Dating for professional black women is one of the most interesting debates that we entertain in today’s social circles. In my opinion, I believe we have made the issue a lot larger than what it truly is because of the many books, movies and workplace discussions that deal with the subject. When truly evaluating the core issues at hand, the hurdles that professional black women have fishing in a relatively small dating pond are as follows:
1) Media Influence – The media has truly influenced the perspectives and self-views of many professional black women. When a message is conveyed over and over again, it often positions the recipients to begin embellishing the statements as truth. You hear messages regarding the issues professional black women face in dating via radio shows, blogs and magazines. This prompts the discussions between friends, co-workers and thus results in the perpetual mindsets that now exist. The reality is no matter if the statistics state that 42.7% of African-American women are unmarried, women have to realize that it only takes meeting ONE man to place them in the 57.3% category. However, if a negative mindset is embraced, then experiences usually follow.
2) Misconception of Men’s Views – There is a misconception that men are intimidated by the educational, professional and social statuses of successful black women. This is true when women are only exposed to groups of underconfident and immature men who lack motivation. If this seems to be the norm, then I recommend doing something different in order to get exposure to new circles of men. There are groups of men who desire to be men of integrity. There are men who desire to be married. There are men who embrace the professional and educational pursuits of black women. There are men who desire to love women unconditionally. The common misunderstanding of black men is “black men are intimidated by successful black women.” The success isn’t what disconnects men and women it’s the perceived attitude that is associated with the professional success and education. If two people make each other feel valued, then the relationship will work despite an educational or professional gap. Genuine love bridges the widest of gaps and eases the deepest of insecurities.
3) Misunderstanding of “Value” – Somewhere along the line of time our society lost the things that should be viewed and embraced as “valuable” in relationships. Say what you want, our grandparents were able to build long-lasting relationships not based on money, but on love and sacrifice. By having one another’s back through thick in thin. By understanding that sacrifice will get you further than a master’s degree, home or diversified financial portfolio. When you need someone to hug, to vent to or sacrifice during your time of need, a person’s net worth is irrelevant. Don’t get me wrong, it is important to have goals and pursue them, but not at the expense of losing a grip on what keeps relationships anchored.
Professional black women may encounter greater distractions in Atlanta than other cities, but this can be attributed to the social competition and materialism that exists. Smaller cities don’t typically have the same level of competition and thus a different relationship mindset exists.
Professional black women in Atlanta do face hurdles when dating, but much of it lies in the distance between their ears. A renewed mindset, confidence and an understanding of what is truly valued in relationships can make all the difference in dating and relationship experiences.
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5 comments:
Excellent Post!! Thanks for sharing!
This was very thoughtfully written. I absolutely agree with what’s written; educational pursuits and material possessions do not equate to love and commitment, that’s on the inside. It is true; it only takes one, the right one to change your circumstance. We just need to change our perspective. Thank you for sharing that.
On the other hand brother Kenny, black men are losing in every socio-economic metric known to American demographers. Let's not philosophize away (for example) the reality that for every ethnic group surveyed, the male/feamle balance in medical school applicants is no more skewed than 55/45 in either direction. For African Americans the numbers are 70% female versus 30% male. So whereas there is one male doctor of the same race for every marriage minded female of a non-black ethnicity, there is LESS THAN ONE black male doctor for every TWO black female doctors. Does every black female doctor have to marry a black male doctor? No. But we KNOW that the more a women out does a man educationally and financially, the less their chances at romantic success.
The REAL solution is to DRASTICALLY improve the educational and economic outcomes of African American males... PERIOD.
Good!
Brilliant written, hope it would be helped to virtuous women.
Independent Women dating
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