When the Chase is Over?

As I sit in front of my computer, I am reminded of the many relationship mistakes I have made over the years. I try to downplay and claim convenient amnesia to the number of mistakes that have transpired in my life, but God keeps them fresh atop my mind in order to eventually invoke change in my behavior. One of things men as a whole enjoy, is the chase or pursuit of a woman they want to learn more about. All through high school, college and even into my early professional life I aligned myself with this practice, but failed to address another very important element in relationships. What happens when the chase is over?

Once the chase or pursuit comes to a halt, another major crossroad is reached and one has to assess whether to be satisfied with the woman he has worked hard or somewhat hard to connect with? Or do you declare victory and press on towards the next challenge? Far too long I opted for the latter because of the chess match and adrenaline rush that accompanies each new pursuit. As many men have stated before…“There is no feeling like claiming victory with a new woman (paraphrased of course ;))!” Unfortunately, the result of this theory positioned me to always be on the lookout for the next challenge, curiosity or relationship pursuit. Is this representative of a fear of commitment? Some may say yes…but I adamantly say NO! I call it a bad case of the male curiosity syndrome.

Curiosity is one of those things that work as an asset in life because it leads to the discovery of new things. It can also serve as a liability because it can place you in a position of split-second decision-making and progressive trouble. My mother used to tell me and my brother that “Curiosity kills the cat!” Her advice/warning simply meant that more often than not, our curiosities in life will lead to trouble. Fortunately, my curiosities have not yet killed me, but have positioned me to take a hard look at seriously evaluating when the chase is no longer worth it. To my brothers, I also encourage you to take the challenge of evaluating the importance of the chase and when it becomes detrimental to your overall purpose in life.


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