’s the quickest way to lose fans, followers, supporters, or customers. People who placed their trust either in you personally or your brand feel violated. And it’s even harder to rebuild trust after messing up than it is to build it initially.

I started wearing glasses when I was in the 6th or 7th grade. Some people started calling me “four eyes”. From a personal branding standpoint, that’s not a good thing for a middle schooler.

Although it wasn’t great then, fortunately I now see the value and benefit of having “Four I’s” - for my eyesight and my brand. Here are four steps to help you develop a solid foundation that will support and enhance your brand:

1. Identify your character flaws.
2. Investigate the reasons for your character flaws.
3. Invest time and resources into your character development.
4. Invite relationships that will refine you.

The fact is that it’s actually easier to maintain a brand when it’s a legitimate representation of the person or organization.

So don’t allow the brand that you are projecting to be a lie or collapse waiting to happen. Be genuine. Be authentic. Be proactive in developing the integrity behind your brand. That’s the best way to “keep it real!”

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

God of ‘Another Opportunity’!

As I sit here in front of my computer reading up on the release of Michael Vick to complete the remainder of his 23-month sentence, I am still taken aback by the number of people who still believe he should not be allowed to continue the life he lived as a professional football player. Is it not enough to publicly lie and get caught? Is it not enough to humiliate and embarrass yourself, your family, and your friends along the way? Is it not enough to lose millions of dollars and assets as a consequence for bad decisions? Is it not enough to serve 23-months in jail as punishment for being convicted on the charges brought against you?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not condoning what Michael Vick did because he was wrong on many fronts. However, I do think justice was served, he has done the penalty time issued to him, and he should be granted another opportunity to get his life back. The court of public opinion enjoys continual judgment, even when the ‘penalty’ has been paid. This story is no different than many of our own lives. We have all made decisions in the past that have caused us to be punished, but there are still folks out there who won’t let our past decisions/mistakes go.

As I continue to reflect on the Michael Vick story, I’m excited to know that God is not like man because He doesn’t hold things over our heads. God is just in punishing us as His children for some of the bad decisions we make, but offers us the opportunity to repent of our sins and re-align ourselves with Him. Our fellowship with God may be temporarily severed, but our relationship with Him remains in tact. Who is man to say that the penalty wasn’t stiff enough? Who is man to say that once the penalty has been served, you must remain in bondage forever? Who is man to say anything when we all have done our share of things to be ashamed of? Matthew 7:1-5 says, “1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Notice I titled this entry God of ‘Another Opportunity’! Most people get caught-up in talking about second chances, but truth be told, we all used up our second chances many years ago. God allows His children to make mistakes, but doesn’t permanently disown us from His will. We call this a true RELATIONSHIP! I thank God for the fact that He didn’t disown me while I was out clubbin’ and doing things that didn’t glorify Him. Thanks God for another opportunity! I thank God for not allowing me to get someone pregnant during my time of sowing my ‘royal oats’ as a bachelor. Thanks God for another opportunity! I thank God that when people around me try to bring up old stuff, I can count on You to keep me focused on the future and not dwell on the past. Thanks for another opportunity! I thank God He allowed me to repent for the decisions of my past life and offered me a clean slate for my future. Thanks God for another opportunity! I am not the only who should be thankful, enter your reason to thank God right here ____________________________________________!!!

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Chat Kafe with KP Online Radio Show - May 31st at 6:00PM

T-13 Days and Counting Until the Official Launch of the Chat Kafe with KP Online Radio Show!!

Stay tuned for more details...


Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Unequally Yoked - Who's In Your Fave 5?

I can say with absolute certainty that most people within the sound of my literary voice are connected to some folks who are detrimental to their growth and development. To be unequally yoked means to be connected or tied to someone who does not have the same beliefs, desires and/or goals as you. Many misinterpret this idea as only being relevant to marriage relationships. However, this idea of being unequally yoked applies to marriage relationships, business partnerships, family relationships as well as personal friendships.

Why is it important to avoid being unequally yoked to others in your life?

1. It Provides A False Positive - Do people keep disappointing you? It could be because you are trying to find comfort in associations that seem good externally, but they are destructive and counter-productive to you internally and emotionally. You will recognize false-positive individuals because they make you feel good, but their motives aren’t beneficial to your overall well-being. Release yourself from individuals who talk a good game, but never bring fulfillment to their many promises. Make sure you have at least one ‘true positive’ influence in your Fav 5.

2. It Promotes Fatigue In Your Life - Do you feel tired? It could be because you are tired from carrying too many people in your life. In order to maintain a positive energy, you need people in your life that will encourage you. God designed us all to operate most effectively when we have sails in our inner circle and not anchors. People who are unequally yoked will cause you unnecessary emotional fatigue and work to drive you crazy (family members included). No wonder many of you are constantly tired...you are being worn out from carrying everyone around you. Release the dead weight from your inner circle and ensure you keep some ‘sails’ as part of your Fave 5.

