Stop Test Driving Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend!

The modern, societal idea of dating relationships is to test the waters of marriage by acting like you are married as much as possible until you both decide what you want and either get married, or until one of you decides it’s not a good fit. The latter simulates a pre-marital, emotional divorce with someone to who you have never been married.

The biblical idea of marriage holds that such a level of intimate relationship begins when you are covenantly married. True marriage is based on a covenantal view and not a contractual license. For that reason, you shouldn’t pursue deep emotional intimacy in the early stages of a relationship. It’s not that you’re being dishonest or cold, it’s simply being cautious about living out a deeper commitment than truly exists between you. Song of Songs 2:7 tells us not to awaken love before it pleases: Do not start what you cannot finish without the presence of sin.

Your goal should be prayerfully to decide whether the person you‘re dating should be the one you marry without having to go through an emotional divorce if the answer’s no.

Will there still be disappointment and emotional pain if a “biblical” dating relationship doesn’t work out? YES! Any relationship that doesn’t lead you to your desired goal has the potential for disappointment. However, the pain will be lessened by the honest, mutual, spiritual concern for one another that results when two people treat one another like brothers and sisters in Christ first, and potential spouses second. This is for the protection of everyone involved and ultimately glorifies God!

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Cat or Cougar?

One of the dating dilemmas I continue to go back and forth in my life deals with fully understanding what I TRULY want in my personal relationship. I have dated a variety of women in my life and they have varied in age from 7 years younger to 10 years older than me. It’s always interesting because there is a distinct difference in experience between the two age groups. I often ponder the thought of do I want a cat or a cougar? This is an interesting debate and guys often discuss the many benefits and downfalls of each. After all is said and done it basically comes down to personal preference.

In my experience, cats (my term for women near my age) offer a different level of energy and excitement that is unique for relationships. There is typically a level of life exploration and innocent pursuit associated with those who fall in this category. On the flipside, I have also experienced an enhanced level of insecurity by women who fall into this category. Unfortunately, a sense of peace, patience, focus and trust are rare, but valuable traits if and when you find these in ‘cats’.

Cougars on the other hand are traditionally more settled in their lives and have already experienced some of the things cats still pursue (night life, position in society, etc.). Cougars tend to be more seasoned with their security and don’t engage in discussions often initiated by personal paranoia (Why aren’t you answering your phone? Where have you been? Who was that woman you were talking to? etc.). Cougars are usually positioned to move very quickly in pursuit of what they want, which can be both good and bad. Men who deal with women who fall into this category need to know what they want because time for thought is usually limited. Cats allow men to string them along in relationships, even when it's obvious they won't ever progress forward. However, cougars have the potential to almost force men into premature decisions due to the race against the 'biological clock'.

At my age, if I opt to pursue a cougar, I’ll have to be prepared to move quickly in maturing the relationship, determining our marriage potential and be ready to initiate a family shortly thereafter (for cougars who don’t have children). If I pursue a cat, I'll have to be ready to deal with some of the growing pains associated with women who are still in search for their personal worth and value.

The moral of the story is this...

No matter who you deal with they will never be perfect. You have to assess each person for who they are and make a decision on whether they help take you to a place you cannot reach on your own and vice versa. Relationships are not solely about you, but a healthy compromise between two people looking to build a better future together. Don't look for perfection in your mate, but look for someone who you can always strive to love perfectly.

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Pressured into Your Potential

Is it just me or does it seem like life is getting more and more challenging? What we used to be able to count on we can’t count on any more. What used to be easy doesn’t seem so easy any more. What we used to take for granted we now have to be concerned about. In the words of the immortal Glen Frey, “The Heat is On!” (refresher: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYIUhi-Ybi4).

One word that comes to mind as I think about this new normal is “pressure.” Pressure is defined as “the continuous physical force exerted on or against an object by something in contact with it.” I don’t know about you, but it often feels like I have physical forces being continually exerted against me by my finances, family obligations, business challenges, personal commitments, and other various situations.

