by Demetria L. Lucas
If I could, I would climb under a rock. That's the only logical way I can think of to avoid the onslaught of articles, primetime TV segments, books, and countless blog discussions lamenting "The Black Man Shortage." (TBMS)
TBMS is something like the black girl equivalent of those end of the world movies that come trotting out every three-day weekend to thrill us with CGI effects, remind us of the importance of family, and most importantly, churn out hundred million dollar returns for a big studio. Whenever anyone in media needs some sort of ratings bonanza or send their website's comments section into a frenzy, they-- the most recent being Nightline-- trot out a story about TBMS, a horrific tale of no love and lots of loss that depicts a single Black woman from [insert any urban center here] clinging to a half-empty apple martini, a Louis Vuitton Damier Speedy or a perfectly-coiffed girlfriends.
I watched the Nightline segment on YouTube the day after it aired (I was trying to avoid it, but my Blackberry Inbox blew up with emails titled "Have you seen this?") I yawned my way through all the stats that I've heard so often they run through my head like a CNN ticker:
*42% per cent of Black women aren't married;
*If every black man in America married a black woman today, one out of 12 black women still wouldn't make it down the aisle if they hoped to marry a black man;
* 70% of professional black women with B.A.s, M.D.s and J.D.s. are "still without the more elusive title: M-R-S."
Copy and past the link below to see the rest of the story... http://www.essence.com/relationships
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4 comments:
hmmmmm ... interesting video indeed :)
All I can say is this ... one must adopt a "Christian" world view which supersedes all. "Faith" does not have statistics attached. A "Christian" black woman knows full well that her Father (the Almighty Sovereign God) is the one who will truly give her away and "walk" her down the aisle ... to meet the "Christian" black man who awaits!!
I have a question...I just happen to come across your blog...Is it really important to marry in your own race if we are all indeed children of the same God? If we believe the same and have true Christian beliefs, shouldn't it be better that those are connected, not the color of our skin? I am half white, half Indian and my husband is black. But, we believe in the same things and race has rarely been a problem for us or our kids.
@Cynt...thanks for the response!
@Tara...It's only important to marry someone who is equally yoked and someone who helps you achieve God-sized goals without regard to race. We are all God's creation and those who have accepted His Son as Lord & Savior have the privilege of being His child.
As a result, I totally agree with your perspective and have changed my thoughts/beliefs in the racial divide. I do believe there are some commonalities shared between people of the same race, but believe that no limits should be place on skin color. If you find happiness in black, white, indian, or hispanic relationships, then I say GO FOR IT! :)
Uh Oh! Ya'll just blew me out the water with this one I see!! LOL :)
I "truly" understand and agree with both your perspectives, Tara and KP. Yes, being God's children makes us all created in His own image. My mom is a descendant of the white race, so I meant "no" harm as my "own" family is filled with a variety of race :)
I found the video and article "interesting" because the emphasis is placed on black woman and black men based on statistics. My respone, although strong, is from the perspective of faith as God having the final call on yoking those of the "same" race if that be their desire. KP is correct! Finding happiness is most important ... regardless of race :)
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