If It Doesn’t Fit Don’t Force It!

I have been reminded by God time and time again that only He has the ability to orchestrate the footsteps of our lives. Unfortunately, in a quest for personal focus on self and the desire to create successes on our own, we make the mistake of trying to validate something that He never ordained or blessed into existence.

I have taken much ridicule about the process I promote for relationship development. However, I continue to hold strongly to the view that we were never meant to ‘date’ according to the ways we see demonstrated in our current society. If the current method was working, then we would see a lot more success stories than we do. The way today’s dating model is constructed causes people to inadvertently put the cart before the horse. It is impossible to operate in a fully committed relationship without having some knowledge of the person you are connecting to. Thus, confirming the need to operate as friends before exploring any other level of relationship. I know…the dreaded ‘friend zone’ is one of discomfort and sometimes frustration, but it really does expose the true reality of who someone is. Also, the dreaded ‘friend zone’ gives you the benefit of assessing whether or not a relationship may truly ‘fit’ in the lives of two people.

- Do you want to learn how someone communicates? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period.
- Do you want to learn how someone operates under adversity? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period.
- Do you want to habits of a person? Allow them to operate in the ‘friend zone’ for a period.

The ‘friend zone’ gives two people the opportunity to build a foundation before adding any other complexities into the relationship (i.e., sex, commitment, other superficial expectations). The keys to relational success hinge on two individual’s ability to communicate effectively, operate under the same values and beliefs, and resolve conflict (see communication). Without these core pieces in place, a relationship will struggle. Fortunately, establishing a true friendship gives great insight on communication, beliefs, and conflict resolution.

The moral of this blog is simple...

Most failed relationships can be prevented if two people pay attention to the signs. If God reveals that a relationship isn’t a good fit, then don’t try and force it! Otherwise, you’ll only have yourself to blame for making an erroneous and anxious decision.

Brought to you by Kenny Pugh, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com and Chat Kafe, http://www.chatkafeonline.com.

My Life’s Credit Report

This blessed me and so I want to share with you...

If my life was a credit report and I was trying to obtain salvation, based on my score I wouldn’t get it. My history shows that I’ve been delinquent in praise, past due in prayer, my worship has been in collection and I’ve missed a few payments (tithes) or only paid half (you know how we put $20 in the basket and feel like we’ve done God a favor). Not to mention that my debt (sin) to income (blessings) ratio is to high. But I thank God that I was able to file bankruptcy (repentance) and it cleared me of all of my debt (sin). Now I have a co-signer (Jesus) whose score is FLAWLESS…..Not one blemish (sin) on his report. So now….now I QUALIFY for EVERYTHING!!!! Most importantly I’ve inherited eternal life and I didn’t have to put one penny down. All my closing costs were covered when Jesus laid down His life for me!!!! I hear that my future home has all of the upgrades too. Hardwood floors? Please!!! I’ll be walking on gold!

Thank you Lord for your unmerited mercy, grace and favor!!!

Author Unknown…

Brought to you by Kenny Pugh, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com and Chat Kafe, http://www.chatkafeonline.com.

Decisions of a Disciple

This past weekend was the first time in quite a while that I had an urge to actually go out to a club and have fun. It was Saturday night and I had been trapped in the house all day on Friday and most of Saturday due to the snow and ice Atlanta experienced throughout the week. I was scheduled to go hang out with some of my friends on Friday night to celebrate a birthday, but couldn’t get out of my immediate area due to ice on the streets.

However, Saturday night I had the urge to go out, like really, really, really go out and party. I wanted let my hair down and have some good old fun like most people in our society do. I’m not sure if it was a lapse in my spiritual armor, but the urge definitely caught my attention. It then came to my attention that no matter what ‘it’ was, I was not going to be able to participate. You see…once I accepted my call into ministry I forfeited the opportunity to do as the majority do. As a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I have to provide an example that promotes the lifestyle of His Word no matter what I ‘want’ or ‘feel’ like doing. I do sometimes miss the option of partying at the local club to release the stress of my week. However, I know that my influence has the ability to cause someone to stumble if I’m not careful in the decisions I make personally.

I have an issue with preachers who ‘publicly’ flaunt around with a Heineken or Hennessy in their hands on Saturday night but then turn around and preach the Gospel on Sunday mornings. Notice I said walk around drinking publicly. If he/she desires to have a drink within the confines of their home or among other strong believers, then he/she should be able to do so. As a minister and Christian, we have to make decisions that won’t cause those around us to stumble.

Unfortunately, I am often ostracized from friend invites and sometimes shunned by those in the church because of the lifestyle I’ve chosen to live. It hurts to know that people may avoid being a part of the ministry I lead because I won’t support certain beliefs and/or behavior (clubbin’, sexin’, drinkin’ in excess, etc.). My beliefs have led me to be sometime labeled as a loner, boring and even funnier…GAY…LOL. I am in no way condemning the lifestyle choices of others because this entry is neither targeting homosexuality nor taking the role of judge. The reality is that I enjoy having fun like the next man. I enjoy beautiful women like the next man. I have sexual urges (toward women) just like the next man. I have just made a conscious decision to take road that will lead to a better destination.

