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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Desire or Obligation?

Earlier today I posted a statement on my Facebook page that caused quite a stir to those visiting my page.

I made the following statement...

"I believe that 65% of men get married out of obligation and not out of true purpose."

Do you agree?

Here is my rationale...

I have been doing a random sample analysis of men who have gotten married. Many got married because they have been with their significant other for a certain period of time and marriage is the next 'logical' step. Others have gotten married because they have children with a particular woman. Others got married they were pressured to take the step of marriage by way of ultimatum. Rarely have I asked a man why he got married and he responded with "I love my wife and I feel it was God's ordained purpose for us to be together," or " I love my wife and I want us to build a God-fearing family together." I'm not using this bring judgment to my brethren, but I do think it's important for couples to discuss the 'why?' upfront.

Someone asked me what the purpose of marriage is? This is how I responded...

Marriage is a God-ordained union between a man and a woman which achieves a greater kingdom purpose and serves as a living testimony to God's goodness. It embodies the ups and downs of relationships and exemplifies the true meaning of love, reconciliation and sacrifice.

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9 comments:

Anonymous said...

GOT to give ya' a pound on your purpose of marriage.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your commitment to continue to post dope blogs! Your definition of what marriage is on point!

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure about the actual percentages, but I do agree that many of the men that I have asked "why did you get married?" it was out of obligation. I, too have rarely heard a man say that he married because he loved his wife and knew she was the one God made just for him. I agree with the purpose of marriage and dare I add another piece to the purpose...if children are a part of that union it is also the responsibility of the husband and wife to raise their seed in the fear of the Lord,continuing a Godly legacy in the earth. KG

Anonymous said...

KP want should we say to these sistas who marry these brothas? Both parties should be held accountable do you agree?

Anonymous said...

I am elated that I signed on and read this last comment...

I agree with the statment that we as women should be held accoutable. I definitely know about that....I made a statement to a friend yesterday that "men who are truly walking with the Lord would not marry out of obligation". That goes for the ladies too. However, since we don't initiate the proposal, my logic is that a man who is truly in the word, not PERFECT, but in the word and is praying for their mate, will hear from God. Now on the other hand, the brotha who marries a woman out of obligation, in my opinion, is not hearing from God. If that sister who takes that proposal on a "hope and a prayer" but know that brotha's walk is "crooked", she is certainly held accountable, particularly if she knows the word herself. Hmmmmm...

Anonymous said...

hey anonymous....

you just intensified my weight lifting routine with that accountability thang! (smile)

from my heart....my christian brothers, if you extend a proposal, know God is leading you and mean it in your heart. Anyone who knows me can readily attest that I believe in responsiblity from ALL involved. Thanks for catapulting me forward in my workout routine! I needed that :-)!!

Kenny Pugh (aka KP) said...

Anonymous, those who have already entered into covenant have to be willing to pray and go through the process of developing their relationships. My post is best applied to those who have not yet entered into a covenant relationship. Both parties are responsible for the decisions they make though and should be held accountable.

Two Cynt, I agree...I see you are picking up my thought process :)

Anonymous said...

Now THAT is a compliment...I appreciate it very much....

Anonymous said...

Bottom line brothers and sisters,
No one should get married out of obligation, but the reason should be that you love that person and you know that God has told you that this person is your mate. Last but not least, LADIES please Let the man ask you for your hand in marriage rather than threating him if he doesnt.So many marriages end because we have not follow God's principles. In all thy ways acknowledge him sisters and brothers and he will direct thy path. Be blessed!