Can’t Be Friends – Wish We Never Did it!

I’ve had the privilege over the past two days to post discussion questions on the topic “Can men and women be friends?” At the surface the answer is very simple…”Of course they can be friends.” With all factors being equal, two grown, adult individuals should have no trouble maintaining a level of positive interaction while not approaching the emotional boundaries that typically send one of the involved parties into a state of desiring more.

Let’s be real for a minute…scenarios involving men and women, born of God and created with emotions seem to be a little more complex than vanilla question posed in the first sentence.

Back to reality…

I’ve recently become enamored with Trey Songz’ hit “Can’t Be Friends.” This song has a very nice flow, is pretty straightforward and encompasses so many emotions men and women embody when they find themselves connected to someone. I know the direct connotation of “I wish we never did it…” refers to crossing the physical boundaries of passion and allowing themselves to become in love/lust with the experiences. I would like to also take creative liberty to further expound upon this connotation. I’d like to offer-up that a lot people (including Christians) wished they had not fantasized about having an enhanced relationship with someone who God never cleared, certified or confirmed the mutual feelings with. Sometimes it is even more dangerous to allow one’s emotions to be tied to a self-initiated, tunnel vision view that so often results in a disappointing life experience…also known as heartbreak.

Do you know why disappointment settles into our lives? It is a result of our reality never reaching our expectations. Whenever our reality falls short of our unmanaged expectations disappointment is certain to occur.

Can men and women really be friends? Yes…but both have to have the maturity and selflessness required to ensure the emotional and physical boundaries are never breached. If either party finds themselves in an unhealthy state of mind, it may be in their best interest to retreat from the friendship in order to regain emotional stability. I’ve lost several friends due to an imbalance of how we viewed one another, but gained a level of respect for them because they knew the value in disconnecting from me in order to find stability. It is at this point that I feel led to include the super-spiritual advice of “Let God fill the void in your life,” but will refrain and advise that you “Allow God’s wisdom to steer you out of situations that are emotionally unhealthy for you.” However, if you are able to manage your emotional connection with the other person, then make the most of a friendship that may be used to teach you something in preparation for your future.

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