Relationship Intangibles

It’s hard to believe, but even after you have acquired a Bachelors, Masters or PhD, there is still no guarantee that your relationships will be successful. Many of us have been misled into thinking that a college degree, money in the bank, corporate career and prestigious awards are the foundation of successful relationships. Living here in Atlanta has allowed me to witness the rise and fall of many relationships based on ‘tangible things’. With the success many women are now experiencing academically and in their careers, there is a sense of expectancy that many of them carry into personal relationships. Newsflash…the intangibles (aka little things) are what make for successful long-term relationships. Intangibles can include, but are not limited to the following: 1) caring, 2) gentleness, 3) selflessness, 4) peace, 5) patience, 6) steadfastness, etc. How many of you evaluate your potential lifemates based on the above intangible characteristics?

Men with money and women with beauty are easy to find because they come in abundance. Will they be there for you when you are down and out? Will they remain with you after being laid-off from a job? Will they console you when you experience sadness in your life? Will they remain patient with you as you go through your personal growing pains? These are the questions you need to be able to answer when evaluating a potential mate.

My buddy put it best a long time ago when he recommended that I only accept applications from ‘B-students’ when searching for my wife. You may be asking yourself what is a B-Student? Glad you asked. A B-student is the one who never received an abundance of attention while in school, but always did quality work on every assignment. They are the ones who didn’t receive the top academic awards, but will always be successful in everything they do. What does this mean to you?

For men, A-students are the beautiful women who receive an abundance of attention everywhere they go. Many of them are only sustained by their beauty and have no self-esteem outside of their beauty. Why do men say the pretty girls bring the most drama along with them? Men say this because ‘pretty girls’ are sustained by external accolades and not internal sustained sufficiency.

For women, A-students are the overachieving men who are sustained by accomplishments and public acknowledgment. They lack the sensitive character makeup needed to be successful fathers and good husbands. A-students are able to provide for you financially and can buy you some pretty awesome gifts, but in the end…many will disappoint you.

The real question that you need to ask yourself is this…

Would I be happy growing old with this person with no money, possessions or public acknowledgments?


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