Thinking about pressure makes me think about olives. Why olives? I was recently reading about the process of making olive oil. I used to think that getting olive oil was as simple as crushing them in some kind of press. Actually, according to Wikipedia, olive oil extraction is the process of separating the oil from its other contents (if interested look up “olive oil extraction” on Wikipedia).

While the process of extraction does involve pressing the olive, that’s not all there is. The ultimate goal of extraction is to separate the oil from the water that’s contained in the olive. Although oil and water don’t naturally mix, several steps, including washing, grinding, and pressing are needed to ensure the highest quality taste.

How does this relate to our lives? James 1:2-4 (Message) explains it very well:
“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

As life’s challenges come at you from all directions, their purpose is not just to weigh you down with more concerns. God is using these situations to wash, grind, and press His character into you and your character out of you (His character and our character don’t mix). Just like the olive, your true value comes from what’s inside of you that needs to flourish, not what’s outside of you that you might be chasing after (2 Peter 1:3).

When this character formation happens successfully, the result is that you (and others) will experience the benefits of God’s promises being fulfilled in your life. However, if you try to exit the process or skip steps, He has to start all over again with new situations and circumstances that will wash, grind, and press you.

I know the process of being pressured into your potential is uncomfortable, hot, difficult, and sometimes even hurts. Hang in there. Your best is just waiting to be squeezed out!

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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Love Is...

I received this from a friend and want to share it with you!

To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE

Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it. So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are........... NOT SO SINGLE

Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are..PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE

Never say "I love you" if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the
eye when all you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways...

To My Friends Who are..........MARRIED

Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry." Not "where are you", but "I'm right here." Not "how could you", but "I understand." Not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN

Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are.........NAIVE

How to be in love: Be able but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE

It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are…….AFRAID TO CONFESS

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON

A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it. If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now. Let go.....

TO ALL MY FRIENDS.......

My wish for you is a man/woman whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-changing, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish.

"Think Wrongly If You Please,But Think For Yourself"

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Workplace Topic of the Week - 03/23/2009

The workplace topic of the week deals with dating.

Does modern-day dating really teach us how to love the opposite sex? Or is it really teaching us how to be better divorcers?

I have my personal view on this topic, but will refrain until I obtain feedback on this topic via Facebook and MySpace.

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The Drive to Thrive!

An August 2008 poll conducted by Gallup, Inc. showed that only 48% of U.S. workers are “completely satisfied” with their jobs (42% said they were “somewhat satisfied”). Interestingly, the report stated that these results were very high compared to the previous seven years.

Wow! These results are astounding considering the fact that less than half of the U.S. workforce is totally fulfilled doing something that monopolizes so much of their lives.

This information reinforces my belief that far too many people go through life without fully understanding who they are or what they should be doing. They aimlessly float from day to day, pursuing work or activities that are pointless, passionless, fruitless, or all of the above.

One of the keys to finding fulfilling work is deeply understanding what it is that you can be the best at doing and then spending your life mastering it. I call this your “THRIVE.”

Your THRIVE is discovered through your driving life passion. This drive helps you to focus your energy, time, talents, and resources in a particular area or cause. Your THRIVE provides you with inspiration, motivation, and an insatiable hunger to make an impact and leave a legacy.

Your THRIVE is developed through hard work and mastered through an unwavering commitment to pursue excellence.

Your THRIVE is not limited by your circumstances or work environment. It’s a mindset that equips you to flourish in the midst of your circumstances, in spite of your circumstances.

Your THRIVE doesn’t have to center around a particular occupation, but your life will have much better synergy if it’s integrated into your job.

Your THRIVE is ultimately fueled by God and His purpose and calling on your life. Your THRIVE is not the totality of your purpose, but it’s how you execute that purpose. If God’s purpose for your life is like an ocean wave, then your THRIVE is your surfboard to ride that wave to your destiny.

