The other day, a friend and I were having a conversation and the topic of long-distance relationships surfaced. I was asked my opinion on this matter, but unfortunately I don't have much experience or points of reference to them. As a result, LDR's are the workplace topic of the week.
-Are you currently in a successful LDR? If so, how are you making it work out for both involved parties?
-How do you guard against meeting a person's representative versus the person they truly are?
-What are the most important factors in making a LDR successful (trust, honesty, planned time, etc.)?
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7 comments:
good afternoon!!
first, i would like to say, LDRs is for the birds!!! LOL i'm currently in a LDR and trust me, it's hard!!! i let it be known from day one that i wasn't a fan of LDRs, but you never know what GOD has for you if you're not open. soooo, 15 mos later, we're still hanging in there.
personally, i believe in order for a LDR to work both parties have to TRUST one another, COMMUNICATE, PATIENCE, and visit when possible. there's only so much you can learn about a person via telephone, text messages, and email.
one advice a friend told me when in a LDR, when you start arguing over 'dumb' things, it times for someone to get in the car on the plane.
my question is, is okay to see other people, locally, while in a LDR?
Personally, I have never embarked upon a LDR and honestly would not desire to. I'm not insinuating that they are unsuccessful; I'm just being open about my own preference....besides, I am a visual person and would need to see my "booh" :)
no one is ever fan of LDRs and no one really desires them...but i do think saying i don't do or won't do LDRs places limits on what God may have for you..or what God knows He needs to teach you & your partner about trusting each other (and Him), communicating w/ each other (and Him about said LDR), and patience w/ each other (and Him..in His time if it's His will you all will share the same city) through a relationship that is seperated by miles.
I've seen them work and I've seem them fail..but I think the things that make a "succesful" LDR are the same key things (trust, communication, patience, honesty, planned time etc) that are inherent to a "local" relationship...basically being sure you understand what your partner needs from you..and vice versa...and being willing to sacrifice yourself to give that to them... and it always takes time to get to know someone's true self versus the representative... but one is able to "see" their LDR partner through various seasons in their lives w/o actuallying "seeing" them (i.e. I don't have to be the same zip code w/ u to know how you're responding to being laid off and outta work for months)
While LDRs may present some unique challenges as far as the amount of quality time you spend in one's physical presence..and they may cost ($) you more in travel and at some pt someone's gotta move ... if the possiblity of loving who God has for you isn't worth the investment or praying through those challenges...then what is?
Carmen, I appreciate your response....
I want to share with you a sermon my pastor preached during our Watch Night Service entitled "Living Above Anxiety". Her outlined three important topics:
I. The Problem of our Anxiety
II. The Prescription for our Anxiety
III. The Promises for our Anxiety
Why is this important? In my personal journey, only the Lord knows the challenges I have faced and, since I am undoubtedly his child, he knows what I need and what is best for MY situation. What stood out for me most in this sermon was "The Prescription for Our Anxiety (particularly number 2 & 3):
II. The Prescription for Our Anxiety
A. The Act of Prayer
1. Prayer
2. Supplication - The word refers to an earnest sharing of burdens
3. Request - The word refers to detailed prayer about specific issues
You proposed this question--if the possiblity of loving who God has for you isn't worth the investment or praying through those challenges...then what is?
Let me say this....I pray to the Lord with specific prayers about "specific" issues in my life, which certainly are not exclusive to relationships. However, since I am "exclusive" when it comes to relationships, I am honest enough to say that I would prefer being connected to a man who is "near" rather than "far".
Without question, if my "specific" prayers are in God's will and I am living according to his word, I believe he will give me the desires of my heart. Meaning, since I am his child only HE knows what I can bear. How do I know this for certain? His word-- in I Corinthians 10:13 it states:
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it".
As I stated in my first response, I believe that LDRs can be successful for those who desire them. However, "who" God has for me, if it is his will to grant me with such a gift, is just that--only up to him :-)......
exactly..it's only up to Him....the preference we have is to be in the will of God..to desire what He desires for us ....if that person is in another location that's only God's call ..not ours...
while i may not prefer or desire a LDR (who really desires a LDR)...i prefer & desire His will more than mine....as He will always have my best interest at heart (even if it's not the most ideal relationship situation to be in according to man's standards) ...and He knows whether it's in my best interest to be in an LDR or Local Relationship..that decision i'm leaving up to Him..and leaving myself open to whatever He decides.
Well Carmen, I applaud you! As long as Christ is leading you, you have not worries! As for me, I am "minding my own business" and "leading a quiet life".....(smile)
1. trust in the Lord
2. commitment to making it work (staying in contact)
3. trust in your partner
4. trust in the Lord
5. trust in yourSELF
6. did i say trust???
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