Happy New Year to each of you! This is the first workplace topic of 2009...
Is it possible to find your mate while dating multiple people at the same time? How can you truly learn about someone as an individual when you do not give them your full, undivided attention?
I dare declare that many of the unfit relationships we witness today are a result of people's inability to focus on the key characteristics in relationships. I know it is tempting to automatically associate this type of behavior with men, but women are also guilty of the multi-dating syndrome that exists today.
I'll throw this in as a bonus for the New Year...
Can a successful relationship be developed by someone who jumps from one relationship to another without taking time in between to purge the bad and implement lessons learned?
Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com
 |
Subscribe to Chat Kafe |
Visit this group |
Posts
.jpg)
5 comments:
As a woman, I believe that it is possible to find your mate while dating several people at the same time. Whether you date one person or you date five people, you know the qualities and character traits that your potential mate should possess. If I know that I want children in the future and one of the guys I've gone out with doesn't, why waste my time or theirs continuing to get to know them in pursuit of a committed relationship? If I see one of the guys I go out with treat the waitstaff nasty and that's obviously indicative of how he could treat me later on, why continue? In either of these scenarios, the fact that I went out with another guy the night before would not change the fact that he's not for me.
The older you get, the less time you have to waste dating one person exclusively up front. You still have time to weed out the "bad seeds" without investing all of your time in something that you knew wouldn't work from jump. It doesn't take a lifetime or years to see what you don't need. After filtering the negative, you can hone in on the positive. Some people choose to go the other way around and focus on all a person's positive traits only to find out months later that they were just meeting the representative. I just choose personally not to disregard either . . .
I totally agree with the last blogger's coment. It is nearly impossible to just date one person before there is mutual agreement to be exclusive. I find that time always weeds someone out of the running.
I agree with both of the comments above. However let me clarify briefly, I wasn't necessarily talking about exclusivity during the get to know you (what I refer to as the friendship phase). I know people who have gone through the process of determining who has potential for long-term compatibility and then embark upon dual-dating relationships. I believe this is unfair because it's difficult to multi-task in this manner. I also know of women who go on multiple dates with different guys in a day's timeframe. Is this a beneficial practice? I'll leave the answer to you.
Ok KP, I see your point better now. Based on what you've described, dual-dating sounds more to me like cheating; and yes, that is unfair.
When you mentioned that you know women who multi-date, it sounds really bad...kinda like, "yuk!!" Then I realized I am one of them which totally changes my perspective. I have done all of this in what you refer to as the "friendship phase" and I feel guilty. Kinda like I'm doing the cheating. However, I haven't committed to anyone so it's kinda weird. Beneficial? Not sure. Necessary? YES!
1908
I have a question. Are christians supose to be going from one relationship to another? I can understand if you are courting someone with the intentions on getting married but not in and out of relationships.
Post a Comment