My THRIVE is to creatively teach people how to maximize God’s potential and plan in their lives. I explain in detail how I discovered my THRIVE in my new book, Dream B.I.G. in 3D: How to Pursue a Bold, Innovative, God-Inspired Life! (http://www.paramindpublications.com/dream3d.html)

Here’s a few questions to help you begin to discover your THRIVE:
- What do you look forward to doing when you get up in the morning?
- What would you do if there was 0% chance that you could fail?
- What are you passionate about doing that you would do without compensation?
- In what activities do you currently demonstrate or have the potential to demonstrate excellence?

Find your THRIVE and you will be much closer to finding work that is meaningful, fulfilling, and fruitful. I wish you well in your pursuit. Happy hunting!

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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Does It Cost Me Personal Sacrifice? Luke 7:36-50

Today I wanted to share one of my favorite stories in the Bible...."Mary and her alabaster box." Like many of us today, Mary was a sinner who wanted redemption for her erred ways. Mary realized she had encountered the Lord and worshipped him with everything she had. She didn't care who was looking at her or what they were saying about her as she made her way to Jesus. She didn't worry about what it might look like to those that didn't understand. She knew and the Lord knew and that was all that mattered. THAT is all that REALLY matters. In a world that is full of putrid morals and ideals of recidivism sometimes we become so enthralled by the forgotten path in which God is trying to guide us. However, if your heart is right with God and you have that personal relationship with Him, then don't worry how people talk about you nor what they say about you; JUST keep doing what you are doing to keep that personal closeness with Him always. What is right for you may not be right for others and what is right for others may not be right for you. It is up to each of us to work out our own salvation.

Mary sacrificed her future for His present presence. What would you give to be saturated in His presence for just thirty seconds? It's time to break your alabaster box. When Mary went home the night after she broke her alabaster box of brokenness over Jesus, she still smelled like Him. When she laid down to sleep, she still smelled like Him. When she got up the next morning, she still smelled like Him. Mary invested all that she had for one encounter with Jesus. She embodies the passion that drives 'God Chasers' around the world. We all want to see Him, to sense His presence and draw near in worship and adoration. The more of Him we get, the more of Him we must have. Often, we find ourselves unable to find satisfactions because there is a fire in our bones that launches us in a desperate search for His manifested presence.

Are you desperate for the kind of God encounter that goes with you? This is the key: You must break your own alabaster box.

Will you be a Mary, a passionate box-breaker bearing the fragrance of brokenness? First, you must abandon the crowd of voices trying to steal you from God in the name of preserving man's program. … The Father is bending over the ramparts of heaven. He hears the irresistible crackle and the tinkle of breaking alabaster boxes… Is that the sound of your heart breaking? An incredible fragrance is filling the atmosphere, and I hear the rumors of His sudden approach.

God Bless,
Roderick Nandre Williams……..

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Workplace Topic of the Week - Conflict of Interest

I tried to take the day off, but have received a couple of requests for a thought-stimulating question of the day :).

Here it is...

Is it realistic for a man and woman to truly be friends if one party has a deeper interest than the other? Is this detrimental to a friendship?

Will there always be a 'hopeful' thought in the mind of the person with deeper interest? How should someone address this scenario?

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Losing in order to gain…. by Kimberly Bradford

Growing up did you ever have something that was a favorite of yours? Maybe it was a hat, toy, or stuffed animal. For me it was a baby blanket with little bears on it. Man, I loved that blanket! It was just the right size, it wasn’t heavy or too light I mean it was the best blanket in the world to me and I wanted to carry it everywhere. As I began to grow, my mother would take the blanket and hide it because as a parent, she knew I was outgrowing it. More importantly there would come a time when carrying a blanket would be out of place. Being a curious child, it seemed like I would always find it until one day it was finally gone forever and I was distraught because that was my blanket, how dare she take it away! See growing up that blanket was my sense of security, it was safe and it was what I thought I needed to make it.

