One of the dating dilemmas I continue to go back and forth in my life deals with fully understanding what I TRULY want in my personal relationship. I have dated a variety of women in my life and they have varied in age from 7 years younger to 10 years older than me. It’s always interesting because there is a distinct difference in experience between the two age groups. I often ponder the thought of do I want a cat or a cougar? This is an interesting debate and guys often discuss the many benefits and downfalls of each. After all is said and done it basically comes down to personal preference.
In my experience, cats (my term for women near my age) offer a different level of energy and excitement that is unique for relationships. There is typically a level of life exploration and innocent pursuit associated with those who fall in this category. On the flipside, I have also experienced an enhanced level of insecurity by women who fall into this category. Unfortunately, a sense of peace, patience, focus and trust are rare, but valuable traits if and when you find these in ‘cats’.
Cougars on the other hand are traditionally more settled in their lives and have already experienced some of the things cats still pursue (night life, position in society, etc.). Cougars tend to be more seasoned with their security and don’t engage in discussions often initiated by personal paranoia (Why aren’t you answering your phone? Where have you been? Who was that woman you were talking to? etc.). Cougars are usually positioned to move very quickly in pursuit of what they want, which can be both good and bad. Men who deal with women who fall into this category need to know what they want because time for thought is usually limited. Cats allow men to string them along in relationships, even when it's obvious they won't ever progress forward. However, cougars have the potential to almost force men into premature decisions due to the race against the 'biological clock'.
At my age, if I opt to pursue a cougar, I’ll have to be prepared to move quickly in maturing the relationship, determining our marriage potential and be ready to initiate a family shortly thereafter (for cougars who don’t have children). If I pursue a cat, I'll have to be ready to deal with some of the growing pains associated with women who are still in search for their personal worth and value.
The moral of the story is this...
No matter who you deal with they will never be perfect. You have to assess each person for who they are and make a decision on whether they help take you to a place you cannot reach on your own and vice versa. Relationships are not solely about you, but a healthy compromise between two people looking to build a better future together. Don't look for perfection in your mate, but look for someone who you can always strive to love perfectly.
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2 comments:
After reading this, it's funny how I became fixated on whether I was a cat or cougar or, as I have recently learned, 'tweener.' The truth is, I pick letter (E), all of the above. I'm a cougar to guys 19 yrs old or younger, a cat to guys 36 yrs or older, and a tweener to guys 25 yrs to 35 yrs. Where I'm categorized is relative to the age of the man who is interested in me. In that case, the concept of women being cougars, cats, or tweeners is obsolete. They cancel each other out b/c we're all of these.
As for me, the only label I'm interested in being is the "one." :)
stephad19
Speaking for a womens point of view 28 yrs old. I read this as the other read also stated I am neither one of the 2 extremes I am some what in the middle. But what I find interesting is if I had to write this I have dated younger guys my age and younger. And my experience was you can not share your feelings without them thinking you want them to marry you. Most of my dating has been with older guys who think that they are "old cats" which is also annoying. I find that very few men know what they want. So what I am saying is I find very few cougars on the male side. At this point in my life I would like to date with purpose, not waste anyones time, but at the same time don't appear to be in a hurry. Any suggestions?
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