Here it is...
Is it realistic for a man and woman to truly be friends if one party has a deeper interest than the other? Is this detrimental to a friendship?
Will there always be a 'hopeful' thought in the mind of the person with deeper interest? How should someone address this scenario?
Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com
 |
Subscribe to Chat Kafe |
Visit this group |
Posts
.jpg)
2 comments:
If person "A" has deeper feelings for person "B" and person "B" is aware of the feelings and wants to maintain the friendship, a very honest conversation must take place. Brutal honesty is not necessary (speak truth in love), but person "A" should be left with a crystal clear view of his/her standing with person "B."
In addition, person "B" should be very mindful of further conversation and interaction with person "A." Late night conversations, deep and intimate personal details of life being shared, and continued one-on-one time should probably be avoided so that mixed messages are not sent. Words and actions must be congruent if the friendship is to flourish even under such circumstances.
Friendship may still be possible once the initial disappointment that person "A" feels is dealt with. There should be time allowed for the swelling to go down.
As far as hope is concerned, some dreams die hard, and yes, although intentions may be stated, hope may still spring eternal for person "A." This is why it is so important for person "B" to make sure that words and actions agree. We should consider our male/female interaction as that of brothers and sisters unless mutual interest exist between both parties.
I think the scenario presented above only works for two mature adults. I've had MANY cases of where person "A" (that has the deeper interest in person "B") never got over their disappointment no matter how much love the truth was spoken with. Although they approached with the spoken intentions of being person B's friend, because person B was not interested in pursuing anything romantic with person A, person A gets ghost and basically cuts off all ties with person B because they didn't get what they wanted whether it was a few months after "the talk" or a year or so.
Now all of a sudden Person B can't even get Person A on the phone at 3 o'clock in the afternoon or even to participate actively in the Ministry that Person A joined (was it because Person A didn't join the Ministry with the right intentions in the first place??) that Person B just happened to be active in. To me, a friend is a friend . . . you know, the person that you feel that you can be yourself with and talk to about any and everything and that will be there for you WHENever and WHEREver & vice versa. True, you shouldn't send mixed signals, but if I now have to censor myself way more than usual to keep you from renewing hope of something more, in my eyes the friendship really isn't there anyway. You've just dropped into the "associate" zone. Just some thoughts . . .
Post a Comment