Now that I’m a grown woman, I’m going through the difficult understanding that God is doing now what my mother did back then – He’s taking some things away from me in order for me to grow and walk into my destiny. The past month I’ve wrestled with this issue because I could only see what I was on the verge of losing, totally oblivious to what I stood in place to gain if I could only let go.

Quite often we think of losing in a negative way but there are instances where losing can actually set you up for a win. For example, a person who has lost their job may not see the blessing at the time, but maybe it happened because God, knowing the desires of your heart, knew you were wasting away at a dead end job. Just maybe losing your job was the push you needed to finally do what you really love.

It’s real easy to hold onto what’s comfortable and sometimes we even hold onto to things that aren’t so comfortable because in our minds at least we know what we have, or so we think. What is it in your life that you could stand to lose? Do you need to let go of a dead relationship in order to gain the love that you desire and one God has ordained? Maybe it’s time to stop trying to “make sense of it all” and remember what Isaiah 55:8 says: “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.”

The challenge in all of us is to dig deep and really recognize what’s holding us back. Why aren’t you living up to your great expectation? Who or what is keeping you from your victory? Whatever the case may be in your life always remember, although letting go may be a painful process, it’s necessary and for your own good.

Blessings to all…

Kimberly Bradford



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Get the Kink Out of Your Think! - By Paul Wilson, Jr.

Your thoughts drive your beliefs, which drive your choices, which form your lifestyle, which determines your destiny.

The Bible states, "A double minded person is unstable in all their ways" (James 1:6, paraphrased). A practical understanding of this scripture would be a person driving a car who is looking out the back window while driving the car forward. Unless he turns around and commits all of his attention to the same direction the car is going, he is going to crash.

Many people live their lives this way. Rather than focusing their mental energy and attention in positive areas, they spend too much time battling conflicting thoughts and perspectives. This type of battle usually results in confusion, frustration, and fatigue. These people exist in a constant state of mental and emotional conflict.

What you focus on the most is what you will become. Contrary to what many people will admit, we all talk to ourselves. That's not the issue, though. The issue is what we are saying when we talk to ourselves. If we spend all our time reinforcing the negative thoughts that come to us, then most of the outcomes of our lives - which are really the sum of the decisions that we make - will be negative. However, if we spend more time dismissing those negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones, then the outcome of our lives will be much more favorable.

You are what you eat. This is not just a principle of your physical health. It's also a principle of your mental health. You simply can't eat a mental junk food diet and stay mentally healthy. If you consistently feed your mind with media or conversations that are full of negative and destructive words, actions, and images, then you will spend a lot of your time dealing with negativity in your mind.

Conversely, if you spend more of your time filling your mind with positive or constructive words, actions, and images, it will be much easier for you to engage positive thoughts to counterattack the negative thoughts when they come. The result is that over time, your actions will prove to be more constructive rather than destructive for yourself and others.

Know thyself, feed thyself. Many people say their media intake doesn't affect their behavior, yet over time their actions become a representation of what they have been eating. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's good for you. Similar to a world-class athlete who disciplines her body to beat her competition, you must condition your mind to beat your spiritual and natural competition.

You will not be able eat what everyone else is eating and stay ahead of them at the same time. If you want to move beyond your competition, you have to do things differently.

To get the kink out of your think, change your intake. Be very selective with what you watch, what you listen to, who you listen to, and what you read. Eat only those things that will build and edify your character and propel your life in a positive direction. You will gain the courage you need to make positively powerful decisions that benefit you and those connected to you.

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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Relationship Tip of the Day - 03/11/2009

Don't allow your interest, desire for a relationship and passion to blind you to the reality of interpersonal romantic relationships. Love is a positive component of male/female relationships and should be accompanied by a sense of happiness and joy. Control, excessive anger and manipulation are not synonyms for love!