3. It Prohibits You From Reaching Your Potential - Are you wondering why you are still at the same place in life? It could be because you are surrounded by people who are complacent and their mindset has rubbed off on you. It is no coincidence that birds of a feather typically flock together. Your goal should be to surround yourself with individuals who are continually trying to better themselves. Wouldn’t it be a tragedy for you to never reach your potential because of the company you keep? Realign the people in your life so you can reach the aspirations that are waiting to be birthed from inside of you. It is a must to replace ‘stinking thinking’ individuals with those aspiring to reach higher heights. You definitely need people who are above your current level of aspirations in your Fave 5. They will keep you working to achieve more in your life.

When you allow yourself to be unequally yoked to those who don’t add value, you receive false positives, you experience fatigue in your life and your life potential is stunted. Why allow yourself to go through this when you have the ability to change and control your associations?

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

“Where are you?” by Paul Wilson, Jr.

Have you ever been in the mall and had to use the directory to see how to get to your desired store? After looking all over the sitemap, you see a big colored arrow jumping at you, almost shouting, “You are here!” However, after initially looking at the “You are here” sign, you are still a little confused, because you don’t know exactly where “here” is. You have to look a bit longer to identify the stores and other things near you to be confident you can move in the right direction from “here” to where you want to go.

I’m sure most of us have done that. The interesting thing about those sitemaps and our lives is that “You are here” means nothing if you don’t know where “here” is.

If I asked you the question “Where are you?” as it relates to your station in life and not your geographic location, what would you say?

“Where are you?” is a difficult question that needs to be answered by every person who aspires to achieve great things. It has internal and external implications, because it demands answers from you in terms of your mental, emotional, relational, spiritual, physical and financial conditions.

How can you “do you” if you don’t really know you?

Your ability to answer difficult questions about yourself reveals how well you really know yourself. See how quickly you can answer the following questions:
- How would you define yourself without your relationships, job title, or educational degree?
- What is your personal mission statement?
- How do you assess your overall progress in life?
- What do you want said about after you die?
- What do you want to be your ultimate contribution in life?

The more easily you can answer these questions the better you know yourself. If it was hard for you to answer, that probably means you have some more studying to do – of yourself!

Most people equate busyness with success. They rush through life towards goals and dreams without ever intentionally stopping and assessing if all the activities they engage in are really contributing toward a meaningful and lasting purpose.

A life of significance doesn’t happen by accident. Legacies that positively impact multiple generations are not typically created by people who stumble upon them.
Take some time today to pause and consider who you really are and if what you’re doing is truly worthwhile. Ask yourself the hard questions. You might be surprised what your answers tell you.

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.
B.I.G. Dreams are coming soon to a mind near you!
www.DreamBIGin3D.com

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Stop De-valuing Your ‘Jimmy’!!

A couple of months ago I had the opportunity to catch-up with an old friend of mine who is now a professor at Georgetown University. Our discussion picked-up as if we’ve had regular conversation over the past ten years, which had not been the case. Our conversation focused on my ministry dealing with relationships. He posed an interesting question that caused me to stop and reflect for moment. He asked, “Why is a woman’s body considered the prize?” I actually found the question quite odd, but at the same time definitely relevant. Many of us (men) have been taught that a woman’s body is the prize, dessert or night cap to winning her over. However, during the process of trying to prescribe a woman’s body as the reward, we fail to teach women how to adequately guard their hearts, which often leads to the release of their bodies. That’s a whole different blog discussion.

Even more puzzling is this. During the process of elevating a woman’s societal prized possession (her body) as the goal, we are neglecting to teach young boys and young men to treasure their bodies as prizes too. Media and entertainment offer ongoing messages to our younger generation that cause them to become curious about their sexuality. At 12 and 13 years of age, young boys are exploring outlets to learn more about sex and in the process no one is saying anything. Fathers will slap high five with their son upon learning about their son’s first sexual encounter. I wonder if we would do the same thing to our daughters who are often the victims of these encounters? Beginning at very young ages, young boys begin putting miles on their bodies which starts the gradual decrease in their long-term value. We need to start teaching young men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

Men are programmed at very early ages that our body’s value is based on quantity of women we sleep with and we begin operating in such a manner to substantiate this theory. It is no longer uncommon for men to have lost their virginity by the age of 13. Should lost virginities really be celebrated at this age? We need to start teaching men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

It is no coincidence that many marriages fail due to infidelity and I personally believe this can be traced back to imbalanced teachings on the value of sex and our bodies. If the family, church, community and school systems would ever come together in unity to reinforce this message, I believe it will have a positive impact in the turn around of our society. We need to start teaching men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

It works sort of like a used car. A used automobile is often purchased at a price based on year, make and model. However, the wild card is often the number of miles the vehicle currently has on it…the higher the mileage, the lower the value. Similarly, women join with men in marriage (spiritual purchase). Each husband has a certain year (age), make (ethnicity), model (size, shape, etc.), but the mileage varies based on experience. The more mileage a man puts on his ‘jimmy’, the lower in value it can become. The greater the mileage put on his ‘jimmy’, the more difficult it is for him to understand its true value outside of the ‘seek and conquer’ mentality.

