Separation for Our Preparation

“Nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus.” - Galatians 1:17

The apostle Paul tells us in the first chapter of Galatians some of the facts surrounding his own conversion. He tells us that he clearly understood the call Jesus placed on his life. He did not have to consult other men about this calling. But before he was released to begin his own mission, He went to Arabia for three years. Why did Paul have to go to Arabia for three years before he ever met another disciple of Jesus Christ?

The Scripture does not tell us plainly why Paul spent three years in Arabia. However, based upon many examples of God placing special calls on people's lives, we know it often requires a time of separation between the old life and the new life. No doubt, Paul had plenty of time to consider what had taken place in his life and time to develop an intimate knowledge and relationship with the newfound Savior. His life was about to change dramatically.

So often, when God places a call on one of His children, it requires a separation between the old life and the new life. There is a time of being away from the old in order to prepare the heart for what is ultimately coming. It can be a painful and difficult separation. Joseph was separated from his family. Jacob was sent to live with his uncle Laban. Moses was sent to the desert.

When God began a deeper work in my own life, it required a separation from all I had known before. He removed all that I had placed confidence in up to that point…money, my career, my party lifestyle and the most painful…the many members of my concubine (that one hurt). I was actually at a point in my life where things were actually lining-up socially, professionally, but something was still eating at me spiritually. God had a different idea. He removed all my creature comforts and security in order to accomplish a much greater work than what I could see at the time. The picture is clear now. I understand why it was necessary, but I didn't at the time. It is not until we learn how to serve Him that we ultimately position ourselves to receive what our Creator ultimately has for us. Think of yourselves as waiters in a restaurant where, as you are waiting, you continue to serve those who are patrons in your establishment (aka your life).

Perhaps God has placed you in your own period of separation. Perhaps you cannot make sense of the situation in which you find yourself. If you press into God during this time, He will reveal the many purposes He has for you. The key is pressing into Him. Merge into a deeper relationship with Him. Seek Him with a whole heart and He will be found. God may have a special calling and message He is building in your life right now. Trust in His love for you that He will fully complete the work He has started in you.

Corporately as the body of Christ and also personally, we are approaching the midway point of 2010. Continue to use this year as a point of reference in your life. I believe that we get separated in preparation for something greater to come. We deal with death, financial setbacks, job loss and personal health issues. However, despite the trials and tribulation in our lives we have to remember that the One who leads us to the life challenges is powerful enough to get us through them. Amen!

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Do Professional Women Face Dating Hurdles?

Dating for professional black women is one of the most interesting debates that we entertain in today’s social circles. In my opinion, I believe we have made the issue a lot larger than what it truly is because of the many books, movies and workplace discussions that deal with the subject. When truly evaluating the core issues at hand, the hurdles that professional black women have fishing in a relatively small dating pond are as follows:

1) Media Influence – The media has truly influenced the perspectives and self-views of many professional black women. When a message is conveyed over and over again, it often positions the recipients to begin embellishing the statements as truth. You hear messages regarding the issues professional black women face in dating via radio shows, blogs and magazines. This prompts the discussions between friends, co-workers and thus results in the perpetual mindsets that now exist. The reality is no matter if the statistics state that 42.7% of African-American women are unmarried, women have to realize that it only takes meeting ONE man to place them in the 57.3% category. However, if a negative mindset is embraced, then experiences usually follow.

2) Misconception of Men’s Views – There is a misconception that men are intimidated by the educational, professional and social statuses of successful black women. This is true when women are only exposed to groups of underconfident and immature men who lack motivation. If this seems to be the norm, then I recommend doing something different in order to get exposure to new circles of men. There are groups of men who desire to be men of integrity. There are men who desire to be married. There are men who embrace the professional and educational pursuits of black women. There are men who desire to love women unconditionally. The common misunderstanding of black men is “black men are intimidated by successful black women.” The success isn’t what disconnects men and women it’s the perceived attitude that is associated with the professional success and education. If two people make each other feel valued, then the relationship will work despite an educational or professional gap. Genuine love bridges the widest of gaps and eases the deepest of insecurities.

3) Misunderstanding of “Value” – Somewhere along the line of time our society lost the things that should be viewed and embraced as “valuable” in relationships. Say what you want, our grandparents were able to build long-lasting relationships not based on money, but on love and sacrifice. By having one another’s back through thick in thin. By understanding that sacrifice will get you further than a master’s degree, home or diversified financial portfolio. When you need someone to hug, to vent to or sacrifice during your time of need, a person’s net worth is irrelevant. Don’t get me wrong, it is important to have goals and pursue them, but not at the expense of losing a grip on what keeps relationships anchored.

Professional black women may encounter greater distractions in Atlanta than other cities, but this can be attributed to the social competition and materialism that exists. Smaller cities don’t typically have the same level of competition and thus a different relationship mindset exists.

Professional black women in Atlanta do face hurdles when dating, but much of it lies in the distance between their ears. A renewed mindset, confidence and an understanding of what is truly valued in relationships can make all the difference in dating and relationship experiences.

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