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Hiring Process of Life

Don’t be afraid to treat your life like a small corporation! Many organizations go through the process of interviewing and hiring candidates who are able to bring value to the company. They have a specific set of responsibilities that accompany job descriptions within the group they are hiring for. Several candidates submit resumes outlining their qualifications for open positions. Typically, most people look awesome on paper because they are able to highlight their accomplishments and polished backgrounds. However, the interview process allows hiring managers to drill down deeper into the details of a person’s resume and assess whether there is any substance behind the many accomplishments they have highlighted.

Similarly, we should all value our lives in the same way companies’ value productive, innovative, supportive and profitable employees. The people you allow into your life should serve a purpose and add value. This DOES NOT mean that each person should have a to-do list associated with their affiliation with your life. However, they should fall into the category of encourager, mentor, teacher, confidant, accountability partner, or other value-add group.

Take time to carefully interview those who come into your life. Make sure you ask the right ‘interview’ questions that will help you determine if someone is a good ‘fit’. Don’t be misled, just because you interview someone doesn’t mean you have to hire him/her. Also, remember that you have the authority to terminate people associated with your life. Don’t apologize; just understand that oftentimes a change of direction is required for progress to take place.

Spring is quickly approaching, so now is a good time to conduct annual reviews for the people occupying seats in your life!

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Workplace Topic of the Week – 030909

Would you date yourself?

We all have desires and characteristics that we would each like our mates to possess. It is very easy to sit back and analyze who comes into your life, checking off the various items that align with your checklist. Unfortunately, many of us do not go through the same exercise of evaluating ourselves in the same manner we scrutinize and assess others. A open-minded person is willing to contemplate the following question…“Would I Date Myself?”

As you ponder this question, please consider the following categories in your self-evaluation:
• Spiritually – Do I have a strong relationship with God? Do I have faith that will help me through the trying times of life and relationships?
• Physically – Do I take care of myself? Am I happy with who I see in the mirror everyday?
• Financially – Am I disciplined financially? Do I have a budget? Do I have a plan for paying down or paying off my debt?
• Emotionally – Am I carrying baggage from previous relationships? Am I open to giving someone a fair opportunity of learning about me, without them having to pay for someone else’s mistakes?
• Socially – Am I fun to be around? Do I complain too much? Or do I enjoy life and others enjoy being around me?

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I'm Back!!

After dealing with some ministry responsibilities, school work and a cold :(, I'm now rejuvenated and ready to get back in the saddle to blog again. I sincerely appreciate those who submitted entries in my absence! If you have specific topics that you'd like to see addressed in the future, please send them to me at chatkafe@kennypugh.com. Until then, I pray God's blessings over you as we continue forward in this journey called life.

Sincerely,
KP

Living in the D.E.E.P.! By Paul Wilson, Jr.

I attended college in San Diego, CA, and I loved it out there. One of the main reasons was easy access to the beach and the ocean. I can remember plenty of times going there just to relax (especially at night), listening to the waves roll in and out. That was my place of peace and inspiration.

As much as I liked being near the ocean, I never fully enjoyed it as much as I could have. Now, I wasn’t fearful of getting in the water, because I’ve been able to swim since I was a child. However, to me swimming in the ocean was more “dangerous” than swimming in a pool, because of the difference in depth and the lack of boundaries.

So whenever I would get in, I always got a little nervous the further I would get away from the shore. One reason is because it would get harder to keep my feet on the ground as I moved out into the water. Of course eventually my feet wouldn’t touch the bottom at all and I would have to start swimming.

During this transition from the shore to deeper water, there was always that moment when I thought my feet were about to touch the ground, but the water would come over my head. In that split second I had to realize it was time to swim. It was a little unnerving until I got my bearings. Although I knew that moment was coming, it always seemed to take me by surprise.

Recalling my times in the ocean causes me to think about how many people live. Real enjoyment is found in the deep waters of life, but they don’t like the uncomfortable feeling of not being able to touch or see something that they think should be stable. They don’t like uncertainty, so they choose perceived safety.