I don’t know your thoughts, but we really need to start teaching men to ‘stop de-valuing their jimmy!’

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Who’s on Your A-Team? by Paul Wilson, Jr.

The other day I was thinking about one of my favorite TV shows from the 80’s, “The A-Team”. If you’re not familiar with this great action drama, the A-Team was a 4-man team who worked as soldiers of fortune while being on the run from the military for a "crime they didn't commit" (see Wikipedia for more info).

What was interesting about the A-Team is they all had different strengths. The leader of the group, “Hannibal”, was the mastermind of many of their well-concocted plans of rescuing the oppressed from their tormentors. “Face” was a smooth-talking conman, who creatively acquired (i.e. stole) vehicles and other items needed for Hannibal’s far-fetched schemes. “Murdock” was certified as insane, but the one thing he could do exceptionally well was pilot aircraft of any kind. The fourth man on the team was Mr. T, whose character was “B.A.” He was the mean-talking, temper-flaring mechanic who could fix or build just about anything.

As I reflected on that show, I thought about the guys on that team and how different they were from each other. They all had vastly different strengths, personalities, skills sets, interests, etc. However, they shared two common goals – 1) helping people who were being taken advantage of and 2) staying out of prison. No matter what personality conflicts and differences they had, when it came to accomplishing those two goals, they were able to put aside their disagreements to focus on their common enemy and execute the task at hand.

What about you? Who’s on your “A-Team”? Who are you close to that play specific roles in your life that you’re incapable of doing or don’t have the capacity to do?

For you to accomplish great things, you need more than confidence and competence. You also need capacity. The reality is that your capacity is limited. You need people to partner with you to help you reach your goals while you’re helping them reach theirs.

Why spend your time trying to master an area that’s not your natural talent. If you’re not very creative, find someone who is. If you are not a good researcher, find someone who is. If you’re not a good designer, find someone who is. If you’re not a good presenter, find someone is. Learn how to leverage other’s strengths.

Often times these people are right under our noses, but we ignore or dismiss them because of personality conflicts, pride or other frivolous reasons. You were not created and given a purpose by God to try to accomplish your dreams alone. Don’t let petty differences stand in the way of your greatness.

No one is an island. Find your “A-Team” and you’ll find it will be easier to achieve your goals. Then you’ll be able to proclaim like Hannibal always did at the end of each show, “I love it when a plan comes together!”

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.
www.paulwilsonjr.com

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

Change the Marriage Trend

Recently I had the opportunity to speak with my parents who recently celebrated their 39th wedding anniversary. As I sat and listened to them speak about the longevity of their marriage, one thing that became clear was the fact that there is no way of escaping hard work in marriage. As I listened, I realized that no matter how much I speak about keys to relationships, preparing for relationships and understanding key indicators in relationships; nothing truly substitutes for experience and hard work.

As a youngster, I remember seeing my parents argue and engage in intense debates because of differing opinions. However, they were always able to reconcile and reach a basis of understanding even if it meant agreeing to disagree. My parents’ marriage was far from perfect, and through it all they both had spiritually grounded accountability partners that could help them navigate through times when they didn’t want to be bothered with one another. As I listened and reflected, it became very apparent that throughout the duration of marriage, divorce was never an option. Even if they thought about it, it was quickly dismissed and the process of reconciliation became the primary focus.

Having seen this parent model growing up, and seeing both sets of my grandparents remain married through the tests of time, I wondered if there may be a fear of marriage failure embedded deep within me. We do live in a society that offers $300 divorces in case things don’t work out. We live in a society where the generation of broken homes is now the norm for those within the 25-45 age group. The death ‘til you part generation is quickly fading off and we are in dire need of people to take the challenge. We need to redirect our views of marriage and the impact healthy marriages have on our communities. Are you up for it? I am!

Begin viewing all of your future relationships through the lens of lifetime commitment. As your relationships become more serious, begin probing your significant other’s thoughts on marriage and whether they see it as a lifelong commitment. Let’s begin taking steps to change the disturbing trend that has now infected our society. Strong relationships lead to strong marriages. Strong marriages lead to strong families. Strong families lead to strong communities. Our households will benefit. Our communities will improve. Our lives will be blessed and God will be glorified!

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group

That's Her!

This was sent to me by one of my friends to share with the ladies of Chat Kafe!

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com

Subscribe to Chat Kafe

Email:

Visit this group