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Friday, June 4, 2010

Let’s Wait A While – Are You Worth The Wait?


In 1986, Janet Jackson came out with a popular hit titled “Let’s Wait A While” that took the country by storm. The words of the hit song used to epitomize the approach that ‘quality’ women took when dealing with men in dating and relationships. Unfortunately, things have shifted from “Let’s Wait A While” to a “have-to-have it” mentality.

The modern day approach is pretty predictable and standard. Man meets woman. They exchange information. They go out. Man taps into the mind of the woman. Proper mind tapping results in an open heart and open body experience. It’s usually that easy. Tupac stated it best in his song "I Get Around" when he said, "I don't want it if that's easy!" This can be better translated as "I won't want YOU if it's that easy!"

Now there is nothing wrong with the above formula as long as it’s with the person you are destined to spend your life with. However, the above equation has gone from a Hollywood fairytale experience, to a merry-go-round experience with the flavor of the week. Would you share your retirement account with someone who isn’t vested? Well, why treat your personal treasure with someone who isn’t licensed? Hmmm…

Have women taken on a more male-minded mentality when it comes to sex?
Do women have a ‘probation’ period before they release themselves physically to someone they’re dating?
Why NOT make men wait for the prize if you believe it’s worth it?

Why don’t men take a “Let’s Wait A While” approach when dealing with women?
Do men not respect women who make a commitment to saving their treasure for marriage?

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Thursday, June 3, 2010

What Is Your True Relationship Value?


Everyday there are various magazine articles, blogs, radio and television programs dedicated to addressing the ‘epidemic’ of singleness in our society. We are entertained by a number of so-called ‘quality’ men and women who discuss their plights as to why each of them, as a quality candidate, still has the unlucky ‘I’m still single’ card. There are NEVER enough quality men to choose for women. There are ALWAYS too many ‘high potential’ women to sort through and make a commitment to for men.

As single listeners/viewers, we often place ourselves into their shoes wondering “Why am I still single?” We then begin thinking about the various things we perceive as qualities that should make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, too many of us have a higher self-appraisal of ourselves than what others are willing to view as true relationship value. Sort of like the homeowner who thinks their home is worth $400,000, when the true market value based on recent sales is really $300,000.

The question I pose to you today is “What is your true relationship value?”

How would you be rated in the following areas on a scale of 1-5? Rank the areas in order of importance for the person you would seriously consider as the husband/wife in your life. Meaning…what’s important for your mate to bring to the table?

1. Physical – What is your current physical status? Do you eat healthy? Physical attraction isn’t necessarily based on looks, but your ability to present yourself in a manner that accents you as an individual (i.e., via your attire, grooming, nails, etc.).
2. Professional – Are you where you desire to be professionally? If not, are you taking steps to achieve your goals? Or are you simply treading water working a JOB? Your professional life is something that should pursue and stabilize during your single season.
3. Financial – How are your financial management skills? Do you know how to balance a checkbook? How is your credit? Sound financial management isn’t based on how much you make, but your ability to properly manage what you do make. Finances are a major component to the health of marriages, so you need to be able to positively contribute in this area.
4. Social – Do you know how to have fun? Do people enjoy being around you? Or are you always negative? Can you enjoy the subtleties of life? Your social life helps bring enjoyment to healthy relationships.
5. Spiritual – Do you have a spiritual life? How important is it to you? Are you willing to compromise your beliefs for Mr./Mrs. Right? Your spiritual life is either seen as a major foundation or simply a nice to have in relationships.

Check your score:

25 – Try again…no one is perfect

21-24 – You are a great catch

16-20 – You are a good catch

11-15 – Needs improvement

6-10 – Destined for singleness

1-5 – Is a response really needed?

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Brought to you by Kenny Pugh – http://www.kennypugh.com and Chat Kafe – http://www.chatkafeonline.com.

**All of my new blogs will be posted via http://chatkafe.blogspot.com and http://www.kennypugh.com. Please join either site to receive my blog updates**

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Solo Mission


Last night I endured yet another evening of battling insomnia! These bouts are becoming more and more frequent, but I believe I’m still going through a process of preparation for something greater. To make matters worse, it seems as if God is pruning people out of my life so that I can truly embrace and appreciate His presence. It’s challenging enough going through a life season without any clear direction, but add in the factor of having no one to endure the journey along with you. Call it a solo mission!

No matter how much we try to avoid it, some things in life are meant to be experienced in isolation, in order to prepare you for the life journey ahead. Have you ever been in a situation where it seems as if every component of your life is being challenged? Challenged professionally? Challenged relationally? Challenged financially? Challenged spiritually? Well solo missions position you to trust God’s voice when you cannot trust your own vision. Faith is really irrelevant if you’re able to control your own life and the circumstances surrounding it. Take it from me, your life is comprised of solo missions that help shape the person you are and the person you’ll become.

How will you respond to your solo missions?

Will you fuss and complain?
Will you embrace the process?
Will you try to flee and escape?


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Brought to you by Kenny Pugh – http://www.kennypugh.com and Chat Kafe – http://www.chatkafeonline.com.

**All of my new blogs will be posted via http://chatkafe.blogspot.com and http://www.kennypugh.com. Please join either site to receive my blog updates**