In choosing to live in the shallow waters of life (faith, relationships, career, etc.), they take very few risks. They don’t stretch their faith. They underestimate the gifts and abilities that God has given them. They talk a good game, but don’t accomplish anything significant.

Sadly, they spend most of their lives stuck in cycles of dissatisfaction, disconnection, and disillusionment about who they are, what they should be doing, and how they could be living.

It’s time to break those cycles! If you desire to live an abundantly fulfilled life, you have to learn how to go into the deep waters of life.

“When he [Jesus] finished teaching, he said to Simon, ‘Push out into deep water and let your nets out for a catch… It was no sooner said than done - a huge haul of fish, straining the nets past capacity.’” – Luke 5:4,6 (Message)

Let’s take a look at this passage to see what we can learn about how to benefit from living in D.E.E.P. waters (to get the full flavor of this passage read Luke 5:1-11):

Daily pursue God’s will…
o “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)
o Pray continually to keep your relationship fresh with God.
o Read the Word constantly to understand His promises.
o Obey what you read in the Word.

Engage life decisively and victoriously…
o “… you have defeated these enemies. God's Spirit is in you and is more powerful than the one that is in the world.” 1 John 4:4 (CEV)
o Exercise faith by trusting what God has spoken to your heart.
o Don’t allow fear to keep you stuck where you are.
o Apply effort that goes beyond the norm. Do ordinary things in extraordinary ways.

Explore new opportunities…
o “God doesn't want us to be shy with his gifts, but bold and loving and sensible.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (Message)
o Reject complacency. Don’t be satisfied with past successes.
o Be flexible and open to new ideas.
o Be courageous. Take a risk and try something different.

Plan according to your purpose and passions…
o “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him; but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 (NIV)
o Assess what you’re currently doing to determine if it’s the best way (you might need to keep doing the same thing, but in a different way).
o Set goals, priorities and deadlines.
o Start today. Do something!


Abundance and fulfillment are found in the deep waters of life. What are you waiting for? Jump in!

Dream B.I.G.,
Paul Wilson, Jr.

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The Love of Companionship….by A ProsperingSoul

In this game called life, we often find ourselves wishing we could go back and change some things. When we have made major decisions in life, it never occurs to us that we failed to seek the face of God, nor was it an afterthought for us to do so. We realize that we never sought Him in the beginning only when we petition Him for repair. When you say you love someone more than anything in the world, yet you put them after everything in your life, it sends mixed messages. However, if they continue to love you the same...you can truly say that is love.

I once read that nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute way, final way. What are you in love with? What seizes your imagination and affects the things in your life? Does God fill your imagination? As I read that quote, and being a single woman, it brought me to my thoughts and I can allow myself to drift away in to the clouds with my own desires. There is one thing I know for sure, there is a future that has been determined for me yet it’s unknown all at the same time.

“Whatever exists has already been named, and it is known what man is; for he cannot dispute with him who is stronger than he is,” Ecclesiastes 6:10. God knows and directs everything that happens, and he is in complete control over our lives. Who are we to fight with the Creator? Solomon proved to us that searching for personal pleasures always lead to an empty heart. What fills the empty heart-a pure and genuine relationship with God?

When your thought leads you to loneliness or emptiness, check on your love relationship with Christ? When you find yourself putting your own will before His perfect will, check your love relationship with Christ. The love of companionship is the undeniable love of God!

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Workplace Topic of the Week - 03/02/2009

Today's dating relationships are very challenging to establish and maintain. Enhanced challenges can occur when you give too many people access to your relationship. One way around this issue is to keep your relationship private so no one else has a front-row ticket. On the flip side, men and women may use the private relationship approach in order to hide information from you about another part of their life(ie, wife/husband, primary girlfriend/boyfriend, long-distance relationship, etc.).

What would you say if the person you were dating asked you to keep your relationship private? Would you embrace this request in order to keep outsiders out of your personal business? Or would you get a little suspicious of the motive behind the request?


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