I remember reading that making a decision to live for Christ will cause others, even those considered close to you, to resent/persecute you. As a result, I’m cool with being somewhat rejected because it lets me know that I’m walking in the same footsteps as Christ. What about you? se lah

Brought to you by Kenny Pugh, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com and Chat Kafe, http://www.chatkafeonline.com.

Cocoon Experience

It’s been a very interesting past couple of weeks for me. I approached the end of 2009 with every intention of hitting the ground running full speed ahead in 2010. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the Lord changed my agenda during my Christmas vacation in Miami, Florida. Isn’t it just like Him to flip the script on you just so you ultimately recognize Who is ultimately in control of life and its direction? Well…as always, it ended up being a time of preparation for what is going to take place in 2010. In other words God was placing me in a cocoon in order to prepare for the next level of my journey.

Upon my return to Atlanta I began contemplating on what ministry theme God wanted the single adult ministry of Elizabeth to follow in 2010. The one recurring theme that came up over and over and over again was that of ‘OBEDIENCE.’ It’s obvious that obedience is not one of those catchy, flashy or Hollywood-selling ideals, but it definitely speaks to self-discipline and reverencing the presence of God in your life.

As always when God wants to address something, He typically deals with the leader first. The first thing He instructed me to do as an act of obedience in closing out 2009 was to eliminate spending excess time on blogs, Twitter and Facebook. It’s definitely been an interesting twist in my life because I had become so attached to providing status updates and words of inspiration. However, during my cocoon experience, I have received much rest, peace of mind and life illumination. I am like a caterpillar being prepared for release as a butterfly. I am now better positioned to lead people forward in accomplishing great things in 2010. Isn’t it interesting how God uses cocoon experiences to reveal subtle things that can help transform a person’s life?

My cocoon experience led me to focus on living a life of total obedience. Are you willing to be obedient to God’s voice and direction?

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://www.chatkafeonline.com and
Kenny Pugh, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com.

How BIG is Your God?

- Have you recently hit a spiritual slump and having trouble getting out of it?
- Are you currently in a life slump and wonder why every time you try to take one step forward it feels like you end up taking 2 steps backward?
- Do you have some goals that you’d like to accomplish and don’t know where to begin?

Well if you find yourself in any of the aforementioned situations I want to pose one simple question to you this morning…How BIG is Your God?

In your private time today I’d like you to read Proverbs 3:5-6 where it reads “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.”

During watch night (aka New Year’s Eve) service my Pastor spoke about “Going Into 2010 With a Mind to Win.” We can ALL share in the winning if we allow ourselves to embrace the idea of life being filled with peaks and valleys. We can also share in the winning if we are willing to trust that He is able to navigate us through the journey of overcoming our valley situations. How BIG is Your God?

He’s BIG enough to ensure you’re okay when periods of trouble seem to be present in your life.
He’s BIG enough to provide comfort during times of hurt in your life.
He’s BIG enough to know what trials you’ll encounter prior to you experiencing them and provide what you need to make it through the trials even when everything looks hopeless.

How BIG is your God?

He’s BIG enough to not need our help working through the situational details because He already has them under control. Do you trust Him? Do you really, really trust Him? Do you really, really, really trust Him?

Let’s take this approach to win in 2010…Let’s live in greater obedience of God. Let’s become convinced that He really is faithful enough, powerful enough, caring enough, loving enough and wise enough to do what His Word says He’ll do. His word says that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Joshua 1:5). That’s how big God is. So much so that if He doesn’t do what He says He will do then He’s no longer God. We need to know that He’s BIG—and that He knows what’s best for our lives, loves us even more than we love ourselves, and has a plan for all eternity.

To get an idea what God is really like examine Psalm 145

1 I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.
2 Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.

3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.
4 One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.
5 They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.
6 They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.
7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

8 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
9 The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
10 All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
your saints will extol you.
11 They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
12 so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.

The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.
14 The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and loving toward all he has made.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.
20 The LORD watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.
Let every creature praise his holy name
for ever and ever.

- The Psalmist praises our BIG God for His “mighty acts” (Think about the things He’s brought you through, the people He’s delivered you from, the doors He’s opened for you)
- The Psalmist praises our BIG God for His “grace and compassion” (we are all beneficiaries of His grace)
- The Psalmist praises our BIG God for His “glorious splendor” (His presence is glorious in our lives)
- The Psalmist praises our BIG God because “He is faithful to all His promises” (His Word shall not return void)

How BIG is your God? He’s as BIG as you allow Him to manifest and be in your life. Take the box from around Him on this day and allow yourself to dream God-sized dreams instead of you-sized dreams. Se lah!

KP
(inspired by Rick Warren Worship Study)

Brought to you by Chat Kafe, http://www.chatkafeonline.com and
Kenny Pugh, http://chatkafe.blogspot.com.