Don't Get Mad...by Kimberly Bradford

Remember when you went to the doctor and right before they stuck the needle in your arm the nurse said, “You’re going to feel a little pinch”? Well get ready because this is about to sting a whole helluva lot!

Alright, so I guess this is what it took for me to get to typing… I just watched Nightline’s Why Successful Black Women Aren’t Married and I’m in an uproar.

When I first heard about this event I must admit I was hyped and I wanted to go but as the week went on, something inside said “maybe this isn’t for you.” I actually went to the venue and was going to meet up with a friend who was on the guest list but our signals were crossed and I ended up leaving instead of waiting around watching the line wrapped around the building move slowly. After the taping, I spoke with my friend and we talked about the night’s discussion and some of the key points that were highlighted in the Nightline broadcast. During our conversation it occurred to me that I was right about this topic not being something I agree with.

You know I love a good party but I absolutely refuse to accept, attend or host one of these asinine pity parties that they want to throw for Black women. I need to talk to my girls right now… Seriously ladies, some of ya’ll need to quit with all this talk about a man being “intimidated” by you and having these ridiculous laundry lists of must have’s that you conveniently throw up in a man’s face while screaming “I’M INDEPENDENT.”

Before any of you come back at me and say I’m placing the blame solely on the women hear me out. Music and these over-the-top television shows about being a housewife, which ironically don’t contain any actual housewives, have warped the mindset of so many women both young and old. How can you complain about being single when you’re wearing the term “independent” like it’s a badge of honor? Honey child listen, if you are single and you’re paying your bills, buying your own car/house and taking care of your essential needs you aren’t independent, you’re a woman who’s doing what she’s SUPPOSED to do. You don’t get a medal for doing that! Stop tripping! You think because you show up to work everyday that that qualifies you as a stellar employee? Girl please, you’re supposed to show up to work if you want a paycheck! Somewhere along the way women have forgotten how to be the beautiful creatures we were created to be. Many have turned into bitter, venom spitting vipers that look like they’ll bite off the head of a man if he even thinks about speaking to them. On the flip side, you scream independent but you want a man to take you to the mall and buy out the store. You won’t date a man who works in the factory assembling Mercedes because you want the man who drives one. Who needs a pimp when so many women pimp themselves very easily? Come on, get a grip.

We are so much better than what is being put out there ladies. If you truly desire to be in a successful relationship/marriage then I pray that God blesses you with your desires but it’s going to take some action on your part. Stop worrying about statistics, stop pointing the finger at men and take a look in the mirror. Could it be you’re single because of…You?

Do you even know who YOU are? Do you know what YOU want out of life? How can you expect a man to meet your standards when you haven’t even set or met any yourself?
Chuck D. and Public Enemy said it best, Don’t Believe the Hype!


--Kimberly Bradford